No Coffee

The other day I mentioned that Lion hadn’t put the coffee pot together and program it to brew for the next morning. He usually does this. On a weekend it’s not really a big deal. We have time. On weekdays, it’s nice to have the coffee well on it’s way to brewing by the time I walk into the kitchen to make breakfast. Not that it takes all that long to set up but every minute counts when I’m trying to get to work. Lion apologized and suggested it be a rule.

It seems silly to have a rule for not getting the coffee ready. However, it is a good rule for our funishments. All of our silly rules now fall under that category. They don’t get real punishments but they’re a way to keep our heads in the game. If I can maintain my vigilance for observing the silly rules, it only helps me in observing the more serious rules.

When suggesting the coffee rule, Lion said I’ve been missing infractions. I probably am. I let him interrupt me and annoy me in other ways without “catching” him. I think it depends on my mood at the time and how frustrated I may be with other things. Is Lion supposed to know that I’m pissed off because X happened and the thing he just did would normally not be annoying but now it is because I’ve had it up to here? Shouldn’t I just take a deep breath and suck it up sometimes rather than being a bitch and pouncing on every little thing? [Lion — Pounce! ]

But maybe that’s just what I need to do. Those silly rules were put in place so I’d get used to observing and punishing, and Lion would get used to following rules. If I force myself to be a bitch who pounces on every little thing, I’ll get used to observing and punishing for the more serious rules. However, sometimes I just don’t feel like enforcing rules. And, yes, I understand that helps neither of us.

I guess I really do just have to suck it up, but not to let it go. I need to suck it up and let Lion know when he’s done something wrong. It’s only fair.

[Lion — I agree completely. We’ve learned that we need almost mechanical consistency to make our disciplinary relationship work. It may seem unfair sometimes to strongly punish something Mrs. Lion would like to shrug off, but we’ve learned that if we make exceptions, in the end all we will have is a lot of exceptions.]


  1. Personally I find consistency the most important thing about punishment. In reading many blogs that deal with spousal punishment, it is a common issue.

    1. There is absolutely no question that’s the case for us. If the purpose of punishment is to change an undesired behavior, inconsistency is almost a sure guarantee it won’t work. That’s why very often it looks like Mrs. Lion is being unfair to me. For example, in her current Lioness 3.0 mode, she has agreed to punish even the slightest annoyance. Since her punishments are quite severe, even the mildest version will hurt for days later. However, without absolute consistency, especially in the beginning, the good habits she needs to form simply won’t take root.

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