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In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

My orgasm count is very high. Thursday night was my 50th orgasm this year. That’s a bit over one a week. At first I felt a bit embarrassed about this cornucopia of seminal release. I know compared to others, I am hardly abstinent at all. Maybe that’s numerically true, but I’ll bet I get just as horny and desperate for an orgasm as anyone.

It’s not that I can’t wait longer. I can. Long abstinence was never a goal for either of us. It’s about sexual control. Bear in mind that I am edged almost every night. My waits are punctuated every day by repeated trips to the brink of ejaculation. All that activity keeps my desperation high.

I know that if Mrs. Lion wishes, I can wait much longer. My current wait could extend for any amount of time. I suspect my next orgasm will be after a wait of more than ten days. So what? The bottom line is that enforced chastity restored the physical intimacy we lost for a decade. That restoration was  due to the power exchange and the chastity device I wear. We are both sure the time between orgasms has no part in this.

So much chastity mythology revolves around the alleged positive changes in male behavior that abstinence creates. As the story goes, after a male ejaculates, he becomes lazy and disobedient. So, ipso-fatso, to keep a male loving, helpful, and obedient, don’t let him ejaculate. Those who follow this regime, work hard to keep the male’s orgasms as infrequent as possible.

My personality doesn’t change after I ejaculate. Other guys do experience emotional changes for a few days after coming. Maybe, for them, extended waits are a necessary part of their power exchanges. Fair enough.

The point of enforced chastity is a power exchange. The keyholder decides when her male ejaculates. At least, that’s how people think about it. I believe it’s closer to the truth that the males want longer waits than their partners would prescribe on their own. If I have an opinion on the length of my waits, I’m not sharing it. It’s very important to me that Mrs. Lion determines that without my input. I’m happy she’s in control. She doesn’t need my input; just my output when it is time.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

I love watching Lion while I edge him. He gets such great looks on his face. Last night was concentration. His brow was furrowed. He was focused on coming. What could I do? I let him come. And then his face changed to relief although his hands clenched tightly. It hadn’t been that long since his last orgasm. It rarely is, but I wanted to reward that concentration. By rights I should have made him wait at least until next Wednesday during our trip. But I’m a sucker for that face.

As I was locking him back up he said he’s amazed that we’re still doing this after three years. I have to say, I am too. But we certainly are not about to mess with success. Neither of us can believe we’ve been together as long as we have either. In some ways it seems like we’ve always been together. In others, it seems like we haven’t been together long at all. We have no idea why we work at all. Generally, we don’t like the same things. You could say opposites attract, but I’m not sure that quite does it justice. It’s like the universe took two people who don’t fit in any mold and made them fit together. It’s weird. And wonderful.

We got a late start on playing last night. Dinner was late. Showers were late. I was struggling with a computer issue. We were watching TV and keeping an eye on the baseball game. (Yay Cubbies!!!) Despite saying I was going to jump start things by having orgasms, last night didn’t seem like the night to start. There was too much going on. Lion edging was easier to do and he needs the attention more than I do. He was definitely happy to be edged…and more. The “and more” is his favorite part.

Now I’m really going to stand my ground. I only have to make it past Sunday night. Lion leaves very early Monday morning. If I can resist giving him an orgasm between tonight and Sunday night, I’m home free. Lion won’t be around Monday and Tuesday nights. I can’t possibly give him an orgasm those two nights. I doubt, after a long flight on Wednesday, that I’ll feel like giving him one then. He’ll have to wait until Thursday at the very least. Maybe Friday. We’ll have to see how we feel.

I know in “normal” enforced chastity relationships, it’s the male who is chomping at the bit wanting an orgasm. In our relationship I’m sure Lion is still the one chomping at the bit more, but I also want him to have orgasms. It’s definitely more of a problem with my willpower. Each time I give him an orgasm, he tells me how many he’s had for the year. I think we’re up to 50 so far. Holy cow! Are we sure he’s being denied? That doesn’t sound like a lot of waiting to me.

By:
In: Lion's Journal

We’ve had a lot of reaction to recent posts about domestic discipline. Much of the reaction has been negative. The main objection seems to center around the fact that the spankings that are administered are designed to cause pain and leave lasting sensitivity. I think that the real  problem is that the spankings are administered when the disciplinary wife decides her husband needs them. At first blush, this is very different from the acceptable spankings that go with BDSM scenes.

The severity of the “play” spankings are often considerably worse than the punishments meted out in the DD relationship. But, the objections claim, the play spankings were asked for and negotiated in advance. The BDSM bottom asked for the severity. According to the critics, the disciplined husband had no choice. Like it or not, he got a beating.

Before we began writing this blog, I spent a lot of time on chastity forums. I was reading, writing, and learning. The objections I read were very similar to the most recent ones about DD. A typical chastity objection went something like this: “How can a man allow someone to lock up his penis as long as the keyholder wants? That’s just cruel.”

I’m paraphrasing, of course, but that was the basic gist. It seemed to some that it is unthinkable for a man to lose control of his own sexual pleasure. Over the years, I’ve stopped seeing this sort of comment. Maybe that’s a sign of enforced chastity coming out of the kink closet. Or, maybe people who seek out online information about enforced chastity are curious and interested enough to suspend shock and disbelief. Who knows?

My point is that DD and enforced chastity are consensual activities. Both partners have agreed to the practice. DD without consent is domestic violence. Virtually every DD relationship is initiated by the male partner. It was in our case too. I asked Mrs. Lion to take charge and punish me as she saw fit. I went past that. When I felt she wasn’t strict enough, I asked her to do more. You can read all that in earlier posts.

At the time I am being punished, there is no question that I am very unhappy to experience the pain. I would love to find a way to avoid it. If I could, I would stop Mrs. Lion when it started to hurt too much. That doesn’t mean she is hurting me against my will. I asked her to be my disciplinary wife with full knowledge that I would learn to dread punishment. That’s the point, isn’t it?

I think it’s true of all couples who practice 24/7 power exchanges that everything that happens is done by mutual agreement; just not at the time things get unpleasant. The point of enforced chastity is sexual surrender. That means there are times I wish I could get off but can’t. Mrs. Lion hasn’t decided I should get an orgasm. At times like that I can be sorry I started all this. But, you know, even in those dark moments I know what we are doing is very right for me.

When I am flat on the bed and Mrs. Lion is using a very painful implement to spank me, you can bet I wish I could make her stop. Well, no, not really. I just want it to be over. Even when my butt glows and hurts if I try to sit or lie on my back, I know those sensations are the result of a very loving partner’s attention to me.

Others may not understand that I want to be “hurt”. But I do; not because I like pain. Quite the contrary. But because the pain is only part of a complex relationship that provides us both with greater happiness.

Wearing a chastity device is often inconvenient. At this point, one isn’t necessary to enforce Mrs. Lion’s control. No matter how horny I get, caged or wild, I’m not going to take matters into my own hands. We both know that. We both want me to remain caged anyway. It’s come to mean something to us that we can’t quite put into words. But we know it’s important I stay in a chastity device.

Believe it or not, I need those spankings too. I get a sense of security and love from the strict leadership of my lioness. We’ve both come to realize that even if I don’t earn punishment, I need “maintenance” spankings anyway. I guess it’s like the chastity device. It provides a connection that contributes to our happiness.

Yes, it’s perverted. I suppose that’s why we call these practices, “kinks.”

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Last night Lion said he’s sure he’s the problem with my libido. He just doesn’t turn me on. And he’s not sure he ever did. That’s an awful lot of pressure to put on himself. And me.

First of all, he’s right that he doesn’t turn me on. Nothing does. No one does. Wires are crossed somewhere. Maybe the combination of drugs, or just one drug, I take short circuits things. It’s not like I see guys on TV or on the street that make me weak in the knees, while Lion doesn’t. It’s not like I look at Mr. Weenie and say, “Great. Not this again.” I love Mr. Weenie. I love Lion.

Maybe it’s me. Maybe I have a mental block about sex. That may seem crazy since it’s a large part of what we talk about in the blog, but it’s mostly Lion’s sexual escapades. Maybe I’ve put him first and subconsciously I can’t get turned on because I won’t let myself get turned on. Maybe it really is all about Lion in my mind. I want to be clear: I am not blaming Lion for this theory. He’s ready, willing, and able to give me all the orgasms I want, whenever I want them. I just don’t want them and I’m spitballing why that might be.

We’ve tried scheduling orgasms for me just as Lion has scheduled orgasms. The problem with that is it feels too staged. I like spontaneity. Of course, without a libido, there is no spontaneity. I’ll never roll over and give Lion that same little leer he gives me when he’s looking for love if I don’t feel it. It stands to reason that I need to do something to jump start it. Scheduling an orgasm seems like the way to go. Maybe we need to go back to that. When I first started spanking Lion, I was positive I was going to hurt him. And it seemed ridiculous to spank him. It took a while to get over that. Maybe it will take a while to get over the ridiculousness of a scheduled orgasm for me.

Maybe it has to be all about me for a while. Maybe we need to stop enforced chastity and FLR for a while to focus on the search for my lost libido. I can see that taking a disastrously wrong turn so I think we’ll save that idea as a last resort. I don’t want to lose any ground we fought so hard to gain.

At this point, I guess the answer is forcing the issue with more orgasms for me whether I want them or not. I’m just not used to having all the attention focused on me. It’s a lot to get my head wrapped around.