I didn’t actually plan on today’s Lion swats being birthday swats. I knew it was his birthday. I knew it was his scheduled orgasm date; it was purposely scheduled for his birthday. I knew I was planning to do the first installment of the numb butt swat experiment today. But the thought didn’t cross my mind until this morning that those swats could be birthday swats. Duh! That means Lion will get mumblety-mumble hard swats right off the bat. Too bad he didn’t want to ease into things like I did. Oh, well. Live and learn.
I also suggested, as my father said when he reached a certain age, that Lion should begin counting backwards for birthdays. Lion wondered at what age you should start doing that. He reasoned that if you started too early, eventually you’d be in negative numbers. For example, if you start at 40 and live to be 82, you’ll be -2 when you die. I’d suggest picking an age, counting down to 21 and then back up. That way you’re legal to do whatever you want. Lion has just decided to get presents and cards and not add another year to his age.
I don’t know if I’ll actually give him all mumblety-mumble swats. We’ll see how it goes. His butt and my arm will decide that for us. Tomorrow he leaves for the hurricane-ravaged east coast. I’d like it if he felt the swats a little bit but I don’t want him to be uncomfortable for his flight. Being crammed into a metal tube is difficult enough without having your butt hurt.
I sent Lion a birthday e-card about a blow job. It was a grandmotherly type woman blowing bubbles with a pipe. Presumably talking to children, she asked if they wanted her to blow hard or soft. I figured it would make Lion laugh. He knows I’ll probably give him a blow job for his birthday orgasm. It’s one of our favorite things to do. I also tend to torture him more with my mouth. I want to make sure he’s really, really ready for an orgasm.
Given the past few nights of edging, I’d say Lion is indeed really, really ready for an orgasm. I’ve been getting him closer and closer and somehow still managing to stop just in time. I’m getting better at perfecting my craft. Happy birthday, my pet.