About Those Spankings

spanking paddle
This is the very mean paddle. It’s length, weight, and small business end combine to make it exceptionally painful. This design is based on a paddle used during U.S. colonial times on recalcitrant adults.

I’ve long understood that spanking causes the “spankee” to go through various phases. The first is reacting to the pain.  The reaction ranges from silence with changed breathing, to screams. As the sensation increases, the second phase is anger. If the bottom is bound (a very good idea if you plan to go to or through this point), he will fight to get out of the bondage. If he isn’t, then he will probably turn over and demand the spanking stop. The third phase is submission. He will cry actual tears and accept the pain.

Most BDSM spankings never get past the first phase. With most impact toys it would be difficult to get any further. We have an exceptionally effective paddle. It is 16-inches long and the business end is a circle only 3 1/2-inches in diameter (see image, right). It is made of 3/8″ hardwood which is very heavy and dense. The combination of the leverage provided by the long handle and the small, concentrated striking area, makes it easy to administer a very severe blow.

It only takes a few swats with that paddle to rocket me from phase one to phase two. At that point I turn over and announce “Enough!” Mrs. Lion usually waits for me to get back in position and continues. I try to stop her again. She generally stops or reduces the force of the blows at that point.

Before you go all he-should-take-it-and-not-move on me, bear in mind that a serious spanking can trigger largely involuntary reactions. I agree that I should hold still all the way into phase three, but so far I can’t do it more than a couple of strokes into phase 2.

2.0 is going to have “practice” sessions with me to see if my ability to accept her punishment can be improved. On Monday night I was to get 20 hard swats (3 pennies in the punishment bank). I barely got past six. Maybe 2.0 should repeat the session every night until I get to 20 without trying to get away. That might be a long, painful process but it could help my self control.

She said that she will reduce the force of the blows. I agreed when she said that and even suggested she could make them harder to see just when I go to phase 2. It is a sensible plan. On the other hand, she should be able to spank me with the force she wants to use. I am in no danger of real injury, just a lot of discomfort. That’s what made me think of nightly repetitions until I can complete the 20 hard swats I am owed.

2.0 is making progress in exerting her will over mine. Anal play now goes well beyond when I want to stop it. She is teaching me to accept without complaint. In my mind the same is true of spanking. I don’t want to be able to take even a little control over that. This is especially true of punishment. Accepting something I really hate is great training for unquestioning obedience.

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  1. Author

    Thanks for the clear description of the various spanking stages! I expect that will be – useful…

    1. Author

      If you are being spanked, you will have no trouble recognizing where you are. 🙂

  2. Author

    Why do you think that you want to receive such painful spankings from your wife? They cleary are not ones you fantasized about and enjoy, but there must ultimately be some benefit that you experience to consent to painful beatings.

    Also, in one of your earlier posts you emphasized the use of painful beatings for the smallest of transgressions and even where there was no explicit rule that was broken. That seems so unjust and unfair. It would also seemingly provoke an enormous amount of anxiety because you are never sure when you’ll cross the line–however innocently–and be made to suffer intense physical pain.

    Everything you’ve said is consistent with what I’ve read elsewhere about FLR-DD, but I can’t understand how you guys so readily transition from a fantasy to a reality that is harsh and painful.

    1. Author

      You bring up interesting points. In my case, I always got turned on by spanking; not the painful punishment kind but the ones that start of gentle and build up along with my endorphin level. For a spanking to be meaningful as punishment, in my case it needs to start out hard and stay that way.

      The reality isn’t harsh and painful. For me at least, the power exchange needs “teeth”. If my wife is to truly be in charge and have the power to enforce her decisions and my obedience, she needs an unmistakable way to punish me when I need it.She chose spanking. There are other, equally unpleasant ways to be punished. The point for me is that I don’t want to confuse the sexually exciting play that involves physical BDSM activity with retribution for a wrong.

      Because I wrote that I want my lioness to be harsh regardless of the offense, it doesn’t mean she is. A minor violation is punished with a light spanking that isn’t very painful. It’s a reminder to watch my step. More serious infractions earn painful spankings that I don’t want to repeat. That’s the purpose of punishment.

      “Everything you’ve said is consistent with what I’ve read elsewhere about FLR-DD, but I can’t understand how you guys so readily transition from a fantasy to a reality that is harsh and painful.”

      My reality isn’t as bleak as you imagine. It’s not that difficult to avoid painful spankings. I just have to follow my rules, be respectful and obedient. That’s what I signed up to do. I think you will get more information from some of my upcoming posts. I plan to try to articulate the benefits of our decision to pursue this. Stay tuned.

      1. Author

        Thanks for the detailed response.

        I am where you started, as in where you say “I always got turned on by spanking; not the painful punishment kind but the ones that start of gentle and build up along with my endorphin level.”

        I just can’t figure out why you (and other FLR-DD guys) want to move away from that type of spanking into the punitive spankings. Of course, it helps enforce your wife’s authority, but that begs the question: why do you want to give it her, and what does giving it to her do for you that is better or more important than simply indulging the initial kink that ultimately led you down this path?

        For what it’s worth, I’ve asked other FLR-DD guys this, and they have not had an easy time articulating an answer. For them, something was operating at a deep psychological level that they couldn’t access sufficiently to explain it.

        Looking forward to the future posts.

  3. Author

    Hello again
    I “discovered” your blog three days ago when I followed a link from someone on collar me. I have started to read your archives with great interest and enthusiasm. I am only up to May 2014 but decided to jump ahead read about a subject that find very interesting, spanking. I have only experienced spanking for pleasure, but I can see the need for a more intense punishment spanking to express control and power exchange. I have experienced the effect of endorphin’s from piercings and light spankings and may have felt the beginnings of what could be considered subspace, a subject of great fascination to me. I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject and have you yourself experienced it and the need for aftercare. Thank you and keep up the great work.

  4. Author

    Sorry….correction collarme is now collarspace.

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