We didn’t play last night. It was the end of yet another long week and I just wanted to relax and vegetate. We watched TV and held hands and, yes, I was on my iPad. I’ve been more careful to interact with Lion while I’m on it. I try not to get lost unless I’m reading something. He was on his iPad from time to time too. I considered it a nice, quiet night together. I’m not sure what Lion considered it. Today we have errands to run. It seems the more I want a quiet weekend with no place to go, the more we have to run. Oh well. Such is life.

To make things interesting, I’ll have Lion wear his shock collar while we’re out. A few zaps here and there will keep him on his toes. He tries to be on his best behavior when he’s wearing it, but sometimes he does slip up. Zap! So far I haven’t hit him with the +2 feature which magnifies the zap. I’ve only used it to make him jump so I can see his look of shock. I’m reserving the +2 for when he really screws up. And he will. [Lion — Ye of little faith!]

Lion didn’t get any extra sling time during the week. I’ll have to get him in there this afternoon. He needs some menthol or butt whomps. Mostly he just needs to be restrained. If I did nothing else but restrain him and edge him, he’d be a happy boy. I really should peg him some more. He needs to get ready for the fucking machine at some point. 2.0 has an idea for that, but he needs to be “open” to this new idea first. I find it interesting that every time we had anal sex, I was ready for him, but he’s not ready for the fucking machine. Are you sure women are the weaker sex?

When we get a chance, I want to look at a different collar for Lion. My idea is a chain of some sort. It could even be a heavy necklace. Something that isn’t as thick as the nylon collar and will move with him. He still wouldn’t have to wear it to work but he could wear it out to the store. If it just looks like a necklace it shouldn’t scream COLLAR to anyone who sees it. I’m not looking to embarrass him. I just want something else that reminds him I’m in charge. You know, aside from the cage, and his nakedness, and the shock collar, and the paddles, and me.

Now that we are in our third year of enforced chastity our writing has a different slant than it did when we were first starting in 2014. (Hint: you can access old posts by clicking on the archive links at the bottom of the right column.) In those days, we wrote about our initial exploration of this now-established practice. As time went by and enforced chastity became part of day-to-day living,  our focus shifted to how our lives were changing; for that matter, as they still continue to change. In some ways I think this makes our blog less relevant to people considering or just starting with enforced chastity. I realized this would probably happen and created pages (you can find them listed by topic at the top of this page inside the black navigation bar) that cover the basic how-to’s of things we do.

It’s a fact that most people find us via searches on Google. So, where we first meet depends on what post or page Google thinks is most relevant to the individual search. This, of course, is true of almost every web site. It’s also a fact of life that most people rarely read the right column information, or even notice the navigation bar at the top of every page. I can’t complain. Our site is listed very high up on searches for relevant topics. A lot of people find us. I wonder how helpful we end up being.

Like many of the enforced chastity and FLR blogs, we don’t try to make any money from our readers. There are no ads and we don’t promote books or products that pay us if you buy them. We have no incentive to keep you here when you have the information you want. Well, that’s not entirely true. Nothing makes me happier than seeing our visitor logs and seeing that somebody spent over ten hours reading a hundred pages or more. We have no way to know who spent that time here. We just know that someone read a sequence of page. I would love to find out whether we were helpful or not.

When we first started out, I got a lot of help and ideas by reading blogs and forums. That was a major reason for all those pages that people don’t see listed at the top of the page. That’s not to say no one reads those pages. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Hundreds of people read each of them every day. Google sends them. There ‘s an entire profession dedicated to helping (for a big fee) web sites provide a great visitor experience. For commercial sites, every extra minute a visitor spends on the site is worth money to the site owner.  I have some training in this dark art and I have tried to use what knowledge I have to make visiting us a better experience.

The reason I decided to write about this stuff today is that there is a great hunger for good information about enforced chastity, FLR, and DD. For every real-life, helpful blog there are at least fifty providing fantasies and wrong, even-dangerous advice. There is no organization of reputable blogs on this subject, or any other for that matter. The Internet is still the wild west in that sense. The vast majority of bloggers don’t write about other blogs. I know that we all read one another, but for some reason we exist in our own isolated splendor. I think we need to start introducing our readers to other writing we like. Cross links are clickable words that take you to another site. Google promotes this unselfish behavior by giving more weight to sites that link to other sites. If you check out the right column of our site, you will see cross links to blogs I regularly read. It isn’t close to an exhaustive list of excellent blogs on our subject, but it represents some very good sites. Keyheld, for enforced chastity and Sheheld for FLR are other very interesting lists of sites to consider. Some are fantasy sites and others may or may not have good advice. But it is a start and worth your attention.

2.0 told Lion there was a butt plug and edging in his future yesterday. By mid-afternoon, he was asking if there’d be spanking as well. Not from a punishment point of view, but toughen-his-buns spanking. I said perhaps there would be. By evening, Lion was not able to take the butt plug. No problem. He asked for a rain check. Of course he can have a rain check. Then I wondered if he anticipated my saying if he didn’t take the butt plug then, he could never have it again. Now or never. No rain check. It just seemed odd to me. I understand he felt bad for not being able to take it. In effect, he was refusing to do something 2.0 wanted him to do. On the other hand, if it would cause injury or anything other than normal discomfort, we shouldn’t do it.

I gave the example of his breaking a toe and being in so much pain he didn’t feel up to playing. I need to know if there’s a problem. I don’t want to force him into playing. 2.0 isn’t the evil internet dominatrix so many people envision. I don’t think 3.0 would be that either. The bottom line is there will be times when playing is out or has to be modified. So what if we couldn’t do the butt plug last night. We can do it tonight. Or tomorrow night. There’s no expiration date on it. So Lion got a little bit of spanking after all. 2.0 wasn’t really into it so it didn’t last long, but he had rosy cheeks and I have a better understanding of where the sweet spot is. Granted, I’ll probably forget when I go to spank him again.

And then we moved onto edging. I used plenty of lube this time around. I was considering edging him a few times, waiting a bit, and edging him again. It took a little while to get him hard and then my technique wasn’t good. He thought I was gripping too hard, or not hard enough. It was not a good angle. Something was just off. So I tried again and this time he started bucking a little. Suddenly 2.0 needed an orgasm. Multiple edging and waiting and edging went out the window and Lion roared right through the end. He didn’t bother asking why this time. He agreed when I said he must be surprised. 2.0 really is a mystery. She takes what she wants when she wants it.

[Note: I wrote this post on Thursday at the same time, apparently, Mrs. Lion wrote hers for Thursday afternoon. This is not a reaction to what she wrote. It certainly sounds that way. This happens frequently. We both write without looking at each other’s next post but somehow they talk about very similar things. Weird.]

I don’t expect to enjoy everything that happens to me. Punishments are very painful and I hate them. Even some of the play we do hurts a lot and when it starts I cringe. That’s not what I am talking about. Those things are part of what makes life interesting for me. Before and after I suffer, I find all that a turn on. What gets to me now and then is the sense that my need for these kinks not only separates me from most people, but also puts pressure on Mrs. Lion that she doesn’t really want or need.

It’s not like I met her at a leather event and that she had a longstanding fantasy about controlling a man’s sex life and becoming head of household. I know it’s only her love for me that provides motivation for her assumption of control. Whenever I think about this, I get conflicting feelings: I’m profoundly grateful that she is willing  to go to such extremes to make me happy; and I feel massively guilty for putting her in the position to do all these things that she has no real desire to do.

These are my feelings. She never gives me any reason to feel this guilt. But I do. Most of the time I try to gratefully accept her attention and leadership. But then days come along when the reality creeps in and I find myself wondering how I could be so selfish.

I’ve asked her how she feels about what she is doing. Invariably she answers, “It’s OK.” This is her go-to neutral answer to most questions that most likely would draw a negative response if she was willing to risk provoking a negative feeling in the questioner. Knowing that, I too often press her to get a better idea of what’s really going on. Generally, those efforts don’t get much more information. The thing I hate the most is that when I mention these concerns, she feels badly that she doesn’t feel the way I expect. That’s the last thing I want. Then I feel even guiltier. This is a vicious circle. One that I created.

The fact is that for whatever reason, Mrs. Lion is making my dreams come true. Not only that, she is independently growing into the role I want. She isn’t just doing things I ask her to do. She is becoming creative and is truly taking charge. She is very successful as a keyholder and disciplining wife. I’m grateful she has chosen to do this for me. I really shouldn’t look a gift lioness in the mouth.

It is beyond wrong for me to expect her to love her role. I hope that over time she will learn to like it. I know she likes the effect being my keyholder has had on our marriage. That improvement motivates both of us. So, if sometimes I feel down, it’s not because I am sorry that I’ve lost a lot of freedom; it’s because I’ve given Mrs. Lion so much extra work.