Tender Butt

Our posts over the last couple of weeks mention Lioness 2.0. For reasons neither of us understand, she decided to become stricter and less interested in whether I am enjoying what she does to me. Let me be clear that I consider this to be a very good thing. I don’t think it is such a good thing when activities start getting very intense. But given the distance of a few hours from the activities, I acknowledge that she is doing exactly what I want.

This is the first time in my life that I am truly not in control, particularly when we play. 2.0 is not going to stop what she is doing just because I am unhappy at the moment. Of course she will stop if I am in genuine distress. We don’t currently have a safe word. She trusts me to report honestly if things go a bit too far. We also don’t have a signal to “slow down”. Part of her control is that she decides how much buildup I get. I agree with that decision.

Our play is much more intense. She wants me to really feel what she is doing. I think that this is just the beginning. Sensibly, she is not starting at full intensity. She is learning to judge how much I can take versus how much I want. I’m beginning to learn to take what she gives without needing to be tied down. I’m not very good at that. Punishment spankings, particularly when she hits a certain spot become too much for me and I try to either get away or verbally stop her. So far 2.0 doesn’t stop immediately, but she does seem to turn down the force and end the spanking

I don’t expect that to last. I have no idea how I will learn to handle it when she keeps going. I suspect that when things get that serious, I may need to be tied down. I am fine when she hits other parts of my butt. There is this one spot that sends me through the ceiling. I don’t recall any bottoms I have spanked reporting anything like this. I don’t expect or want 2.0 to avoid the spot. I just have no clear idea how to learn to improve my ability to receive her spankings. Any suggestions?

My inability to overcome this bothers me a lot. I think I have improved in my bottoming in the other areas we have tried. I can handle anal penetration and I am making progress with pegging. But spanking seems to be an activity I am not learning to manage. I understand it hurts; and in the case of punishment, should hurt a lot. My unacceptable reactions seem involuntary. I know they aren’t. But I can’t help myself.

Other people regularly handle much more severe spankings without even a whimper. It’s become important to me to be able to accept a severe spanking without squirming away. Mrs. Lion will not put up with too much of my escape attempts and complaints; at least I hope she won’t.  I just have no idea how to do better in this area and it frustrates me.


  1. Author

    It seems to me that you’re of the “thuddy” persuasion, rather than the “stingy”, at least if you’re similar to the demo model I have to work with (my wife). (Yes, I’m the one that’s locked up – that’s my kink – but she loves being tied up, and getting a good whacking as well.)

    She loves the feel of a good heavy implement, so we’ve amassed quite a collection. Among the favorites are a truckers tire thumper we picked up at a truck stop, and an 18″ length of 0000 copper wire I nicked from the cut-offs at a job site (it weighs about two pounds, and is pure thud).

    Conversely, she detests things like paddles, precisely because of the sharp sting they give. We have a couple by Compass Rose (www.compassrosecreations.com) that are really especially nice, and somehow have a very special feel; with those, I can run the gamut from thumpy to full sting with tremendous control, so I can truly play what the wife is feeling with great and immediate effect: build up a nice thumpy rhythm, then pop in a surprise thwack or two (or seventeen).

    Canes are also a useful gadget. They can be very intimidating, but in fact a good one gives the top so much control, and I find that I can easily keep a bottom building for a long time (probably hours, but my wrist muscles don’t last that long). Somehow doing an extended caning session, most of it below the lasting marks level, but with a several good whacks thrown in, lets the bottom settle in, forget their cares, and go floating away. This really starts to happen after at least twenty minutes or half an hour, so it’s important for the top to find a comfortable position, and use a cane he/she likes and that feels good in the hand.

    Floggers are another wonderful device, and the book “Flogging”, by Joseph Bean, is a fantastic and highly practical treatment of the subject (five stars everywhere I looked). The downside of flogging for the lion’s den, though, is that they can take a substantial amount of physical effort; I get pretty tired and sweaty just about the time my wife starts really flying…

    I realize that your post was more about the real shift of control to Mrs. Lion than about technicalities, and I’m very happy for you that life seems to be going well for you (after a rather scary and stressful time, it would seem). Perhaps Mrs. Lion could incorporate some other techniques – still challenging, but thuddier – interspersed with the spankings; you might be able to handle the sessions much better then.

    1. Author

      I have a lot of experience with both thud and sting. I prefer thud, but spanking isn’t for my entertainment. I’m preparing a page on impact toys and methods that will publish soon. I love flogging, both giving and getting. Caning is good too. But this isn’t at all about my preferred impact activities. Spanking, as discussed in this post, is for discipline. So, the fact that I absolutely hate being paddled in particular, and sting more generally, makes her choice of techniques perfect for her purposes.

      Over the years when I bottomed, I have received feedback that I am able to take a lot more “in front” than in back; at least when sting is involved. I agree that flogging takes practice and energy. I’m pretty good at it myself. I have some custom floggers that are way too heavy for Mrs. Lion. When we do impact play, as opposed to punishment, she does work with thud much more. Her hands are very thuddy and can get me going if she warms me up first.

  2. Author

    I have no idea how to make things more bearable–pain caused most of us to try and avoid it! Last weekend I received 15 paddles with our new “paddle”. It is an efficient method for sure and she was quite vigorous! She didn’t like my squirming but it was difficult not to. She ended with her strongest smack and my ass knew her displeasure. Still that’s what punishment is meant to be…lol

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