June 2014 (Page 5)

Lion told me about the video he shared in his post. I watched it and decided to try talking to him more while I played with him. I hadn’t decided if I would allow him to come yet, and that was part of what I was telling him as I stroked him. But at a certain point we got our signals crossed and I told him if he didn’t like my talking to him, I could think of a better use for my mouth. He never argues with that logic.

I had pretty much made up my mind that I was going to give him an orgasm, but it wanted to play with him first. I teased the tip. I did long slow thrusts. I did quicker thrusts. All with little breaks in between. None of these would make him come. Or so I thought. I was just about to tell him he could come and I’d be snacking on his semen when it happened. Another ruined orgasm. Crap!

I hadn’t meant to frustrate him. After eight days I really wanted him to have a mind-blowing orgasm. I don’t know why he puts up with my attempts to tease and deny him. Last night I told him he gets in my head when he tells me how well I do it. He builds up my confidence so I think I know what I’m doing. Well, knock it off! Obviously I have more work to do.

Now I have to hope Lion will be ready for his slightly-less-than-mind-blowing orgasm tonight. Even if it does feel good, it won’t be as good as an orgasm after an eight day wait. But I’m sure he will love it anyway.

None of these seem like rules requiring punishment. Perhaps my title should be Mrs Lion’s Wish List.

•  So Lion wants to eat semen. Well, wants is a strong word. But he has eaten it in the past. A few months ago I asked him if he was willing to trade having an orgasm for eating his semen. He agreed. So he has done it before. He is correct. I am fairly selfish with it. But if he wants to do it more often, I think I can accommodate him. However, blow jobs are mine. Anything else is negotiable.

• Lion doesn’t want to make decisions about where/what we eat for dinner. I’ve been trying to do it more often. I reserve the right to ask him to make certain meals at certain times. He is, of course, welcome to make suggestions. I will then act on them or not as I see fit. However, if I am in charge then my decision should be final. We have a standing agreement (I thought) that whenever one of us is having stomach issues we eat a certain meal that is least likely to make us feel worse. Somehow, this procedure works when he isn’t feeling well, but not so much when I’m not feeling well. I am less likely to argue with him when my stomach is attacking so I wind up eating something that either doesn’t help or actually aggravates the situation. No more. I need to be more forceful with my decisions.

• Lion is in charge of the finances. There are a few reasons for that. When I first moved in I didn’t have a job. It seemed ridiculous for me to be in charge of his money. But the major reason is that I am horrible with finances. If he wants to keep a roof over our heads he should be in charge of the money. Over the years we’ve tended to keep our money separated. I give him a portion of my paycheck and he makes most of the purchases for the household. I pay a few bills with my remaining money. In little doses, I can manage money because I know a tiny amount has to last me a long time. However, there are problems with this arrangement. It drives Lion crazy that I will not tell him when I have no money left. I also never ask for things. The flip side of this is that Lion will buy things because he wants them. Why is that a problem? Throughout the year I try to come up with ideas for his birthday, our anniversary, etc. and I am usually out of ideas because he’s bought everything he wants. Maybe we need a pool for discretionary spending. Maybe if I knew there was a slush fund I might be more likely to ask for things. Maybe not. But it might keep him from buying his future birthday present before I can.

• There were times when I kept Lion chained to the bed. He had enough lead to get to the bathroom, but not anywhere else in the house. Obviously I can only do that when I’m nearby, but he likes being restrained and it takes little to no work on my part. I’ve been toying with the idea of doing that again. Once we are settled in for the night watching tv he usually doesn’t venture further than the bathroom anyway, but knowing he can’t even if he wants to gives me the power.

Numbers one and four will almost definitely go into effect. Number two is really just a modification of an existing rule. Number three requires negotiations.

(Friday, June 20, 2014) Last night was amazing. Mrs. Lion began the festivities by inserting one of our Njoy butt plugs where the sun don’t shine. It’s been a while since I have had anything nestled in my ass. This is the smaller of the two we own. It has a nice shape for easy insertion and a narrow neck (see photo) that assures it gets locked securely inside. She left it in for about two hours. I had no real problem retaining it that long. With practice, I am sure I can accept a larger plug for a longer time. It felt good to do some anal play again.

Next, she put her painful velcro strap around my flaccid weenie (as she referred to it. For a picture of velcro on my penis, click here). She puts the prickly “hook” side toward my skin. as I get hard the pressure increases and the hooks dig in deeper. Predictably, she began playing with me and I agreeably got hard even though the tight velcro was quite painful. I can’t claim I didn’t like it, my hard penis would immediately show I was lying. She continued playing until all I could think about was finally getting to come (yesterday was my sixth day since my last orgasm). That wasn’t to be. She stopped dangerously close to the point of no return. She gave me a moment to calm down and began again. I don’t know how many times she repeated this. I just know that all of my attention was focused on finally getting to come. That wasn’t to be. She said she decided to let me wait. I asked if making me wait would cause her to lose interest. After all, in her post yesterday she mentioned it might. Sadly, she said that she wouldn’t lose interest. Poor Lion.

I remained wild (no cage) for another two hours while the plug remained firmly embedded in my ass. Finally, she removed the plug and put me back in my temporary cage (my Jail Bird is out being shortened). She had a much easier time putting it on this time. I was glad. It might encourage her to take it off again before my Jail Bird is returned.

It’s now a week since my last orgasm. The combination of waiting this long and the two teasing sessions has made it impossible for me to forget that I really want to come. My grumpiness seems to have passed. I just find myself thinking about how amazingly good it felt when Mrs. Lion was masturbating me and how much I wished she wouldn’t stop. At this point my interest in getting off is greatly increased. I can feel the need all the way into my cage. This, for me, is new. Up until now I have wanted to come, but there was no ache; just a desire to have an orgasm. Now it is a physical presence that insinuates itself into my every waking moment.

I’ve had a fantasy too; one that I’ve had before. In it, Mrs. Lion requires me to eat any semen she allows me to ejaculate. If she lets me come in her mouth, she kisses it back to me. If I am lucky enough to orgasm vaginally, she straddles my face for cleaning. No matter where or how, I end up consuming it. This will mostly remain a fantasy because Mrs. Lion really likes how my semen tastes. I don’t mind. It isn’t that tasty to me and in the moments following my orgasm, the last thing I want to do is have a semen snack.

I think the fantasy is instructive. It isn’t so much that I have a yen for eating semen. I don’t. It’s the last thing in the world I want just after coming. It represents my wish for Mrs. Lion’s control. This particular act has no redeeming sexual value to me. It isn’t hot. I don’t like doing it. That makes it a perfect symbolic representation of my wish for her control. I noticed that this fantasy came back to me each time she teased me this week. After giving it some thought, I think that the reason I am picturing it so vividly is that as time goes by after my last orgasm, I am becoming more and more aware that I am not in control sexually. I can only lie on my back and hope for release, all the while knowing it isn’t going to happen. Mrs. Lion will skillfully tease me by letting me think that my chance has finally come, only to stop just before that magic moment.

So, why think about eating semen? The answer turns out to be pretty obvious. I can’t eat it if I am not permitted to ejaculate. So, in my mind, it’s a sort of a bargain. I get to come and pay for it by consuming the product of my orgasm. Control. Clearly, my mental bargain doesn’t interest Mrs. Lion. She happily teases me and locks me up again.

I have not felt any compulsion to do housework or give Mrs. Lion a pedicure. According to the Internet chastity forums, I should feel an uncontrollable desire to perform beauty treatments and domestic chores. This lion is no more domestic now than before. He’s just massively horny. Of course, I have to admit that I am probably more amenable to requests at this point. I do understand that pleasing Mrs. Lion could be helpful in gaining her sympathy.

Having said that, I  know full well that at this point she is probably willing to get me off if I ask nicely. She, like me, is feeling her way through this longer term orgasm withholding. Given my fantasy and my more rational moments, I realize that it is my hope that I can’t convince her to get me off and that she will make me wait until she decides it is time.

Alternatively, she can plan and announce when I get my next chance to orgasm and then use extending that date as a way to assure my good behavior. That is a pretty common technique. It has value in that I will know if she teases me before my orgasm date, no matter how much I want release I won’t be getting it. That could add an interesting dimension to things.

I really don’t know what, if any change we should make. The only request I have is for Mrs. Lion to send me a powerful message that my desire or need to orgasm will have nothing to do with her decision to finally let me get off. If she wants to use my need as a training tool, that is fine too. I asked for it and I want it. I want it even if I decide I don’t want it. That’s why I am wearing a locked cage.