Plugged, Tugged And Spanked
Last night was most eventful. Mrs. Lion has apparently moved things up a level or two. As she said in her post yesterday, she has no intention of slowing things down on the domestic discipline or enforced chastity fronts. Yesterday was punishment day (every Monday and Thursday). After dinner she had me roll over on my stomach and she used the vicious bloodwood paddle to remind me to remember napkins when I serve weekend breakfast in bed and to avoid spilling water on the counter when I refill our coffee maker. I managed to squirm away a couple of times, but she persisted and now, hours later, my butt still stings. There is no question that this spanking was corrective and not BDSM fun. It hurt like hell. I know, I know, it’s supposed to. But this is really new for me.
A few minutes after the spanking, Mrs. Lion brought out the Njoy butt plug, the smaller one, and with some difficulty shoved it up my ass. It’s been quite a while since I have had anything back there. It hurt going in, but once in, it was good for a couple of hours, then I needed it out. I think it will take some serious practice before anal play will be easier.
Once the plug was out and I had a chance to pee, Mrs. Lion released me from my chastity device and masturbated me to the edge a few times. She told me that she wanted some precum. She got me close enough that I supplied her a little bit. She thanked me for making it for her. I really wanted to come. She told me that it wasn’t time yet. Since I haven’t had a ruined orgasm, I am seriously in need now. It’s been nine days. I know that’s not a lot to the long-termers out there. But it feels like forever to me.
In her post, Mrs. Lion said that part of my problem now is that I need structure. She said that she would provide me with a list of chores and that would help me feel better. I don’t mind doing chores, but I never needed structure. I’m good at finding things to do all by myself. My stress comes from economic uncertainty and a feeling of failure. I know it is natural, but it doesn’t make it any easier. I have to admit that the punishment and the sexual fun helped my spirits considerably. Well, not the punishment itself; I was dreading that. But the fact that Mrs. Lion is monitoring me and correcting me as needed is a big boost for me.
I’m not on an emotional roller coaster. I still feel down about our difficulties. But at least last night I was really aroused and feeling the strong need to come just as Mrs. Lion stopped jerking me off. You’d think that after all this time I would be used to being teased. I don’t think my body lets me. Each time I feel like Charlie Brown running to kick the football that Lucy is holding, knowing full well she will pull it away at the last second. Maybe this time she won’t stop. Maybe she will keep going and let me ejaculate. Nope, not this time. There’s always Wednesday.
It Ain’t Broke
I suppose it would be easy for Lion and I to retreat from chastity and domestic discipline in the face of losing our jobs. We could spiral into depression and not want to move. But I don’t want to do that. First of all, I still have one of my jobs so I still need to get my butt out of the house in the morning. And why would we want to stop doing the one thing that has done us the most good? If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. We need to keep moving forward so at least one thing remains constant. If I suggested unlocking Lion until things get better he could take that to mean I’ve given up on him. I haven’t. I won’t.
What do you think? Leave a comment and start the conversation.
I’m sure it’s boring for him to be home all day. He’s used to some sort of structure. At this point I’m torn between letting him find things to do on his own and making him a list for each day. I feel bad that I’ve been leaving chores for him to do. Laundry was always done on the weekends but the past few weeks I’ve been leaving it for him to do. Sure it fills the hours for him, but at some point am I taking advantage of him? Or am I really just providing him with structure? If I say Monday is laundry day and Tuesday is clean the kitchen day and Wednesday is clean the bathrooms day, etc. is it part of a female led relationship or slavery?
I’m not as structured as Lion so I probably won’t give him set tasks on set days. I think I will continue to give him a task or two each day. Or maybe a list of things that need to be accomplished throughout the week. If he wants to do them all on Monday and take the rest of the week off then so be it. Not that he’s been taking time off. He works on the blog. He cooks almost every day. He’s been doing things around the house whether I ask him to or not. My point is that if I specifically ask him to do something then it becomes a punishable offense if it is not completed. Doing things without being asked might gain him a reward. My other point is that I can’t make him feel like I’m taking advantage of him. I have to find a balance.
No matter what, we are together and not stopping chastity or domestic discipline. He’s stuck with that just like he’s stuck with me. And I know we’re happy to be stuck with each other.
Don’t Forget To Write
As Mrs. Lion mentioned, yesterday we got new floggers. I took a chance ordering them online directly from China. It turns out they are quite nice. Mrs. Lion enjoyed trying them out. They felt good to me, though the little PVC tails stung my cock and balls. It was fun. After our test drive, she edged me quite a few times. She wanted some pre-cum. I was unable to provide her with any. I wonder why that is. She brought me fairly close to orgasm over and over. Yet, no result. On Friday night, she got me within an inch of a ruined orgasm. I produced a stream of pre-cum. We both thought it was another ruined orgasm.
I’m reacting differently to edging. Both Friday and last night, after my lioness brought me close, I thought I was getting soft. There has been a little reduction in intensity. I’m not sure what is happening. It could just be a function of my normal rhythms. I might be the length of my wait. I just feel a somewhat general loss of sensitivity. It isn’t that Mrs. Lion is not doing her job. She is. She is amazing. So the issue, if there is one, is all about me.
It bothered me on Friday. I was sure that I got soft after that unusual stream of pre-cum. But Mrs. Lion said I stayed hard. I seemed to react the expected way and with the expected duration of stimulation. It wasn’t the same to me. It’s only been a week. That’s actually pretty long for me. For months I have had shorter waits. Well, the waits may have been longer, but ruined orgasms restart my sexual clock. Is this something we should expect? I have to admit that I’m feeling a little upset. I should be instantly hard and dying for an orgasm from every touch.
This wait just isn’t that long or unusual. It could be that the stress of being out of work is causing my problem. It doesn’t feel that way, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t the cause. My inclination is to stay quietly in my cage and not risk the lack of arousal I seem to be experiencing. It’s way too easy for Mrs. Lion to blame herself. This is absolutely not her doing. Does it have anything to do with being locked up and not allowed to come? I just don’t think so. It is just me. But the fact remains that I am experiencing a sexual low at a time when I should be rattling the bars of my cage.
Well, I’m not. Since Mrs. Lion has been doing more than her share of teasing me, I shouldn’t be dropping due to the neglect being locked up can cause. I get more sex than I did before being caged. I just don’t get more orgasms. I’m stumped. I have no idea what, if anything, can be done to restore my interest. So, I’ll wait and see what happens next.
It’s not usual for me to write so much about my sexual reactions. I figure that you are way more interested in yours than mine. It also has nothing at all to do with enforced chastity. The cage isn’t coming off because I don’t like sex so much right now. My level of sexual interest has no bearing on anything regarding enforced chastity or FLR. My arrangement doesn’t require me to like it, or for that matter, to like myself. Right now I’m not all that fond of me. I feel like I failed in an important area of my life. Objectively, I do realize that bad things have to happen, but the little kid inside me just doesn’t understand.
Mrs. Lion has been great. She has been giving me a lot of extra hugs and keeps reminding me how important I am to her. But I have a lot of empty hours to fill with old TV shows, reading, and so-far-futile attempts to find work. This is a pretty desolate emotional landscape. Would being unlocked and allowed as much sex as I want, help? I’m sure it wouldn’t. Locked or not, my interest in sex is very low. Ironically, the fact that I am locked and that Mrs. Lion has a commitment to herself that she will tease me at least every other day, keeps sex in my life, even now.
I don’t often write about writing. My posts are a window into me. I’ve never tried to make them a sanitized version of my life. I know some people read them. You do and I am grateful for your indulgence. I’ve observed that my posts receive less feedback than many on other people writing blogs get. I wonder if I am somehow unapproachable. Is there something in my writing that is unworthy of discussion? Am I aloof and unreachable? I suppose all writers sometimes feel disconnected from their readers. But the numbers I am so fond of checking don’t lie: I get less than one comment per post (like the veritable 2.75 children the average couple has). We bloggers read one another’s work. I’m jealous of the great discussions going on in other blogs. This isn’t a shameless attempt to get more comments here. I’m truly puzzled by my inability to generate discussion.
All this is way less interesting to you than the state of my caged penis, I am sure. It isn’t why you stopped by. But the reason I write every day is to share at least one part of my life. This may be like our recent expansion of Mrs. Lion’s power. For some reason I want to share more of me than my sexual adventures. Even if I’m not the cool kid, I want you to know me a little better. I think that my state of mind may shed some light on the sexual stuff. We are complex critters; one part of our lives inevitably bleeds into another.
Here I am very early on Monday morning (3 AM) rewriting my Monday post. It’s silent and I am in my home office surrounded by a thick darkness. There’s just the small light from my desk lamp and the glow of the monitor. I live far from traffic noise and other human habitation. It’s easy to feel isolated here. Mrs. Lion is snoring softly in the bedroom. Our dog is sleeping under my side of our bed. This is the loneliest time of day. I know the company of my dear lioness is just a hug away. She’ll gladly stay up with me if I want.
A few years ago, my knee was infected. I had fallen and just scraped it, but a staph infection moved in. Weeks later my knee blew up like a balloon. A trip to the ER turned into being admitted to the hospital. I was in a fog of pain meds for over a week there. Mrs. Lion was with me every waking hour. She sat silently in my hospital room with me. Day after day, she was there. I felt safe because I knew she wouldn’t let anything bad happen to me. No one, not even my parents had ever cared enough about me to so something like that. I am telling you this because I want you to know that I may be sad but I am not alone or lonely. I am truly loved.
This is something I want you to know. My lioness has learned to do all the stuff a good keyholder and FLR wife should do. She is becoming increasingly strict (in a very loving way) with me. Tonight I will get a very painful spanking for my transgressions the last few days. Is it right to spank someone who is already hurting? She has wondered that. I told her that it is even more important now. That pain is not only teaching me to be more careful about executing my chores. It is also an unmistakable reminder that I am loved. I suspect that those of us who want to be in a Female Led Relationship (FLR) do so because it makes us feel loved.
Even at 3am with much going on that brings me down, I am fortunate enough to have someone in the next room who loves me enough to lose sleep just to help me feel better. I am also fortunate that you have taken the time to read about something completely off topic. Even now when I am having all these 3am thoughts, I have to smile at my good fortune. I think about the last line in the Gene Wilder version of Willie Wonka:
Wonka (to Charlie while riding up in the “Wonkavator”): Do you know what happened to the little boy who got everything he ever wanted?
Charlie: What?
Wonka: He lived happily ever after.
I feel better. I’m going to try to get a little sleep. Don’t forget to write.
New Toys
I’d forgotten that Lion ordered some new floggers from China. I mentioned I was searching for smaller floggers that I could control more easily. My pet took up the task and yesterday they arrived.
They are not very mean, but they are essentially what I was looking for. The smallest, which Lion said just came along with the set, is a perfect ball flogger. It’s a pocket flogger, although when Lion’s balls are available I usually don’t have any pockets on. It appears to be made of vinyl strips so it stings a lot. The next size up has suede tails. Its handle is fairly heavy and out of proportion to its size but it will be able to deliver a decent blow. The larger one has tails similar to the drawstring of a hooded sweatshirt. It feels a little more thuddy than the other two. It’s a nice addition to my arsenal.
None of these were meant as punishment devices. I do all Lion’s punishment swats with either the rosewood paddle or a wooden spoon. I was looking for a shorter flogger so I didn’t wind up wrapping around the side. I wanted to concentrate the swats in a specific area and the larger floggers weren’t working well for me. Not to say that I won’t use them ever. I just wanted alternatives. It’s similar to my reasoning for using a crop instead of a paddle when I want most of the blows to land in a tiny area on Lion’s butt. The added advantage to both a crop and a flogger is the whooshing sound they make before contact. I don’t know if Lion hears it, but it’s a very nice sound.
Obviously I had to try out the floggers last night. I didn’t do a long session. I just wanted to see if they did what they were supposed to do. Lion verified that they weren’t very mean and that the little one was, in fact, a nasty way to treat his balls and his cock for that matter. Eureka! While I may still need a heavier flogger to prove a point, these are a step in the right direction.
