By:
In: Lion's Journal, Punishment, Spanking
spanked lion
This was the result of one the most severe play spankings I’ve received. I only felt it for a few hours. Generally, a spanking looks much worse than it really is. Bruises and white areas are a good sign the message has been sent.

My early research led me to believe that disciplinary spankings start hard and stay hard from beginning to end with no regard for how much they hurt. Disciplinary spankings are supposed to hurt. That’s the entire point. Right? Well, yes but there may be more to it than that.

Let me be clear. A disciplinary spanking should hurt a lot. It’s purpose is to deter future misbehavior. My reading of DD and spanking blogs appeared to reinforce the idea that a spanking should start and stay with hard swats from beginning to end. But then as I learned more, including contact from some disciplinary wives,  I find this concept isn’t exactly right.

My spankings are generally very brief with less than ten hard swats. Mrs. Lion starts full force and every few seconds lands a swat. This brief-but-violent technique is very painful, but not memorable. The small number of swats doesn’t provide enough damage to hurt  for more than a half hour or so.

My original thoughts on this matter were based on the idea of separating play spankings from punishment. Mrs. Lion has been play spanking me for years. She starts off with her hand and slowly builds intensity, changing to paddles after I’ve had a chance to generate enough endorphins to tolerate more intense stimulation. So, if I am to understand the difference between play and punishment, I figured that the disciplinary spanking should have no warmup. That would make the difference crystal clear to me.

It’s a nice idea, but it flies in the face of my physiology. If I were tied down, then starting hard and going on for a long time would be possible. It would make me miserable and I would fight to escape. I know because we tried that during a play session years ago. It was unbearable agony. Mrs. Lion stopped just before I started to cry.

I don’t think that tears are inappropriate during a punishment spanking, but there is a different, more humane way to get there. If the objective is to deter a behavior, then the punishment should provide sufficient discomfort to make a strong impression. There are many ways to achieve this result.

If the results of a spanking are felt for an extended time, it provides a lasting incentive to behave. My current pain is severe, but of very short duration. I suggest that a much longer duration of discomfort provides a stronger object lesson. In order for that to happen to me, I have to tolerate the spanking so that it can go on long enough to make sitting difficult for days.

My newest thinking is that a punishment spanking should include a warmup. I’ve read of one woman who does a warmup until her bottom is able to handle hard swats. Then she stops and reminds him of his transgression then says, “Now we will begin your punishment.” She then goes on in earnest. He’s ready to accept her rapid, hard blows because she took the time to let his endorphins catch up.

Just because he is able to hold still for more doesn’t mean he isn’t feeling anything. Quite the contrary. He will feel the swats, perhaps even cry. But he is able to handle the punishment and only minimally squirm and kick. He will scream and complain, but he is inside his ability to handle the swats.

The disciplinary wife has to be sensitive to how her male is reacting, even during the punishment phase. He will need her to start with less severe swats and be allowed to tolerate what’s coming later. The objective of this spanking isn’t immediate reaction. It’s a deep red color with bruising. It will provide lasting pain that will reinforce the lesson he has to learn.

The rear end, particularly mine, heals very quickly. A bruised bottom isn’t dangerous or the sign of abuse. It’s the objective of a spanking. If sitting is uncomfortable for at least 24 hours after the spanking, it has been successful. It may take a number of spankings to get to this point. Remember, the objective isn’t to over stress your male. It’s to provide sufficient discomfort to remind him to behave, at least for a while.

This may not be true or apply to you or your DD relationship. It’s only my current thinking and I haven’t yet experienced it. I do know that a lot of people want play spankings to end this way. I never did. But I do want my disciplinary spankings to be this severe. I want to be able to tolerate the pain. I know this takes a warmup and the ability to give feedback (Yellow and Red). If Mrs. Lion takes this approach (that includes maintenance spankings), we’ll both let you know how it works.

By:
In: Punishment, Spanking

It seems to me that punishment spankings should be shorter than play spankings. Maybe that’s obvious. Maybe not. If you read accounts online, it seems like a punishment spanking can reach 100 swats with the spankee’s butt being purple and too sore to sit on for days. If any of the internet accounts are to be believed. I suppose it’s possible some are accurate.

When I swat Lion as punishment, I don’t think I’ve ever gone over twelve swats. I know I should do more, but for the most part, he doesn’t seem able to handle it. Lately, he rolls over after four swats. The point is, these are hard swats right off the bat. There’s no warm up. It’s punishment. There usually isn’t a warning shot.

With play, of course, you start out slow. Let him get used to the feel of being spanked. Maybe start out with your hand. Give a few rubs now and then. Build up gradually to the punishment sized swats. It’s quite possible he’ll wind up with some bruising and it may be hard to sit for a while.

Even if the accounts of purple butts and not being able to sit are true, it’s not what I’m going for. Lion may have other ideas, but I don’t want to hurt him that much. If he wants me to go further, then we have a problem. I thought the purpose of punishment was to make him not want to do whatever it is he did. Since he’s only spilling food or interrupting me, he doesn’t need a purple butt. It’s not like he killed anyone. It’s true, I could swat harder. I could do more swats. There’s plenty of real estate between what I do and a purple butt.

We both need to work on it. I can’t really tie Lion down at this point because of his shoulder. He’ll have to learn to stay still on his own. Besides, if he can’t stay still for the paltry punishment I’m giving him now, how could he ever stay still for a purple butt?

[Lion — This is a subject that comes up fairly often. Since we do play spankings, there needs to be a way I know this isn’t for fun. The spanking blogs by people I know are for real (“Strict Julie Spanks” and “A Spanking Marriage“) advocate, long severe spankings. As Julie pointed out, she allows her husband some input to moderate intensity. From my perspective, spanking is learned at both ends of the paddle. Severity is decided by Mrs. Lion. I would suggest that a longer spanking is required for repeat offenses. The point of spanking is, as she says, to stop me from repeating undesired behavior. How much of a spanking is needed to do this is learned by increasing intensity if I repeat an offense.]

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Spanking

safeword cartoonThe other day, Julie, the blogger who writes Strict Julie Spanks, one of the most popular sexually-oriented blogs in the world, left a comment to Mrs. Lion’s “Sore Butt” post. I love Julie’s blog. It’s always sexy and fun to read. There’s a link to her latest post on the right side of all our pages. I am honored she reads the Journal.

Mrs. Lion wrote about my inability to accept as many swats as she considers appropriate for my punishment. Julie is famous for her extremely “complete” spankings. Her husband is deep red and bruised when she completes her work.  Her husband wants to be spanked, probably in the same sense I do. It seems like a hot idea until a few strokes into the beating, the pain makes it clear the spanking isn’t going to be either hot or fun.

Mrs. Lion spanks me with mean paddles wielded with butt-bruising force. Julie does at well. There is a difference between her marriage and ours: her spankings are part of BDSM play. Mrs. Lion’s are punishment as part of domestic discipline. However, that distinction isn’t very big in the heat of a spanking. There is the simple logistic of keeping me in place until the spanking is done.

Julie offered some very solid thoughts on how:

“I prefer the “Yellow” and “Red” safewords to these random whiny complaints of his. If he really wants it to stop then it’s Red and everything stops. If he wants to tell you that you are exceeding his limits, he may say Yellow. I always made it a game to get him to say Yellow, then back off a bit, and then get him to say Yellow again, and so on. Great way to test his limits. But there should be punishment for him saying Red when he is uninjured, perhaps a week without Domming, then two next time, and so on.”

The concept is brilliant. While you may argue that a punishment should provide no input by the spankee, the reality is that the kind of beating that Julie and Mrs. Lion favor is at the very edge of my ability to control myself. Yes, Mrs. Lion could gag me and tie me down before beating me. That sort of idea is best in fantasy. The reality is emotional and physical trauma.

Even though it smacks of BDSM, the fact is that I have to learn how to handle the pain of a serious spanking. Julie’s idea allows me to help manage the intensity at a given moment. Julie then pushes the edge and may hear another “Yellow”. At some point she will be able to dial up the pain without any comment.

Allowing me to moderate the intensity doesn’t change the behavior-changing result of the punishment. It won’t make me want another punishment spanking. It will train me to accept longer and harder spankings. There are two objectives to disciplinary spankings: Create a very painful consequence for misbehavior, and provide a lasting reminder of the punishment. The pain isn’t reduced by my calling, “Yellow”. It just serves to help extend the spanking by keeping each swat within my ability to handle it. The cumulative pain will probably be worse because Mrs. Lion will be able to keep going much longer. I think that’s Julie’s point.

I’ve always believed that there is no place for a safeword in punishment. Calling “Red” is a proper safeword. In BDSM scenes, a safeword is required to deal with issues the top doesn’t see. In our case, the “Red” safeword better have a serious, safety reason for being called. Since we are dealing with punishment, I suggest that calling “Red” results in a repeat of the punishment as soon as the issue is resolved. Red should always result in a replay. Period.

If I call Yellow and the reduced intensity is still too much at the moment, a Red call isn’t needed. I think I should call Yellow again. As Julie says, she prefers Yellow and Red to other whiny complaints. Me too. It’s clear communication of how I am handling the beating. Great suggestion, Julie. Thanks.

 

By:
In: Spanking

It seems to me Lion is trying to tempt fate. His email to me this morning says he is “tropical and unspanked.” I understand the tropical part. I edged him within an inch of his life last night and left him hanging. Well, not hanging. He was pointing straight up at the ceiling. Unspanked is the fate tempter. I know he means a play spanking. With 2.0 peaking her head in though, she sees an opportunity for punishment spanking. Of course, she always does.
It really doesn’t matter what kind of spanking I give him. A play spanking can leave him just as sore. The only difference is that, with a slow build up, he won’t really feel the play spanking until it’s over. Yes, he’ll feel it along the way, but I can hit him as hard as a punishment spanking without it registering as being as hard.
Obviously, he loves play spanking. We haven’t done it in a long time because of his shoulder. I bet we could find a position that doesn’t hurt him. One of the reasons I’ve been cutting punishments short is his shoulder pain. I want him to feel the pain in his butt, not anywhere else. We’ll have to work on that this weekend. Maybe some strategically located pillows will help.
We also have to get our trailer ready for our trip next weekend. Lots to do. Lots to do. We’ll see how exhausted I am since Lion can’t help a lot. I may have to push off any play until next week. That won’t make for a very happy Lion, but we’ll see how it goes.