Punishment v. Play

It seems to me that punishment spankings should be shorter than play spankings. Maybe that’s obvious. Maybe not. If you read accounts online, it seems like a punishment spanking can reach 100 swats with the spankee’s butt being purple and too sore to sit on for days. If any of the internet accounts are to be believed. I suppose it’s possible some are accurate.

When I swat Lion as punishment, I don’t think I’ve ever gone over twelve swats. I know I should do more, but for the most part, he doesn’t seem able to handle it. Lately, he rolls over after four swats. The point is, these are hard swats right off the bat. There’s no warm up. It’s punishment. There usually isn’t a warning shot.

With play, of course, you start out slow. Let him get used to the feel of being spanked. Maybe start out with your hand. Give a few rubs now and then. Build up gradually to the punishment sized swats. It’s quite possible he’ll wind up with some bruising and it may be hard to sit for a while.

Even if the accounts of purple butts and not being able to sit are true, it’s not what I’m going for. Lion may have other ideas, but I don’t want to hurt him that much. If he wants me to go further, then we have a problem. I thought the purpose of punishment was to make him not want to do whatever it is he did. Since he’s only spilling food or interrupting me, he doesn’t need a purple butt. It’s not like he killed anyone. It’s true, I could swat harder. I could do more swats. There’s plenty of real estate between what I do and a purple butt.

We both need to work on it. I can’t really tie Lion down at this point because of his shoulder. He’ll have to learn to stay still on his own. Besides, if he can’t stay still for the paltry punishment I’m giving him now, how could he ever stay still for a purple butt?

[Lion — This is a subject that comes up fairly often. Since we do play spankings, there needs to be a way I know this isn’t for fun. The spanking blogs by people I know are for real (“Strict Julie Spanks” and “A Spanking Marriage“) advocate, long severe spankings. As Julie pointed out, she allows her husband some input to moderate intensity. From my perspective, spanking is learned at both ends of the paddle. Severity is decided by Mrs. Lion. I would suggest that a longer spanking is required for repeat offenses. The point of spanking is, as she says, to stop me from repeating undesired behavior. How much of a spanking is needed to do this is learned by increasing intensity if I repeat an offense.]

1 Comment

  1. Author

    Hi, I’m new here so please tell me if I step out of line etc. and feel free to edit what you don’t want me to post!

    I have been a lifestyle Disciplinarian for around 35 years and a professional one for 17 years. During that time, I have had several ‘regular’ DD relationships and some not-so-formal, i.e. with lifestylers and paying clients who need more than a quick spanking to keep them on an even keel.

    One of my main bugbears is when I see and hear people saying “I can’t wait for my next punishment”. To me, it’s not much of a punishment then, is it?

    I have always said that any CP interaction is play, unless it is a punishment. The ‘best’ sorts of punishment, of course, are those that impact deeply on the psyche of the recipient and these are invariably based on true (real-life) misdemeanours.

    At the beginning of any relationship I take note of what the recipient likes, what they dislike and what they run away from screaming. All of my relationships, no matter what the underlying requirements, are based on reward and punishment. If a submissive (for want of a better term) does well, they get something they are happy to receive – maintenance spankings, canings, etc. are, after all, an essential part of a well-balanced mindset. This can be dealt with in whatever way works for both parties.

    Punishments, however, are a different kettle of fish all together and my submissives will do almost anything to avoid one.There are several reasons for this:

    The main reason is that they have let me down; they have failed in some way. Sound familiar? But have you also considered that, in many cases, if I have to punish a submissive, I have failed them also? Perhaps I did not ensure they fully understood what was required of them; or maybe I wasn’t paying close enough attention to a situation and they felt they had no recourse other than to disobey, etc.

    A formal Punishment will commence with me notifying the submissive that they are to attend my premises at a set date and time. I ensure they know exactly why they are to be punished and direct them to prepare their defence.

    When they arrive, they find me ‘detached’ – cold and clinical. There is no welcome hug; they are sent directly to my play room and told to strip.

    They then stand in front of my lectern while I ‘discuss’ their offence with them. Everything is written down and kept in their records, so I have a note of any mitigating circumstances; anything that needs to be taken into consideration.

    There are some key phrases that can really bring the message home, for example… “Are you proud of yourself? No? then how can anyone else be proud of you?” and “You have let me down, you have let *** down, but what is even worse is that you have let yourself down” or I am most seriously disappointed” which is usually enough to make them crumble.

    By the time I have delivered a full scolding,they are in absolutely no doubt as to the seriousness of the matter. I finish by relaying my Punishment Ethos –

    “Punishment, to be truly effective, must leave an indelible imprint on the miscreant producing repentance, remorse and a genuine desire to be better behaved in the future”.

    They then assume the position and the promised punishment is carried out in full (very important to know beforehand what your submissive can take and what the most effective implement will be – something they hate, dread or fear usually gives the best results). The idea is that they will never want to go through this with all the feelings and emotions it evokes ever again.

    Afterwards, once they have come round (from subspace, not unconsciousness!) we hug and I tell them they took their punishment well. A line is then drawn under the issue and we move forward.

    I feel it is important to note that not all punishments have to be physical; sometimes ‘alternative’ punishments can be more effective. For instance, you may decide they will have to miss that football game they have been looking forward to as they have been set extra chores to do instead. Perhaps the submissive’s worst nightmare would be to have to sit at a table and write lines. Maybe you feel they need a time out, away from any distractions (including their phone, tablet, etc!) to give them time to reflect on their actions and the consequences they will endure should they fail to learn their lesson.

    One thing I would say is that as someone who delivers Judicial-level canings on people who then go back to work or go to the gym, this “spanking so you can’t sit down” is a myth. It’s a threat that parents gave to youngsters who didn’t know any different. I can assure you it is most definitely not the case, although sitting CAN be quite uncomfortable, depending on what implements have been used, the severity and number of impacts, etc.

    So you’ve heard the saying “She can talk for England”, right? Well, now you know how it came about!

    In summary, I have to say that the mindset is far more important than the actual punishment. However, punishments should be just that and should leave a lasting impact on their minds as well as their backsides. Short, sharp, but severe… and completely different to how you would normally interact is the key for me.

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