Spanking (Page 113)

There is a longstanding debate over whether non-religious domestic discipline is or isn’t a game. I’ve gone both ways over the years. There are some powerful arguments that it is a game. All spanking and other punishments are consensual. Mrs. Lion has my permission to punish me as needed. Giving consent also implies being able to retract it. This means I want to be punished. In our marriage, at least up to now, punishment is spanking. This can change at any time. Mrs. Lion can punish me any way she wants.

I asked her what domestic discipline is to her. She took some time to answer. Her response surprised me. She said that she considers it a game. She catches me breaking a rule and punishes me. The reason she has a problem punishing me for interrupting or otherwise annoying her is that it goes beyond the pale of her game of “Catch and Spank.” She genuinely enjoys catching me breaking a rule, like not setting up the coffee pot.

She says that spanking me isn’t fun. It’s something she doesn’t mind doing but isn’t necessarily fun for her.  I think she realizes that the consequences of being caught have to be real and painful in this game. Mrs. Lion is excellent at delivering a painful spanking. We do differ on how to approach intensity.

the great spanking experiment

A while ago, Mrs. Lion embarked on an experiment. She spanked me every couple of days to test technique and to teach me to hold still for painful swats. Each session was 300 swats delivered in groups of ten. She would hit one spot ten times and then repeat in the same place on the other side of my bottom. This would continue until she had completed 300.

Each session started with fairly gentle swats and would get harder and more painful as she progressed. By the end of her experiment, I had bruises that were sore for a couple of days after the spanking. At the time, we agreed that this was the perfect level of spanking for a punishment. Ironically, after the experiments, my punishment spankings rarely rose to this level. More recently, she has added very hard single swats at the end of a spanking. These swats, if hard enough, should leave marks and memorable sore spots. This is an excellent addition, in my opinion.

My recent spankings are far milder and shorter. Mrs. Lion has noted that I seem wimpier. She says I’m out of practice. Whose fault is that? Anyway, the last opinion she should want during a spanking is mine. The more I want it to end, the better she is doing. Maybe we need to revisit my consent. I’ve asked her for these painful spankings. Apparently, I need them for many reasons.

sexual fuel

They are sexual fuel for my inner fire. They also make me feel loved and possessed by my lioness. Punishments also train me. One reason I get fewer spankings is that I’ve learned to follow my rules better. It’s almost self-defeating in the sense of earning needed spankings. I suppose Mrs. Lion needs to create more easier-to-break rules. I hope she does shortly.

I realize it is difficult for her to maintain a certain “quality” of spanking. During the experiments, she set a 300-swat minimum. Maybe something like that would work for routine spankings. Maybe I need to be pushed until my reactions change. All I know is that the current trend is to milder punishments. I know I will regret saying this, but I need spankings to be more intense.

Mrs. Lion refers to play spankings. A broken rule doesn’t provoke these spankings. They are administered as BDSM play. Mrs. Lion reasons that I should “enjoy” play spankings and dread punishment. I’ve come to think that a spanking is a spanking. The only difference between a “play” spanking and punishment is that there is a specific lesson to be learned from a punishment. Play spankings are given “just because.”

Our earlier reasoning was that  BDSM spankings were fun. To make them fun, Mrs. Lion would be much slower intensifying swats.  That made sense. I don’t think we considered why I wanted them in the first place. Being spanked with or without a specific reason sends a powerful message to me. I am submitting. Mrs. Lion is possessing me, graphically demonstrating to both of us that I’m hers. Perhaps the only difference between punishment and “play” is that one instructs and the other reassures.

The domestic discipline game is more than a surrender to domestic authority. It’s also recognition that regular, even frequent application of the paddle provides a kind of connection between us. It’s a sign of love and caring. That part tends to go unspoken. Perhaps it’s the best reason to apply the paddle diligently.

the disciplinary wives club

A group of men fondly remember and still follow the teachings of the Disciplinary Wives Club. This was a website advocating strong and frequent spanking of husbands. It appealed to me because it focused on helping women become effective spankers. It also advocated the frequent application of the paddle. A strong theme was that strong discipline was an expression of love. This message reached a lot of men.

There is a correlation between male chastity and domestic discipline. Both are initiated by the men wishing to receive. Both are misrepresented when presented to wives and other partners. We tell our wives what we want in terms of how we imagine the game should be played. Wouldn’t it be better if we presented it in terms of what playing means to us?

As Mrs. Lion wrote in her post yesterday, she finally gave me the spanking I was owed. She did an excellent job reporting it. I didn’t end up with any bruises. It was painful and unpleasant. I know, I know, that’s the idea. I got the message loud and clear. Mrs. Lion got a comment to an earlier post from Lisa Stone,

“Everything revolves around Lion’s ass in one way or another.“

That sounds odd at first glance, but it’s essentially true. Our activities used to center around my penis. It was all about orgasm denial, male chastity hardware, and CBT. Over time the focus seems to have moved to my ass. It is the principal conduit for Mrs. Lion to express her displeasure. BDSM activities involve anal training. I suppose that in terms of time spent on my body, the penis still wins out.  In terms of intensity, my ass is clearly the winner.

Without planning it, we have a sort of heads-you-win-tails-you-lose process. It’s fun and games when I am on my back and discomfort and retribution when my ass is in the air. I don’t think we ever considered this before; at least I haven’t. It’s actually very sensible. There’s one inconsistency: Mrs. Lion will sexually stimulate me on nights that I am spanked. I get both the ass pain and the penis fun on the same nights. As Mrs. Lion wrote, I have a bit of trouble processing the punishment and getting ready for sex. She’s right. I think it might be better to restrict activities to one side of me or the other, at least when punishment is involved.

Speaking of punishment, I know many people don’t understand why either of us would want domestic discipline. Even though I wanted it, and we did it, I hesitated using that label. I called it Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD). It was a way of avoiding the harsher sounding label of domestic discipline. I finally realized that it was silly to avoid it.

Mrs. Lion still struggles with punishing me for more than a few minimal rules she set up for me a long time ago. I’m not saying I don’t deserve to be punished if I forget a chore. I do. There are almost certainly other, more serious offenses that go unpunished. She hesitates to include them.

For my part, I’ve come to see her willingness to discipline me as a sign of her love. Maybe our reader put her finger on a more profound truth than she imagined. Maybe my ass is a very significant conduit for feeling Mrs. Lion’s love.

We had a quiet Sunday. I did more writing. I’m working on my second book in the Les Peters series. Click here for a free preview of the first one, Fan Mail. If you’ve read it, please leave a review on Amazon. Anyway, Mrs. Lion didn’t spank me. I know it’s coming when she gets around to it. I know why I’m getting it. Believe me. I’ve been very careful to get the coffeepot set up before morning. In a way, the threat of a spanking made me more careful. However, if Mrs. Lion doesn’t eventually punish me, I could lose some fear of retribution.

In all of the time we have had a disciplinary relationship, I haven’t purposely broken a rule to get spanked. That’s cheating as far as I’m concerned. Within the last few months, I haven’t earned more than a handful of spankings. That’s good news in the sense that Mrs. Lion is satisfied with my behavior. It’s bad news because a certain amount of spanking is sexually good for me. It’s probably good for me in other ways as well.

I think it’s interesting that Mrs. Lion and I write very differently about discipline. You would expect us to have different perspectives. We agree that it is necessary and that spanking is the preferred method of administering it. Beyond that, we seem to be on different planets. If we had our own blog and didn’t reveal our connection, I doubt you would realize that we are together.

I see punishment as a necessary part of our marriage. It’s a physical connection that empowers Mrs. Lion and helps me improve. I also find it sexually arousing to think about being spanked. Mrs. Lion writes about spanking as something she does because I want it. I don’t remember her saying that it has value beyond being something I want.

She is reluctant to discuss this subject in any depth. She shares descriptions of what she does and what I did to earn it.  Likely, it isn’t particularly important to her. It doesn’t have to be. It is important to me. It could be that punishing me isn’t of great value to her, and that’s why we have no new rules. There’s nothing I can do about that. Based on our experience, more disciplinary activity would be good for us both.