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In: Punishment, Rules

Last night was date night. We saw a musical that Lion likes. It occurred to me, as it has in the past, that the reasons I don’t like musicals are that I’d rather have someone just tell me a story rather than singing it to me; and I keep hoping the next scene will grab me, and it just never does. This is not true of all musicals. I can remember at least two that were a pleasant surprise, but 90% are a bust from my point of view. I go because Lion likes to go and, other than several years ago when we went to 20-something musicals, symphonies, and operas in one year, he asks to go to far fewer than he used to.

Date night also meant no play for Lion. Between the cage and training collar, Lion was very fidgety in his uncomfortable seat. He kept getting pinched and squished. And I had nothing to do with it!

We also discussed the need for me to punish him for random things that bother me without a warning. Since he was driving at the time, I gave the example of him cutting someone off. To me, that would be the perfect example of something he should be punished for without a warning or without establishing it as a rule. Minding his manners is not just for me and waiters. It should be for other drivers as well. Obviously, sometimes it is unavoidable or necessary to cut someone off. And I’m not with Lion all the time. I can’t police him then and I don’t expect him to self-report it. It’s not a rule. It was an example of an on-the-fly thing that would get him in trouble.

I am now on the hunt again for new rules, and keeping my eyes open for those non-rule infractions. Lion hopes catching him will become second nature for me. My first goal is to catch him more often than I miss. Maybe as often as I miss. Maybe at all. This is a lot of work. Good thing Lion is worth it.

By:
In: Punishment, Rules, Spanking

Lion was gone for a week. Apparently he forgot things while he was away. Like maybe, who’s in charge. He forgot his manners. He forgot his equipment. I’m glad I’m here to remind him.

We went out to get the oil changed in Lion’s car. Then we went to lunch. During lunch, my son called. Before I answered, I told Lion who it was. He didn’t hear me. Let me say that my voice is still somewhat raspy from time to time, although it is showing signs of going back to normal, and Lion either hasn’t really been listening or he really can’t hear me. He didn’t know who was on the phone until I was off.

My son is in the army. He’s a sergeant. He knows a little bit about the ins and outs of army life. Lion has never been in the army. When I recounted my conversation, Lion asked for clarification of a few things and then told me the correct way for my son to proceed. It was the only way for things to be done. As we talked, he seemed to listen less and less to me, and more and more to himself. Then he interrupted me. I told him he earned a punishment right there for interrupting. He didn’t like that idea at all. Too bad! (We always get into heated discussions when it comes to what my son should or shouldn’t do. In the army, there is very little wiggle room. You follow orders. You have little input on how something should be done.) So when we got home and he was in his uniform, I told him to roll over and gave him a good bunch of whacks. I knew they hurt and he thanked me for them.

Later on, we went out to dinner. Along the way, we saw a sign about a restaurant that’s coming to the area. It didn’t sound familiar so I decided to look it up when we got to our restaurant. As soon as my phone was in my hand, I saw Lion wince. I checked the training collar app. What a surprise! Lion had forgotten to wear it. He’d remembered it on our previous trip out of the house. He even asked me if I had my phone that time. He wanted me to check up on him. Not this time. He was sans collar. More punishment for Lion. This is the first time I’ve ever punished him twice in one day.

When I was done with the swats, he said he thought it would be much worse. I was concerned about too many swats on an already sore butt. The intensity was the same. I just didn’t hit as many times as I would have, had this been a one punishment day. Live and learn. Next time I won’t take it so easy on him.

In the future, I have two choices. I can not tell him about any conversation with my son, or I can stop him before he gets started on the I-know-what’s-best train of thought. Maybe I can ward off the interruption that way. I guess Lion has two choices, too. He can interrupt me or not interrupt me.

Remembering the training collar is another matter. For now, he’s decided to wear it all the time except when peeing or showering. That way he can’t possibly forget it. As long as it’s not in my way, I don’t mind that tactic. As for the rule, he still only has to wear it when we’re out.

By:
In: Rules

Lion will be home in a little over a day. We have a lot to do when he gets home. I’ve instituted two new rules in his absence. We’ll have to discuss them both. The rule that is similar to his interrupting rule is pretty self-explanatory. If he interrupts what I’m doing (as opposed to when I’m talking) because he thinks what he’s doing is more important, he gets punished. I’m the one who has to be aware of that one so I can alert him. Of course, if he’s aware of it, then he can stop himself. The other rule requires more thought.

We both need to lose weight. For a long time, we’ve said this. Lion did lose some weight, but he’s gaining some of it back. I’ve recently been losing weight and I need to keep going. We need to band together and figure out a plan. Lion’s butt depends on it. Whatever ultimate goal we set will have to be broken down into weekly or biweekly goals. If Lion doesn’t hit his goal, I’ll hit his tush. Simple!

What’s not simple, of course, is how to get to those goals. Diet is certainly on the top of the list. I have to stop eating crap. My Pepsi addiction? Gone. Absently snacking on junk food? Gone. And they really are gone. At least for now. What we need to work on is what we can eat. Paleo, Atkins, Mediterranean. All good choices. We just have to figure out which one. Or maybe none of the above. Maybe a combination.

The other thing we need to plan is exercise. Lion has a gym at work. He does better with a personal trainer. I don’t like the idea of having someone yell at me. It may work, but I’m more likely to fire them or quit exercising altogether. I need to figure out how to motivate myself.

Normally, I’m not as gung ho about new rules as I am about the weight loss one. Maybe it’s because our lives depend on it. Carrying around extra weight, especially when you’re older, takes a toll on your body. We can’t control a lot of things, but we can control how much we weigh. I have the means to control Lion. I’m hoping he’ll drag me along on his weight loss journey.

By:
In: Rules

I received a suggestion from someone who will remain nameless, but his name starts with L and ends with n. We both need to lose weight and he suggested I should punish him if his weight does not go down. I’m not sure what the parameters will be. It’s difficult to say he needs to lose 5 pounds a week, for example. At some point, there will be a plateau. There always is. I don’t know if he’ll get swats if he eats a cookie. That seems ridiculous. You need to have built-in cheats in any diet. If I’m faced with never having chocolate again, ever, that diet will fail before it begins.

We have a lot to work out, but we need to, need to lose weight. I’ve lost somewhere around 15-20 pounds in the past few months. It’s difficult to pinpoint because it depends on whose scale you go by and what time of day you measure. Lion has been gaining weight after losing for several months. Health issues for both of us demand that we lose weight.

When Lion first suggested that I could help him lose weight, I thought he meant that since we both need to lose it, we could do the buddy system. It wouldn’t just be him eating rabbit food and me eating steak and potatoes. We’ll both be eating rabbit food. And we can each make sure the other sticks to eating rabbit food.

Then he explained the part about punishing him if he doesn’t lose weight. As I said, there are some parameters that need to be worked out. For example, since you can plateau, maybe he doesn’t get punished the first week this happens. Maybe the punishment happens at the 2 or 3 week mark of not losing weight. I know he doesn’t like grace periods, but it’s pretty hard to lose weight every week. We’ll both slip up. Sometimes it doesn’t matter how little junk you eat or how much you exercise, the weight will stubbornly hang on.

Now we’re really getting into some serious rules here. Maybe we’re moving away from the silly spilling food on his shirt rule (that remains in effect), to something that will change his behavior. That’s progress!