Last night I unlocked Lion to play with him. We talked about the ruined orgasm experiment a bit. He’s convinced it takes the edge off so he’s not as horny as he normally would be. Despite my best efforts by hand and mouth I could not get Mr. Weenie to wake up. That’s not solely because of the ruined orgasms. Lion said he wanted to get excited, but he thinks he’s too preoccupied about being out of work.

This leads us back to the idea that sometimes life interferes with chastity play and domestic discipline. If Lion feels bad about being out of work, why would I punish him for not taking out the trash? (Just an example because I know our trash needs to be taken out. Not that I will punish Lion for not doing it.) On the other hand, maybe feeling my control would lift his spirits. I know the last thing I’d want if I was already feeling bad is to be reminded that I did something wrong. That would be adding insult to injury. You know, your job ends and you walk outside and not only is it raining, but you have a flat tire and a parking ticket. The world is against you. But in Lion’s universe things are sometimes the opposite of my universe. Bizarro for you Superman buffs. Not that he’d want a flat tire and a parking ticket. But he might feel better if he got something he’s been craving and that might just be punishment.

I may be over simplifying things. I may be way off base. I may not know what the hell I’m talking about. That happens frequently. But I’m wondering if he needs more rules and punishment to keep his spirits up. On the other hand, he really liked his reward coupon the other night. So maybe it’s not just punishment. Maybe it’s attention in general. Control in general. And my reaction to him has been backing off to let him sort things out. My support has just been being there for him, which I know he appreciates. But maybe he needs me to be more there. Not in his face necessarily. Just to let him know I’m still paying attention. I see what he does and doesn’t do.

It may take me a while to figure things out, but eventually I get there. I’ve got my eye on you, my pet. And not just on your cute butt.

Lion had a night out with friends last night. He hasn’t done that in a long time. I was home alone with the dog. The other day I said I needed some time to myself. I also said I’d probably be bored. Well, I wasn’t bored, but I did miss Lion. It’s funny how you can take something for granted. Lion is always home. I am always home. If we aren’t home, we are either at work or out together somewhere. When one of us isn’t home, we miss each other. Lion did have fun, but he missed me too. I know. You’re thinking that’s so sweet you’ll just lapse into a sugar coma. Well it is sweet. Lion is sweet.

He reminded me early in the day it was punishment day so he’s off the hook for that. And he changed the bed and washed the sheets. That little trick earned him a Good Lion coupon for an extra play session of his choice. There was nothing on his punishment list so his buns weren’t toasted last night. I told him I could give him a swat because he hadn’t earned any. He said I could if I wanted to. Of course I could. But I was just teasing him. If anything, it’s my fault he didn’t have anything on the list. I must not have been paying attention.

Lion said last night that he thinks the ruined orgasms are helping him endure his sixteen day wait. If that’s true then he won’t mind the few waits coming up that are longer. All I have to do is give him the occasional ruined orgasm and he can breeze right through a month. Or more. I think Lion’s heart just skipped a beat. Well, I won’t make him wait a month. I don’t remember what the longest wait is but it’s not a month. Relax, my pet. Actually, I miss having him tell me how horny he is. Eight more days until the ruined orgasm experiment is over. We can make it, Lion.

Lion tends to jump into things with all four paws. It’s how he runs tasks at work and how he runs tasks at home. I don’t know why it surprises me when he does it, but it always does. When he buys a car he reads the manual so he knows every little detail about it. Then inundates me with those details. Did you know the blah blah is yada yada? Why no! I did not. He’s surprised that I don’t know things about my truck. I know where the fuel goes. I know when I stomp on the little pedal on the right it goes and when I need to stomp on the little pedal on the left it stops. When a light is on on the dashboard it may or may not be a bad thing. And that’s what I need to know. He did the same thing with chastity and he’s doing the it with domestic discipline.

Our dog is still young and she tends to barrel through the house. We call her the bulldozer because if anything is in the way she runs right through it. Lion is like that, except I liken him to a steamroller. When I’m trying to get my feet under me as we try new things, he comes past and just steamrolls me into something else. I’d like to be on solid ground before trying something new. However, since I’m never really comfortable in my ability to do things, I rarely feel like I’m on solid ground.

I know Lion is excited about domestic discipline. I am not. It will take a very long time before I don’t feel ridiculous for nitpicking every mistake he makes. It’s just not a big deal to me if he forgets to take his medicine. I know he needs to take it. I know there may be dire consequences if he misses enough doses. I’m not wishing him ill health. I’m more concerned with why he’s forgetting and how often he forgets. Is it a sign that something is wrong? Is his memory failing or is he just preoccupied? That’s why I pay attention when he forgets. I don’t care about punishing him for it. Similarly, if I give him a list of four things I want him to do and he does three of them I won’t be upset unless that last thing was the most important. How many times have you gone to the store for milk and walked out with everything but milk? It was the one thing you went for. I do that all the time so I’m not in the mindset to punish him for it. So when he tells me he forgot to do something and should he add it to the list, it’s too new for me to care if he adds it to the list or not. For that reason I’ve told him to add everything to the list and I will decide what punishment to give him on punishment day. And then he should probably remind me what days I set as punishment days because I’ve forgotten already.

As you know, I do have sparks of genius when it comes to punishments so I guess it’s just a matter of time until I get in the swing of things. I just need to get my bearings.

Speaking of genius, Lion is on one of his longest waits ever and I have decided to give him his every-other-day ruined orgasm. I edged him a few times last night and then took him just past the edge. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him writhing from a pseudo-orgasm. He said he hates ruined orgasms. Awww. Too bad. Then he told me ruined orgasms take the edge off. Maybe he won’t be so horny at the end of sixteen days. We’ll see, my pet.

Even before I decided to do the ruined orgasm experiment, I told him he can earn a no strings attached bonus orgasm when he gets a job. Last night (before the ruined orgasm) he said he sort of wants to wait the full sixteen days to see how it feels. I told him I could give him a reward coupon for the orgasm so he could have it whenever he wanted. He quickly backpedaled and said he would take the orgasm whenever it was offered. I don’t think he has to worry about seeing how long waits feel. There are a few more out there.

Lion had a very eventful night last night. First of all, it was a newly instituted punishment night. He got four hard swats for forgetting things. They were minor infractions, but since it was the inaugural night I felt I couldn’t let it go. Then, of course, it was orgasm night. But I also surprised him with a reward for completing all of his assigned tasks for the day. I allowed him to choose the method of orgasm. He decided on a blow job. Yum! I guess it pays to be a good Lion.

However, then I changed the date on his orgasm calendar. March 11. A sixteen day wait. Uh oh. He wonders how he will make it that long. I told him he better hope he earns a super deluxe reward of an unrestricted orgasm. I’m not sure what he’ll have to do to earn it, but it will have to be something very good. Of course, I know he can make it. He does too. It’s just a daunting task to stare down the barrel of a fully loaded penis and have no relief in sight.

On the way to work this morning I had yet another mini panic attack that I am not making Lion happy. Of course I know he is happy. But then why would he want to start domestic discipline? Because it’s something he’s wanted to do for a long time. Why isn’t he just happy with chastity? Because he also wants discipline. But what will he want next? No idea. Really. None. What if I can’t do it all? I can only do what I can do. And then I was ok again.

I think domestic discipline will be much harder for me than chastity. Despite Lion’s musings that I am becoming very skilled at things and seem to be embracing them, I don’t care about making Lion wait for an orgasm. True, chastity has brought us closer together. I’m happy about that. I’m not necessarily happy about having a teasing schedule or an orgasm schedule. I understand the purpose of them. Maybe I’m just being impatient. I really don’t care about giving Lion tasks and punishing him if he doesn’t do them. So what if he doesn’t do them? Part of me feels bad when I feel like I do everything around the house (I don’t) and part of me feels bad that I don’t do more. Why should Lion get punished when I forget just as much as he does?

Maybe I have some sort of letdown when he has an orgasm. I think this is just the “normal” side of me coming through. The pre-Lion me. The doubting side. It will pass.