Femdom (Page 4)

Things are quiet in the Lions’ den.  We snuggled Monday night and Mrs. Lion played with my balls. I wasn’t having too much fun though. My allergies have been acting up. I was pretty uncomfortable all evening. Still, it was very nice to snuggle. I love the time we spend together. Of course, that doesn’t make terrific reading.

I’ve noticed that my behavior does change relative to my overall horniness. When it gets past a week, my submissive fantasy engine goes into high gear. My thoughts and posts veer sharply toward kinky submission. Before then, I still appreciate Mrs. Lion’s dominant actions, but I don’t make suggestions or give her reminders. Does that make me a horny-lion submissive?

It could be. We’ve both long suspected that I’m truly not a submissive male. I just like to act like one. Well, that’s not entirely true either. The reality is that I need to bottom. I don’t need to serve or feel inferior. My sexual fantasies are always around me bottoming. There is a big difference between submission and bottoming.

In terms of activities, they are pretty much the same thing. The big difference, I think, is how I feel. I don’t feel that I have to serve. I do like feeling Mrs. Lion’s power. As she can attest, I don’t always like what she does or makes me do. When those panties actually get laid out on the bed for me, I inwardly groan. I find no joy in spending the day in woman’s underwear.

I like the idea that Mrs. Lion punishes me for breaking a rule. I totally hate the actual punishments. As I wrote last week (post), I want her to escalate and really make me feel her power. Of course. at the time I was orgasm-free for over a week, so I was in my horny-paw-in-mouth phase. Now that I am post-orgasmic, I am not revoking my suggestions. They were good. I just don’t particularly enjoy the things that will happen to me.

There’s another thing. If I don’t get to bottom for a while, I lose interest in sex. That’s a clear sign of my need to bottom. Considering all this, it’s clear that my interest in a power exchange is sexually based. I suspect this is true of most of the men who read this blog. It shouldn’t be surprising. Enforced chastity is 100% sexually based. We have lots of different reasons for starting it. But, at the root it’s about being allowed to feel aroused but not being allowed to do anything about it. If you have no interest in sex, a chastity device is superfluous.

Spanking, etc. is similar. Why do we get hard when thinking about being spanked? Why do so many of us start our spankings with an erection? Most of us are quite flaccid by the time it’s done. Being spanked is one of the most common sexual fantasies for both sexes, especially me. Now you know the truth.

You may be wondering about me wearing panties and diapers. Both seem like rather exotic kinks and not necessarily related to enforced male chastity or domestic discipline. Do I have a secret need to be a baby or a woman? Absolutely not! Then why do it? Why write about it?

I’ll give you a hint. If I wanted to wear diapers or panties, Mrs. Lion wouldn’t put me into them. I know what you are thinking. Why did Lion suggest Mrs. Lion use panties and diapers?

Fair question. I want to feel Mrs. Lion’s power. She is in the beginning stages of learning to be dominant with me. She exercises her power in fits and bursts. Her role hasn’t become natural to her. Panty and diaper training are fairly easy to do and affect me as long as I wear them.  It would never have occurred to Mrs. Lion to put me into either.

If you’re a guy, you probably wince when you picture yourself in a wet diaper. I do too. Wearing panties all day probably has a similar effect. Starting to see where this is going?  Let’s consider a scenario. You are put in an adult diaper; actually disposable underwear. That’s what they call grownup pull-ups. When at home, you have to use the diaper to pee. You also have to use it if you are not at work. Sooner or later, you will pee while out shopping or something. You will have to wait until you get home to change it. Not fun. Right? Submissive? For sure!

That’s the point. You are doing something because your partner required you to do it. She can even make you wear it to work. Now, it would be pretty hard for me to change myself and dispose of the used diaper at the office. I could, but that might take things to a level I’m not ready to reach. But I could be required to wear one and pull it down to pee. that works without any serious danger of discovery. The thing is, I can’t not be aware I am in a diaper. I am constantly aware of Mrs. Lion’s power.

It’s not quite the same with panties. I am very aware of them when I am told to put them on or when I am wearing nothing but the panties around the house. But once I have pants on, I am only aware of them when I need to use the bathroom. Then, I am sharply reminded of who’s the boss.

There’s a theme here. I am being made to wear underwear I would never wear on my own. I am being made to wear them all day; sometimes all night too. Discovery would be horribly humiliating. Lots of risk. Oh boy! Exciting and very submissive! It has nothing to do with cross dressing. It’s all about obedience.

The real value of panty or diaper training is that it provides a long-term, humiliating form of domination without much input at all from the dominant partner. Both diapers and panties are inexpensive and humiliating ways to dominate your partner. By the way, even if you don’t have to use it, it’s impossible to forget you are wearing a diaper.

Only you and your partner know that under your clothes you are being secretly dominated. I think that’s a big turn on.

We go home today. This trip has been pretty much like every other one we’ve taken in the past. Yes, I missed my TV. Watching DVD’s is fun, but not the same thing. Like our other trips, we’ve had fun prowling around the area. We both like seeing what’s around the next turn or over that hill over there.

I can’t help with the driving, but then on most trips, Mrs. Lion has the wheel.This tends to tire her out. Worse, she has a cold that tires her more. That’s this trip’s reason for no play. I’m writing this on the morning before you read this. Who knows? Maybe some fun for me tonight.

I don’t think my lioness really likes to do sexual things with me. It’s understandable. The activity is strictly one way. So, it follows that a vacation would be an escape from work. I’m work. It’s probably too much to expect her to actually have fun playing with me. I know from my experience as a top, play is work. The rewards aren’t sexual for her. There may be some emotional rewards, but clearly they aren’t very big.

Mrs. Lion and I represent an extreme end of the continuum of differing sexual interest. Sex in any form is supposed to be reciprocal. Differences in libido generate stress. If the difference in interest is too great, the relationship will suffer.

My introduction of enforced chastity was an attempt to build a sexual bridge across the chasm in our sexual interests. It works when we do it. At least it has up to now. Vacations are the clearest indications of what’s working and what isn’t. We both love the time together and our little adventures. It’s not too surprising that sex for me, at least in the form of play disappears. After all, that is work.

As far as I can tell, the only real solution is to find something that makes sex with me something rewarding for Mrs. Lion. If it was something she really enjoyed, vacation would always include a lot of it. Other couples behave that way.

One reason I like the satellite TV so much is that it fills hours that are essentially empty while we are in our trailer. I wait, hoping Mrs. Lion will decide it’s time for sexual play. Once, maybe twice a trip she does some CBT and jerks me off.

That sounds horrible. It isn’t. I like it. What’s really bothering me is s our lack of sexual connection. I can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt. I know Mrs. Lion will tell me that she will try to do better. I also know she will be thinking of her iPad, Facebook, and games she likes to play. They relax her and make her laugh.

Vacations, as it turns out, can be very instructive. While I’m writing, she’s playing games on her iPad. I wish she would think of playing with me the same way. She looks forward to Facebook and those games. She obviously missed them when she kept her promise to stay out of her iPad. She is clearly happier now.

Maybe this is why I don’t like these trips. Reality smacks me in the face. The artifact of our power exchange is on my dresser at home. I can’t lose myself in the 275 satellite channels. We have some under-bed restraints. We’ve used them twice. I trip over them more than that times a day.

I have no doubt that we’ll do something sexual tonight. We always do after I write a post about missing sex. But take note of how Mrs. Lion writes about it. Look back at former posts. She does a great job of reporting. She lets you know that I had fun. But not once did she say she enjoyed it. Why did it take me this long to realize? I’ve been blinded by my wish that we would both have fun.

You can learn a lot on a vacation.