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In: Domestic discipline

As Mrs. Lion wrote in her post, “Two Rules Broken in Two Days,” I managed to break two simple rules. Both are lapses of attention. The first was when I forgot to close the shower door. This trivial requirement is in place to prevent our dog from wandering around on the wet shower floor and then tracking mud through the house. The second was failing to set up the coffee pot for the next day. I have to get that done by 5 PM the day before.

I know why I forgot the coffee pot. Sunday was our farm maintenance day. This week we had to feed our tomatoes and strawberries. I had to mix food for each of the three hydroponic “farms.” I was engrossed in my agricultural mixology and simply forgot the coffee pot. The shower door was clearly a senior moment. I have no idea why I did that.

There is a longstanding theory that we males have a limited ability to remember to do what we are told. Several disciplinary wives (sorry, I don’t remember which ones) wrote posts saying that their husbands would remember their rules for a few weeks after being spanked for breaking one. They said that their husbands would forget and need a spanking to remind them. I thought this was silly. Why couldn’t grown men remember simple chores? This one can’t.

It’s surprising to me. I guess disciplinary wives need to “remind” their husbands on a regular basis. I agree that there has to be zero tolerance for breaking a rule. Yes, I had an excuse for forgetting to do the coffee pot. Mrs. Lion didn’t think it was a good one. I have to agree. Mrs. Lion remembers to feed me. She stays on top of things. If she gives me a pass, two things happen. First, on some level, I learn that it isn’t very important to do my chore. Mrs. Lion can start feeling resentful that I don’t care enough to do what I should.

If she spanks me every time I miss, there is no resentment because she is letting me know in a very strong way that I displeased her. I am painfully reminded to remember to do what I am told. Is it worth ten or fifteen minutes of painful spanking? Of course, it isn’t. All I had to do was close the shower door. That takes five seconds. Forgetting costs me at least ten minutes of spanking. The math is simple. Even a lion can do it.

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In: Domestic discipline

Sometimes our posts become a kind of conversation. We could simply talk instead of write, but somehow committing things to writing allows for more thoughtful dialogue. I proposed (“Disciplinary Training Wheels “) that Mrs. Lion use the training collar to zap me when I annoy her. She responded (“To Zap Or Not To Zap“) with a very sensible set of reasons why such a simplistic approach isn’t practical. She said that it comes down to fairness.

Her main objection was that if something external was getting on her nerves and I say that I’m hungry, that would annoy her. Other times, she was OK with me letting her know. What should she do? There are more subtle situations that create similar doubts. The big problem is that she will always try to be “fair.” I appreciate that. I also have to recognize that it might make her feel bad if she punishes me for something that isn’t my fault.

This may be the central issue why disciplinary wives have problems punishing their husbands for upsetting them. None of them, Mrs. Lion included, have a second thought about spanking for breaking a rule, no matter how trivial. There may be a way to translate this binary thinking into a useful way to punish for subject offenses. When Mrs.Lion gets annoyed with me, perhaps she should ask herself if she wants to extinguish the behavior I displayed.

When she was irritated at work, and I said that I was hungry, does she want me to stop telling her? If she does, a zap and spanking are in order. If she is OK with me telling her, but just then was a bad time, she might not discipline me. On the other hand, if I tell her that I’m hungry at 11 AM and then tell he again at 11:30, she might want to zap and spank because I was nagging her. Her training goal was to teach me that I shouldn’t tell her more than once. That seems fair to me.

It takes a little extra time and thought to analyze the situation each time I annoy her. It won’t take long for her to react almost instinctively to these situations. Since a zap isn’t a particularly harsh response, she can always change her mind and tell me that it wasn’t my fault. If it was my fault, a spanking will follow later.

This won’t be easy at first. Catching me breaking rules wasn’t either. It didn’t take long for Mrs. Lion to build the habit of looking for my offenses. This new process shouldn’t take long to learn, either. I think it’s important to follow valid zaps with a spanking. It will build the habit of spanking me for upsetting her.

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In: Domestic discipline

One of the main reasons that I asked for domestic discipline was to give Mrs. Lion a stronger voice. As I’ve written in the past, she has trouble calling me out for doing things that upset her. I figured that she could spank me when I upset her. I talked about this in my post, “She Spanks Me Just Because She Wants To.” She still has a very hard time disciplining me for things that upset her.

Last week I began wearing my training collar every day. Mrs. Lion liked the idea because she could send me vibrations when she was thinking of me. I wear this collar around my cock and balls. The vibration/shock receiver nestles under the boys, pressed into my perineum. When she sends a shock, it makes me jump.

On Friday, out of the blue, Mrs.Lion said, “I can shock you if you annoy me.” I agreed that she could. I also said that I hoped it would also lead to a spanking. Silly me. Baby steps. The more I thought about her idea, the more sense it made. She has a hard time deciding if my behavior is to blame or if it is a situation that I only contributed to.

A shock from the training collar is very unpleasant. It only lasts a short time, and there is no residual pain when it stops. It is perfect for getting my attention and letting me know something is wrong. Mrs. Lion can adjust the intensity. Even a zap that makes me jump is harmless. It won’t injure me, no matter how much she uses it.

Mrs. Lion knows that I don’t like being zapped. She also knows that it’s short-lived and harmless. To zap me, all she has to do is tap her phone. There is an app that connects with my collar. If she gets annoyed and is sitting at her desk, she can zap me without moving off her chair. I get punished immediately. That’s a great training aid. If I get zapped every time I annoy her, I will eventually learn to avoid that behavior. My standard punishment remains spanking. Since Mrs. Lion has a hard time using spanking to punish me for annoying her, the training collar is an ideal way to train both of us.

The training collar will train us both. It will train Mrs. Lion to respond with a punishing shock every time I annoy her. Just as catching me spilling food on my shirt or starting to eat before her trained her to spank me when I broke a rule, the training collar will teach her to spot and punish subjective offenses. I’ll bet it won’t take long for her to add spanking to the zap when I annoy her.

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In: BDSM, Domestic discipline

I have been thinking about spanking. Oh, no! You too? I’m being silly. Spanking has been part of my life for over thirty years. Until I met Mrs. Lion, I gave and received spankings as part of BDSM scenes. Sometimes, it was part of foreplay. It was never tied to discipline, even as a pretend scene.

The thought of being spanked turns me on. I think it is a form of sexual vulnerability. That’s an amazing state to be in. From my conversations with others who like BDSM play, as a bottom, we all feel vulnerable. Often, we are physically restrained so we couldn’t escape if we wanted to. That’s really hot to me.

Some people argue that disciplinary spanking is the real basis for BDSM “play” spanking. I disagree. Until several years into my marriage with Mrs. Lion, that thought never crossed my mind. Our play spankings did a good job of setting the stage for domestic discipline, but we weren’t rehearsing. The play was something else.

I wanted disciplinary spankings because being held accountable offered a new dimension of vulnerability. I am spanked because I did something wrong. I have no choice but to accept the punishment. OK, before the legal beagles go nuts, yes, consent is involved. I want to lose the right to avoid punishment. OK? Moving on.

In the beginning, our domestic discipline was more like role-playing than actual punishment. Mrs. Lion made some rules that I was sure to break. If I broke one, she wasn’t affected. They were rules like not being allowed to spill food on my shirt or eating before she starts. They were trivial in one sense, but useful in another. Offenses were easy for her to spot. It was more of a game for her. She didn’t particularly like to spank me, but she knew it was part of the game.

It turned out that taking this light-hearted approach worked. We got used to the routine of our roles. Spanking me stopped bothering Mrs. Lion. She learned to treat it as an activity she wanted to perfect. I learned that I would be punished every time I broke a rule. My spankings became long and painful. The rules might be trivial, but the consequences of breaking them weren’t.

As we evolved, the tone of our domestic discipline changed. The rules covered behavior that mattered to Mrs. Lion. I am to set up the coffee pot for tomorrow’s breakfast before 5 PM every day. That’s obviously important because if I don’t do it, Mrs. Lion has to go to a lot of trouble first thing in the morning when she is sleepy and rushed to get ready for work. The second rule is that I have to make sure the sliding shower door is closed at all times. This is necessary because if it is open, the dog goes in and tracks mud in the wet shower and all over the floor.

These are obviously very useful rules. Breaking one of them has consequences. I’m punished every time I break one. Mrs. Lion prides herself in giving me a sore bottom that will hurt for days after she spanks me. Good workmanship! Sitting here with an unspanked bottom, I can say that I’m proud of her for getting this far. During a spanking, I wonder why I got myself into this.

When I first asked Mrs. Lion to discipline me, I had an important motive. Mrs. Lion is a very generous and accepting person. If I annoy her, she generally lets it slip even though her feelings might have been hurt. Over time, these petty annoyances build up, and she gets very angry. When she does, she won’t yell or let me know in a direct way. She’ll ignore me. That hurts my feelings and doesn’t make her feel better.

I realized that this had to change. I suggested that Mrs. Lion spank me every time I annoy her. She’s found this nearly impossible to do. I still have hope that she can do it eventually. In the meantime, we have “just because” spankings. If Mrs. Lion feels that too much time has gone by since my last spanking, or she feels that I annoyed her and she let it slide, she will give me a “just because” spanking.

When we started these, the thought was that it reset our focus on our domestic discipline. Mrs. Lion and I can start to forget our roles. A just because spanking generally fixes that. More recently, before she starts swatting me, she will tell me that on this or that occasion, I annoyed her. She seems to be using the just because spankings to punish me for upsetting her.

This makes a lot of sense. I think she has a problem with beating me for upsetting her. I think her sense of fairness interferes. She will rationalize that my behavior wasn’t all that bad and that she was just in a bad mood. It seems difficult for her to isolate and punish behavior that annoys her.

I think this is temporary. By using the just because spankings to cover more than resetting our roles, she is building up to punishing me for upsetting her without linking the spanking to a just because event. Speaking of which, it’s been fifteen days since my last spanking. That means a just because spanking is due soon.