BDSM (Page 46)

Mrs. Lion and I wrote our posts at the same time (Sunday morning) because we have no cell service here and have to go to town to upload our posts. After we finished writing, we read each other’s post. We’ve done it again! We both wrote about the same subject without discussing the topic. We just naturally operate on the same wavelength. My post below was written before I had any idea what Mrs. Lion was going to write. After she read this post, she said, “We can try that.” Tune in to Mrs. Lion’s post today to find out what happens next.

We still haven’t played this vacation. I think that we will have better luck at both play and sex if we move it much earlier than bedtime. I can understand why most people do sexual things at bedtime or first thing in the morning. After all, those are the times we wear the least amount of clothing; none in my case. Intimacy is highest at those times.

I don’t think either of us are at our sexual best at those times. My history with BDSM has me playing during prime time (9pm to 1am). That’s because play parties I attended were during those hours. When I think about it, the worst times for me are when I have a full belly or I am tired. I suspect Mrs. Lion feels the same way.

What’s the problem with making play time happen away from first and last thing of the day? Mostly it’s because at those times we have always done other things. Even though I am most likely naked, we have the lifelong habit of filling those hours with non-sexual activities.

We know we can add new things to our daily routines. We are more than three-quarters through our third year of enforced chastity. I think one reason we have been so successful is that we have specific activities we agreed to do almost every day. I’m not suggesting we do BDSM on a daily basis, though if Mrs. Lion wants to, we could. I am suggesting that as a start we agree that every weekend day, including holidays, we play sometime between beakfast and dinner.

I think this will work because once we make an agreement, we do it. For example, every Monday and Thursday is punishment day. If I have done something needing correction, in the early evening after dinner and Mrs. Lion’s shower, the paddle comes out and I am spanked. We always seem to do it at that specific time.

Even though we haven’t discussed it, the regular time helps. So, maybe we should do the same with play. Even if it is juat edging, maybe we need to move it further from bedtime. Maybe BDSM could be on Wednesday evening and Saturday and Sunday afternoons. That doesn’t restrict Mrs. Lion. She can do things any other times as well. But we agree that those three days are no-excuses occasions.

On days when she wants, Mrs. Lion can also substitute BDSM to go, with me wearing a take-out butt plug, diapers, or whatever else she wishes. The point is that play is happening. We aren’t pushing it into the background. Similarly, maybe we could try moving the daily edging away from bedtime as well. Perhaps move it out of the bedroom entirely.

I am unintentionally trained to react to being edged in bed close to sleep time. It might be more interesting to vary that a lot. I have only been edged on my back. If teasing moves out of the bedroom, I might learn to get hard almost anywhere once I have been conditioned to be teased in other settings. Oh my!

There is a significant difference between a keyholder and a caged male. No, not the obvious top/bottom, dom/sub difference. It’s much more profound. Enforced chastity is a 24/7 proposition for the male. My genitals are locked up whether or not my keyholder is present, involved, even thinking about the fact I am caged. That chastity device is my constant companion. It gets in the way when I pee. It occasionally demands I adjust it when it pinches. I can’t forget it’s there. Ever.

My keyholder, Mrs. Lion, on the other hand, only needs to consider enforced chastity when she wants to interact with my penis. In her post yesterday, she talked about the authenticity of her role. She equated herself to an actor playing a doctor in a commercial. “I’m not a real doctor. I play one on TV.” She puts her 2.0 hat on when she wants to play with me or act as my disciplining wife. It seems to make her feel that her role is artificial.

It’s not. It’s a role she assumes with me. It’s no different than her role as my wife; or her role as a worker. She has lots of hats that she metaphorically wears. Disciplining wife or keyholder is just as real as the others. I wear lots of hats too. I’m her husband, a professional, a photographer, a man, and a caged male/disciplined husband. The only hat that I can’t remove is the caged male hat.

I think that my lioness worries a bit too much about what to do with me. We do have a house full of toys she can use. That doesn’t mean she can’t have a problem coming up with an activity she wants to do with me. When I was topping, I often fell into a rut of repeating the same things. It takes less energy to repeat something familiar. For the record, I am not adverse to repeating things.

There is one thing I have learned that made my top hat (see what I did there?) easier to put on: I played not only with different activities, but with intensity. If we have ten paddles, switch up, try the tawse, use the other hand, spank the head of my cock instead of my butt. We have endless butt plugs and dildos. Each is a different challenge for me. You get the idea.

Let’s face it, there are only so many ways to do BDSM play and so many ways to tease and edge me. I do like some variety. When I know that I have no choice and that 2.0 will “train” me to take what she chooses to inflict, I get turned on. While she is actually doing it, I even get aroused with a little help. The key to making my heart go pitty pat is the loss of control.

Taking control from me isn’t easy. I can be scary when pushed hard.  But when my growls do no good,  I get the most excitement. Forcing me to be docile has enormous effect on me. I’m very independent and stubborn by nature. I try my best to help Mrs. Lion top me. I work to avoid resisting. But let’s face it, this lion is not submissive. That makes me a lot more work to handle than one that is. I’m grateful she thinks I am worth the bother.