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In: Sex

Between eating too much and being tired, I didn’t play with Lion last night. It’s not fair to him. I either need to play with him when I get home or delay my shower until after I’ve played with him. I could do some combination of the two. Sometimes he’s snoozing before dinner. Sometimes he’s snoozing after dinner. I’ll have to get to him when he’s not snoozing.

Off and on, I think about giving Lion vaginal sex. He always tells me I don’t have to do it. Of course I don’t. I don’t have to give him hand jobs or blow jobs either. I know he likes vaginal sex. I forget if oral or vaginal is his favorite. Either way, I like to ride him even if it doesn’t do anything for me. Why wouldn’t I change things up from time to time? I don’t want him to get tired of oral sex all the time like he did with hand jobs. Let’s face it, there are only so many ways to have sex. I know, I know. You can spice it up with this or that, but ultimately it’s either oral, hand, vaginal or anal.

For the record, I liked anal. I say it past tense because I like when Lion stands behind me and he hasn’t been able to do that for a long time. He’s been spoiled by being on his back. I was just trying to remember if we’ve ever had missionary sex. I don’t think so. That seems odd to me. You’d think we’d have had regular old vanilla sex at least once over the years. I think we started off with anal and then, once Lion found out I have better orgasms if I’m on top, we did it that way. Of course, oral and hand jobs were thrown in there too. I’m not unhappy with any of it. Well, maybe the lack of anal.

Without realizing it, I trained Lion to be unable to have any sex other than with him on the bottom. I think it was over five years ago that we tried anal. He wasn’t able to maintain an erection while standing. His body must have said, “Nope. This isn’t right. Abort. Abort.” I’m sure the only thing that has changed since then is his balance being worse. I think anal is gone for good. Not the worst thing in the world. If my libido returns, I don’t think I’ll be horny for anal sex. Is it possible to be horny for anal sex?

Lion thought his training began with the chastity device. It’s interesting to realize it began long before that.

[Lion — Maybe I can be trained to use other positions. Mrs. Lion can always “milk” me for teasing (have me on knees and her behind me)]

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In: Mrs Lion Comments

Maybe there really is something to my theory that moving around stirs up the crazy. Yesterday, I lounged for a while before getting up to make breakfast and then I lounged around before getting up to do the breakfast dishes. The crazy seemed to stay away. I was even able to tease Lion last night. He enjoyed himself but, as he said, he would have enjoyed himself more if he’d gotten an orgasm. Poor thing.

This morning, I didn’t have the luxury of lounging around. I was rushing around doing the dishes, giving Lion his eye drops, getting dressed and grabbing something for lunch. By the time I got to work, the crazy had been stirred up. I was ready to go back home and decompress. Of course, it’s not as bad as last week. Maybe a huge part of my recent issue has been lack of sleep. Once I zonked out, things started to get better. Either I was tired and that intensified things or the other way around. Either way, things are a little better now. I just have to stop stirring up the crazy.

Yesterday, Lion and I were hugging and my hand wandered to his buns. He wiggled like he always does. I told him it’s been a while since those buns have been on fire. I don’t have any plans to whomp him. He’s been very well-behaved. He’s even set the new coffee pot up for a few days. He may need a just because spanking so he remembers what a hot butt feels like.

As I said, I was able to edge Lion last night. I was a little uncomfortable but I think that had more to do with his being just slightly in the wrong position than my being achy. Of course, it’s been a while so maybe the achiness was bound to happen. Tonight, I’ll make sure he’s all the way across the bed so I can torture him more. He’s hoping for an orgasm. Maybe I am too. We’ll have to see how nice I am later. It might just be more fun to watch him squirm.

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In: Mrs Lion Comments

I had every intention of playing with Lion early yesterday. I figured I didn’t have to work so I wouldn’t be as tired or achy. Ha! I discovered that I feel okay if I’m not moving around much. I think I stir up the crazy in my blood when I’m up and about doing things. And for some reason, I was exhausted yesterday. It boiled down to not being a question of playing with Lion early. I couldn’t do it at all. He’s been very patient during my meltdown.

Apparently my body just decided it was lights out and I fell asleep before doing Lion’s eye drops. I woke up just as he did the last of them and turned out the lights. I hadn’t brushed my teeth so I went to do that. I figured it was entirely possible that I would wake up completely and not be able to get back to sleep. I needn’t have worried. I was out in no time. I woke up just before 6:30 and decided I could wait for the alarm to go off before I went to pee. The next thing I knew, it was 8 and the dog was staring at me to take her out.

Lion wondered how I feel today. I haven’t done much to stir the crazy up yet. I’m glad I got a lot of sleep. I joked that I don’t take his big cat (Lion, get it?) naps so every once in a while I make up for it with a long snooze. Once I start doing the laundry and other chores, I’m sure I’ll feel a little yucky, but maybe the worst is over. I did take the first dose of the anxiety drug again, but I don’t think that will make me feel better right away. I also don’t think it had anything to do with my sleeping a lot.

My plan is to ease back into normalcy. Let’s see how I feel before I commit to anything specific. If I don’t hurt when I snuggle with him, maybe I can move on to playing with my weenie more seriously. And if that doesn’t kill me, we see about some oral attention. My mind is willing. Let’s see if the body can hold up its end of the bargain.

[Lion — Mrs. Lion also mentioned supervised masturbation. That’s always a possibility in a pinch.]
[Mrs. Lion — Boy! He went from being completely against supervised masturbation to mentioning it every chance he gets.]

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In: Mrs Lion Comments

If I didn’t know better (and I do), I’d say Lion has been gaslighting me. I’m almost positive it has more to do with detoxing, but it’s freaky nonetheless. Case in point, over the past few days, I’ve done the nonspecific pronouns thing at least twice. Each time, Lion says, “This is what I’m talking about.” I admit to these most recent slips. However, I know I used specific pronouns and I was very clear in the conversations about my boss and the coffee pot. How can I be so sure? I went over them in my mind before I ever said a word to Lion. I wanted to be positive I was communicating clearly.

A few weeks ago, after Lion’s last eye drop, I said we were done and I was going to work. He emailed and called me asking if I was mad at him because I left without saying anything. Since then, I am very clear when we’re are done with drops and when I am leaving. This morning, I told him we were done with the drops. He acknowledged me. A little while later he asked if we were done with the drops. Gaslighting. He said he’s getting senile. I said maybe I was too. Either one or both of us are losing their mind. For the past few days, I’ve been sure it’s me. It’s absolutely because of the drug or lack thereof.

Let me be clear. I know Lion isn’t gaslighting me. It just pops into my mind because I wonder if I’ve really done something I’m sure I did. I wonder if Lion thinks I’m doing it to him. What a movie-like twist it would be if we were both doing it to each other. Maybe we can write a screenplay together. Or maybe one of us already has and is testing it out on the other. Muah ha ha. “Criss Cross”. “Gaslighting”. Yup. We’re living this movie. I’m heading out in a few minutes to get my drugs so I can start them today. Let’s see if that helps. [Lion — I must be losing it. This morning I had absolutely no memory that Mrs. Lion finished giving me eye drops. Am I on the way out?]