If I didn’t know better (and I do), I’d say Lion has been gaslighting me. I’m almost positive it has more to do with detoxing, but it’s freaky nonetheless. Case in point, over the past few days, I’ve done the nonspecific pronouns thing at least twice. Each time, Lion says, “This is what I’m talking about.” I admit to these most recent slips. However, I know I used specific pronouns and I was very clear in the conversations about my boss and the coffee pot. How can I be so sure? I went over them in my mind before I ever said a word to Lion. I wanted to be positive I was communicating clearly.

A few weeks ago, after Lion’s last eye drop, I said we were done and I was going to work. He emailed and called me asking if I was mad at him because I left without saying anything. Since then, I am very clear when we’re are done with drops and when I am leaving. This morning, I told him we were done with the drops. He acknowledged me. A little while later he asked if we were done with the drops. Gaslighting. He said he’s getting senile. I said maybe I was too. Either one or both of us are losing their mind. For the past few days, I’ve been sure it’s me. It’s absolutely because of the drug or lack thereof.

Let me be clear. I know Lion isn’t gaslighting me. It just pops into my mind because I wonder if I’ve really done something I’m sure I did. I wonder if Lion thinks I’m doing it to him. What a movie-like twist it would be if we were both doing it to each other. Maybe we can write a screenplay together. Or maybe one of us already has and is testing it out on the other. Muah ha ha. “Criss Cross”. “Gaslighting”. Yup. We’re living this movie. I’m heading out in a few minutes to get my drugs so I can start them today. Let’s see if that helps. [Lion — I must be losing it. This morning I had absolutely no memory that Mrs. Lion finished giving me eye drops. Am I on the way out?]

1 Comment

  1. The best explanation and advice I’ve heard for regarding forgetting little things like whether or not we locked a door, turned off the stove, fed the fish etc is that the brain doesn’t allocate space to trivial, routine events. Most of us simply aren’t built to remember every instance of key turning or whatever, so it discards things it doesn’t think you’ll need to access. The way to combat these events is to do something to make them memorable. If just saying you’re leaving isn’t enough then throw in something else – clap back, do a dance, tell a joke, whatever. I know you can’t do this with every piece of information but it might help with the most important stuff.

Comments are closed.