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In: Punishment

As you might have guessed from Mrs. Lion’s post yesterday, she’s frazzled. Her Job is difficult and highly detail-oriented. Their business software vendor has experienced a serious problem and she hasn’t had access to any of the records she needs for the last week. She’s doing the best she can under very difficult conditions.

She wrote that I didn’t get the coffee ready for Thursday morning. Actually, I did get set up and then we decided on a second pot Wednesday. I never got back to repeat the setup. When Mrs. Lion went to make breakfast, she had to get the pot ready. When she brought the tray in, she said that I wasn’t going to be punished for not setting up the coffee pot. My morning fuzzy brain eventually put the pieces together and I thanked her. Later, after reading her post, I realized that maybe she was being too nice.

She said that I had fulfilled my duty the first time I set up the pot. She had a point. I set it up expecting the next use would be on Thursday morning. Then, after thinking about it a bit, I wondered if maybe she was being too kind. Was this the same thing as excusing me for interrupting or annoying her because she wasn’t sure I was the root cause of her anger? I suppose that’s possible. Mrs. Lion is very kind. The last thing she wants to be is unfair to me. I am grateful for that and for the love she shows me.

Then, I realized that this situation wasn’t about being fair. It was about two completely different things: First, to our surprise, we’ve learned that consistent enforcement is an effective way to train me. I should have been trained well enough to set that coffee pot up 20 times in a day if that was what we needed. Second, we are out of practice again. Since the idea of maintenance spankings doesn’t work for us, any chance to punish me for a valid reason is valuable because it keeps both of us properly focused on our FLR.

I think this is especially important at times like this when Mrs. Lion is under so much stress. If nothing else, it is a distraction for her. It’s also an area of her life that she controls. Just my two cents.

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In: Sex

We are hunkered down in our cozy house. Mrs. Lion’s boss agreed to let her work from home every day. I’m glad. Even though we really need the money, it wouldn’t be worth the risk of having her go to work. Her office has taken a pretty casual approach toward protecting employees. Since several tested positive in the last few days, they have tightened up a bit. Mrs. Lion can do her job just as well from here.

A couple of weeks ago, I ordered new underpants. I got tired of my plain, white ones, so I replaced them with grey and black. It isn’t really an extravagance. I get 7 pairs for $17 from Amazon. When they arrived, I put them away in my underwear drawer. I realized this morning that I haven’t needed to wear anything other than a t-shirt for over two weeks. Mrs. Lion gets dressed every day. I like the contrast.

I feel myself getting horny again. That’s a relief. I’m sure Mrs. Lion will be teasing me again. I wonder why my libido is giving me trouble. One possible cause is that I expending my sexual energy on writing. I have no idea if that makes sense. Maybe we need some spanking or other BDSM action. It’s been a week or so since my play spanking. I mentioned that we haven’t played Spankardy in a long time. Mrs. Lion just agreed. I guess she isn’t feeling particularly playful. When she isn’t, my interest in sex drops off.

Even though she isn’t interested in sex for herself, my interest still depends a lot on her. I can’t help it, but sex for me feels like a favor she is doing for me. When she seems to want to do things, whether it is spanking, or something else, I interpret it as interest on her part. I wonder if she would be happier if I just stopped wanting to get off. I suppose that if we didn’t do anything for a long time, I might lose my libido too.

By:
In: Domestic discipline, Sex

Some people get involved in domestic discipline in an attempt to “cure” serious bad habits like alcoholism. As far as I know, it doesn’t work at all for that. It works for us dealing with much less serious matters. I quickly learn to consistently perform a chore if I am spanked when I forget. Mrs. Lion has no problem spanking me each and every time I fail to do one.

We’ve had very little success with less cut-and-dried rules. I’m not to interrupt Mrs. Lion. That’s been a rule for a very long time. Unlike the external rules, like setting up the coffeemaker, which gets enforced consistently, I’m almost never punished for interrupting. Mrs. Lion says that rules like no interrupting are too subjective. She’s said that she’s never completely sure that I am the reason she’s annoyed and so feels uncomfortable about punishing me.

I understand that. Mrs. Lion decided to growl at me when I break any of these subjective rules. She has growled at me a couple of times since. She said that a growl is as much as she can do right now. I believe it’s a good start. Perhaps the growls will be enough to help me improve.

There’s another area that I think domestic discipline can support: sexual initiation. Many men, including me, have a great deal of trouble initiating sex. It’s been a problem for me as long as I’ve had sex. It is almost certainly related to my fear of rejection. Apparently, a lot of men suffer from this as well. It’s one of the most common sexual complaints women make. It’s a female problem too. A very large number of women fall back on the traditionalist old saw that women should be passive. These women insist that their partners initiate all sex. I call, bullshit! Initiation should be a 50/50 deal.

Anyway, rant aside, I think sexual initiation difficulties can be helped with domestic discipline. If the man is the disciplined spouse and he has trouble initiating sex, then DD may be a way to help fix it. If he has a rule that he must initiate sex at least every other day, then failing to meet that expectation earns a spanking.

I don’t think spanking is the main incentive. It is important, but maybe not the key. His partner has told him that she not only wants but insists, that he initiate sex at least every other day. Speaking as a man who has this problem, I can say that my motivation isn’t the fear of a bruised bottom. It’s the explicit permission I have to initiate sex. My spouse wants me to initiate sex so badly that she will punish me if I don’t! Whoopee!

I can hear the woman thinking, “What if I’m not in the mood when he tries?” That is an important question. In fact, it’s those days that advances are spurned that created the initiation problem in the first place. Obviously, it makes no sense to insist that a woman always agrees to sex every time her husband tries to initiate. But instead of just saying no, perhaps a workaround is needed.

If you broaden the definition of “sex” to go beyond sex with her, I think positive reinforcement is possible on nights when she isn’t in the mood. Instead of “I have a headache,” why not offer workarounds? Give the initiating partner sex that doesn’t include you. Oral sex or a handjob can be acceptable substitutes.

Domestic Discipline isn’t just about spanking. It may be what got you interested in the first place. It’s about creating a structure. Make sense?

By:
In: Lion's Journal

Yesterday, I got the sort of Contact Us message I never thought I would see. Someone named Ronald from a gmail address sent the following:

“I am asking all bloggers to unlink “Strict Julie” due to her using her blog to promote Trumpian conspiracy theories. Thank you for your consideration of this.”

The blog he is referring to is strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com. It’s true that Julie has written a few posts supporting Donald Trump’s insane view of the United States and the world. So what? A little under half of the American voters apparently do too.

The point is that I’m deeply insulted by being asked to no longer link to her most excellent spanking site because I don’t agree with her politics. I consider her a friend. We have continued to correspond even though we are on opposite sides of the aisle. More importantly, Ronald is doing what Trump tries to do: suppress opinions that oppose his. Ronald, the United States Constitution (First Amendment) guarantees that everyone has the right to free speech. Since you obviously oppose the orange menace, why would you adopt his tactics?

I love reading Julie’s blog. She and I promote adult spanking. I would imagine a lot of Democrats and Republicans would love to silence us. Tough shit.

For the record, the main reason I despise Trump isn’t his right-wing politics. It’s his consistent efforts since his election four years ago, to devote all of his efforts at maintaining his base so he could be reelected. He labels Democrats as the enemy. No other president in American history tried to vilify the opposition party. Trump still doesn’t understand he was (thank God) the president of the entire country, not just the people who voted for him.

I don’t agree with much of what he did or tried to do in the last four years. His incompetence as a leader and venal disregard of the basic tenets of democracy and decency made me happy to vote for a candidate who, at best, is mediocre. I am a lifelong liberal. I support freedom for all. Most of all, I will defend anyone’s right to free speech, even Donald Trump.