Super Glue

As a male, I have to acknowledge that it all comes down to sex. We, males, are programmed by nature to be in heat all of the time. Even when we aren’t physically able to ejaculate, those endocrine hormones keep us sexually focused. Women see this as either a potentially dangerous flaw or a lever they can use to control us.

Yesterday, I wrote about how my sex drive makes me willingly accept punishment. (“Why I Need To Be Punished“) My clever lioness knows that if she spanks me regularly, the sexual connection is maintained at full strength. I’m not only obedient because sex can be withheld, but because if I’m not, I get a painful spanking that I am powerless to resist.

Granted, the way we express this is on the extreme side. Smart vanilla women use this power in more subtle ways. Tell the truth, even if you are in a vanilla marriage, sex is used as a way to get male obedience. We know that a pissed-off wife isn’t going to get us off. Masturbation is a weak defense that is only effective for a relatively short time. Surrender is inevitable.

If this power is abused, big problems can result. We have limits. Push a male over that edge, and he becomes unpredictable. He could seek sex outside the marriage. He might get angry and potentially violent. As any lion tamer, like Mrs. Lion, knows that control has to be exercised carefully. Training is a gradual process. I’ve learned to fear her retribution. Yes, I could overpower her. I wouldn’t dare.

An even more powerful control comes from love. I can’t imagine my life without my lioness. I need to feel her power. I depend on her to help me keep my perspective. We’ve been together nearly twenty years. She knows me better than I know myself. I think that the survival of any species partially depends on a balance between the sexes. Most mammals offset the difference in physical strength between males and females by giving the males a strong inability to attack a female. She can bite him and bully him. He won’t retaliate. Sound familiar?

Mrs. Lion can reward me with sexual attention. She chooses not to take advantage of this option. I get sex regardless of my behavior. She keeps me on the straight and narrow with her paddles instead of her teeth. It works. Sex is a physical glue that assures we stay close. It works very well. Oh yes, it sure does.

5 Comments

  1. Wow, did I not like this post. You make a lot of sweeping generalisations and come a hair’s width away from saying that wives are to blame for any cheating husbands or domestic violence. I tend not to comment when I disagree with you but don’t have anything useful to say, but this is just irresponsible.

    1. Author

      You read a meaning into the post I didn’t intend. Wives aren’t ever responsible for their husbands’ cheating. They are a rationalization for this dishonest behavior. I also don’t see that I am supporting domestic violence. I am suggesting that abuse of the instinctive power balance we all feel can result in problems. I am saying that instability, which can manifest in violence or cheating, can result from extreme frustration. This isn’t the same as assigning blame. It’s just my untrained observation. Does that mean the wife is responsible? Obviously not. I’m not suggesting that at all.

      1. “As a male, I have to acknowledge that it all comes down to sex. […] Women see this as either a potentially dangerous flaw or a lever they can use to control us.”

        “If this power is abused, big problems can result. We have limits. Push a male over that edge, and he becomes unpredictable. He could seek sex outside the marriage. He might get angry and potentially violent.”

        By postulating that women have the power to control men because men are always in heat (a problematic generalisation that discredits both genders) and that if they misuse that power a man could become violent, you are essentially saying that, at least in some instances, men have become violent when their wives have made an error when trying to manipulate them using sex. You’re giving the man a chance to get off the hook by saying he was “pushed over the edge” by a “lion tamer” not exercising careful control.

        I understand that argument isn’t your intention, but I’m saying that as a professional writer you should take another look at that post and ask yourself if that isn’t how it could be interpreted.

        1. Author

          I am saying that domestic violence can result when people go too far. I’m not talking about BDSM gone bad or anything like that. It’s the sort of situation provoked by bad actions on the part of a couple. Female misuse of power isn’t an excuse for domestic violence. I think it is an explanation of how a marriage can go bad. No, I didn’t intend to provide an excuse for abusers. I am very sure that some women manipulate men with sex.

          1. I think you’re smart enough to understand how someone could read your post and join the dots the way I outlined, so I have to assume you’re being deliberately obtuse.

            What do you actually say in your post?

            Paragraph 1: Men are always horny and women can control them because of this.
            Paragraph 2: You obey your wife because she controls your sex life and regularly spanks you.
            Paragraph 3: Smart women are subtle about it, but all married women use sex to control their husbands.
            Paragraph 4: If a woman doesn’t get this control right, the man will reach his limit and become unpredictable, possibly seeking a different sexual partner, possibly getting angry and/or violent. Your wife exercises good control over you, and even though you could physically overpower her, you don’t.
            Paragraph 5: You love and cherish your partner of twenty years. There needs to be a balance between sexes, and most male mammals have an inability to attack their female partners, similar to how you don’t overpower your wife.
            Paragraph 6: Your wife doesn’t use sex as a reward, but has sex with you regularly and used spanking to ensure you obey her.

            Your analysis of your own marriage seems reductive, but it’s your blog about your life, write about it how you like. Same goes for your cliched, misogynistic bullshit about sex starved husbands and their calculating, manipulative, frigid wives. However, by saying female misuse of power can explain how a marriage can go bad, you are absolutely blaming women for the consequences of bad marital situations. You’re taking agency away from the man, essentially saying, at least in some cases, if the woman did a better job of appeasing her husband through sexual acts then the man wouldn’t have become violent. If you don’t see the danger in that then I don’t know how I can help you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge