Sometimes Lion is a little kid. He wants what he wants when he wants it. He stops short of holding his breath to get it. After I read his post for this morning, he said he really needs to know when I plan on playing with him. The thing is, other than after my shower, I don’t have a time in mind. This doesn’t really work for him. Ironically, I’d decided yesterday that he would either have his punishment or play before we started watching football. The remaining one would happen afterwards. I guess it wasn’t really surprising that he didn’t want to decide which came first. And then he kept asking when we’d play. “Let me know,” he said a few times. Finally, I said, “Now! Right now. How about now?”
I find it interesting that when I state a preference for things, it’s unworkable. I want him not naked all the time. He says he doesn’t do well with “sometimes”. I say I want the blinds open sometimes. He says he doesn’t want people peeping in. But I should put my foot down because I’m in charge. Am I? At times like those and yesterday when “deciding” when to play, I don’t really feel all that in charge.
On one hand, I’m supposed to be in charge. On the other hand, I’m not in charge of everything. If you assume that nakedness and having the blinds open or closed are day to day operations, then I’m not calling the shots. However, Lion has said, in the past, that he wants me to make daily decisions like what’s for dinner. It appears, from my point of view, that he only wants me to make decisions “sometimes” but he says he has trouble with sometimes.
Recently, we tried playing when I got done with work. I thought it was working but Lion said he felt rushed. He said I should have time to relax a bit. That translated to playing after my shower again and that’s too late. The bottom line is that he balks at vagueness and I balk at specifics. Maybe there’s common ground in promising play between 7 and 8 pm or between 5:30 and 6:30. In either case, I don’t know how to convince him I’m not trying to rush.
For the record, Lion got blue menthol on his balls yesterday. This wasn’t retaliation. He was going to have it the night before when he decided he wasn’t going to get anywhere. He also got a big orgasm. Afterward, he said he thought I was going to give him one. I hadn’t thought much about it before I started. And even while I was edging him, I was debating between yesterday and today. I guess that just proves he can’t really read my mind. I know I can’t read his.
[Lion comments — So many different things! I have been naked in the house for almost 20 years. I don’t really have any “at home” clothes. At this point I am comfortable naked below the waist at the least.
In terms of play time, all I am asking is some idea. It isn’t my idea to fall asleep the way I am doing right now. I’m sure we will figure schedules out. This is a very difficult and unusual time for me.]