Lion wonders what I feel when he breaks a rule. Sometimes I’m amused. Sometimes I just can’t believe he broke that one rule (whatever it might be) again. Sometimes, like yesterday, I’m unsure if we’re still playing the “game” anymore. He was upset with me and not showing much interest in my kisses or anything. Was I supposed to waltz into the room and say, “Nanner, nanner, nanner! You didn’t do the coffee again. I get to spank you!”? From my point of view, he could have told me to take a flying leap.
When it comes to the actual punishment, I’m hit and miss whether I tell him, or make him tell me, why he’s being punished. If I remember Lion likes pomp and circumstance, I go through a whole spiel about why he’s being punished and how he could have easily avoided it. Sometimes I tell him he’s bleeding all over my paddle like it’s all his fault, which it is since he caused the spanking by not following the rules. I think it all depends on how much I’m in character.
Of course, I have to be in some sort of character to punish him. “Just me” wouldn’t do it. I’m not sure Lioness 1.0 or 2.0 would either. Lioness 3.0 can get into it to some extent. Lioness 4.0 doesn’t care if he’s bleeding. She will keep going until she’s done. Maybe it was 3.5 who spanked him yesterday. She sort of cared that Lion said the swats were too hard, but she didn’t stop. It couldn’t have been 4.0 because she stopped when it looked like there would be bruising and some blood appeared. (There was no bruising, nor any sore spots afterward.)
I like to hear his report of how sore his buns are. If I’ve done a good job then he has trouble finding a comfortable position to sit. I know I’ve made a lasting impression. Maybe he won’t forget that rule again for a while. I’m not happy I’ve hurt him. Well, “just me” isn’t happy. But I realize this is something he needs and I can do it for him. It’s not like I feel guilty about doing it. I don’t need therapy. I don’t need to join a twelve step program for wives who spank their husbands. Unlike Lion telling me he can give up BDSM and our lifestyle, I can actually give it up. Lioness 4.0 would fade into the background, never to be heard from again.
That definitely does not mean I want to give it up. We’ve come a long way from my silly little barely-felt swats all those years ago. Lion must have wondered what he got himself into. “I’m sorry. Was that an actual swat or did a breeze blow through?” Now he knows what he got himself into and he hopes for a breeze to cool his fiery buns off. What a difference seventeen years can make!