When I have time, I like to surf other blogs related to enforced male chastity, female led relationships, and BDSM. I’ve noticed that the blogs that turn me off almost instantly tend to tell me what I need to do. The ones I like best, talk about personal experience and offer possible explanations as to why whatever the subject is works for the writer. Any time I read, “you should”, I head for the hills. Almost invariably the writer has no firsthand knowledge of the subject matter.
One blogger loves to talk about peeing in her submissive’s mouth. She goes on about inviting her friends to use him as a toilet as well. I cite this example because it represents a serious safety issue. Consuming urine from a healthy person isn’t necessarily dangerous. However, consuming a lot of urine will stress the kidneys since they are forced to extract not only the toxins in his body, but also the toxins excreted by the urine donor. Enough about that.
The point is that some people find this idea very erotic and accept the very irresponsible writing by this blogger as instructions on how to pursue this particular turn-on. The same is true about other practices that could cause issues. I’m sensitive to this because I spent years as the safety director for one of the largest BDSM organizations in the United States. I ran regular classes on safe play.
The reason my interest in safety gets jumbled up with my intense dislike of “shoulds” is that very often the use of that word accompanies potentially dangerous activities. One activity that Mrs. Lion and I engage in has drawn significant criticism by some of our readers. That activity is spanking. Every so often someone tells us that we are in an abusive relationship because Mrs. Lion beats me with a paddle. We don’t agree.
Spanking with a paddle is one of the safest pain-inducing activities you can try. As long as the target area is the lower half of the buttocks going down to the upper half of the thighs, it’s very difficult to do any lasting damage. The relatively broad face of a paddle prevents deep injury while creating a lot of discomfort. BDSM bottoms often refer to “sting” and “thud”. These sensations represent the range of spanking sensations.
Paddles are generally more sting than thud. The lighter-weight, broader-faced paddles have the most sting. Heavier paddles with smaller faces have less sting and some thud. I know that I am very unhappy with sting. All of Mrs. Lion’s paddles are quite stingy. Some are heavier with smaller faces and are capable of leaving lasting impressions.
In terms of physiology, the lighter, larger paddles make the skin red and generally don’t leave a long-lasting impression. Even one of those paddles, if used with enough force can create a bruise that will be felt for a day or two. Smaller striking implements, like canes, can leave deep, lasting impressions. It takes considerable practice to learn to use a cane safely. I strongly suggest limiting spankings to paddles. Hand-spankings generally have a lot of sting for both the spanker and her victim. That’s why Mrs. Lion uses a paddle for discipline.
The point of all this is to suggest that before following online instructions, it’s a very good idea to seriously think about the source. I would be very unlikely to take any advice from the pee lady. Her irresponsible instructions suggests that she probably has no real knowledge of the subject.
Every so often I go on a tear like this. I worry about our readers. Since Mrs. Lion and I practice disciplinary spanking, I know that some of our readers use us as a reference as to how they can take this practice on themselves. That’s fine. I try to be very careful about explaining where the risks lie. I also reference other bloggers who I know safely practice spanking. Some of them, and maybe us too, seem to go too far. That’s really in the eye…um…bottom of the receiver. I am absolutely fine with the severity of my spankings. I am prepared and encourage Mrs. Lion to go a bit further. Your experience may vary.
The entire point I am making is that just because you want to do what we do doesn’t mean you will do it with the same intensity. It’s taken us years to get to where we are now. Some of our readers, I know, endure much more severe beatings. Some get off with a much lighter application of the paddle. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that what you do works for you and is safe.