Monday night ended two droughts: Our rules are back in full force and I got my first orgasm in our new house. Both are welcome additions to our lives. I did point out to Mrs. Lion that now that we are sleeping in our new house, she has yet to find the box containing her paddles. She replied that she can always walk out to our camper and get one from there.
I took my life into my hands on Monday night when I suggested we have dinner at the local Mexican restaurant. I’m happy to report that I didn’t get anything on my shirt despite the fact that I had lots of chips and salsa. That’s a very good thing since I am still owed seven spankings for two accidents over a week ago. I’m sure Mrs. Lion will locate an appropriate implement and begin catching up on her backlog.
Little by little she is making dents in the massive number of boxes piled everywhere in our house. Mrs. Lion spent most of yesterday at the old house. The junk removal company came back to remove the final load of unwanted stuff. When we moved here from the East, the corporate movers sucked up everything in our house like a giant vacuum cleaner. They then deposited it in the house we had rented. We’ve been in that house for 13 years. During that time, we’ve managed to accumulate even more stuff. It’s taken four truckloads (large trucks!) to dispose of all this stuff. The junk removal people will donate anything we are giving them that’s still useful to charity. They will also recycle appropriately. It’s nice to know that we aren’t simply contributing to landfill.
Today housecleaners are coming to the old house to get it ready for us to turn it over to our landlord. It will be good to finally close the book on that location.
I was really happy that Mrs. Lion was willing to end my orgasm wait. I noticed at dinner that she was carefully watching me in case I let some food hit my shirt. This may sound silly and trivial to you, but for us it’s significant. Moving is the third most stressful event, only exceeded by death and divorce. I think we’ve been doing remarkably well. Restoration of our normal routine — abnormal to many people — is a very healthy sign.
Stressful situations like moving can cause permanent damage to a relationship. I’m convinced that our power exchanges provide unique communication channels that keep us emotionally healthy.
We have a self-imposed framework to cope with two of the most difficult areas to keep normal in difficult times. Our Female Led Relationship with Discipline (FLRD) is like a pressure release valve on a pressure cooker. When things get stressful, Mrs. Lion and put her foot down and stop escalation with a single hard stare. If necessary, she can follow that up with a spanking. As I’ve said before, the value of the spanking is twofold: It provides a break in whatever situation provokes it. And it reestablishes our pecking order in a very graphic way.
We’ve both had a hard time articulating how valuable these punishments are to us. It’s difficult to see past the obvious physical discomfort spanking creates. We get lots of people wondering why I encourage Mrs. Lion to make her punishments memorable. The reason is almost visceral. A memorable punishment helps condition me to correct the behavioral problem the punishment addresses. It provides Mrs. Lion with positive closure to the event that upset her.
Prior to beginning our disciplinary relationship, spanking was a welcome BDSM activity. It’s no secret that I like to be spanked. This creates both the benefit and the challenge. The benefit is that I get sexually aroused thinking about being spanked. This assures that I will be willing to get into position or my punishment without complaint. The challenges that this is sexually exciting to me when I think about it. The punishment has to be severe enough to assure that I will understand that it isn’t being given plus I find spanking exciting.
Trust me, Mrs. Lion’s spankings are absolutely not exciting to me. Yes, I get turned on thinking about them, but when she starts, any sexual thoughts disappear after the first few swats. By the time she is done all I feel is a burning bottom and regret for provoking it. We both believe this is as it should be.
We’ve had a few conversations about all this. We agree that we could probably get the same result without physical punishment. We also agree that the physical punishment is necessary for us. I really can’t articulate exactly why we feel this way. I mentioned a couple of reasons, but I’m not convinced there is something deeper going on as well. We both miss it when we have to suspend punishing me when needed.
I’m not trying to convince you that a disciplinary relationship is what you need. It makes no sense to try to convert people. Because we value you as a reader, we want you to understand how these pieces fit into our marriage. With or without FLRD, we will stay together. With it, we function better.
I have to give Mrs. Lion a great deal of credit. Before she met me she had no idea that people did the sort of thing we are doing now. I introduced it to her. Acting purely out of love for me, she gave these alien, seemingly-crazy practices try. She persisted even though it was very difficult to do in the beginning. Now, it’s second nature to her as it is to me. We are both very happy that we stayed with it long enough to make it an integral part of our marriage. I think it is our most significant stress reliever.