One of the problems that Mrs. Lion faces is which of my behaviors she wants to change. One of the key principles of domestic discipline is for the disciplining wife to use punishment (and rewards) to modify her husband’s behavior. Punishments are real; painful and humiliating. They are designed to encourage her husband to change.
It isn’t that I am perfect. Mrs. Lion’s sense of fairness gets in the way of effectively helping me change. I’m thinking of interrupting as a case in point. Mrs. Lion has often expressed how much she dislikes it when I interrupt her. Surprisingly, she almost never punishes me for interrupting her. I wondered if she doesn’t even notice anymore. I asked her. She said that since she interrupts me as often as I interrupt her, it wouldn’t be fair to punish me. If she spanks me for interrupting her, she would be supporting a double standard.
I’ve been thinking about this. Is it necessary for the disciplining wife to hold herself to the same standard as her husband? Ideally, that makes great sense. But the contract between Mrs. Lion and I is that she enforces rules that will help me correct undesirable behaviors. It says nothing about her making changes. I know, that doesn’t seem fair.
It’s not about fairness. It’s about my obedience. If I know that I shouldn’t interrupt, if I do it, I am being disobedient. One thing I know for sure: consistency is necessary for me to truly change. That means there have to be consequences for any breach of a rule. Mrs. Lion has said that interrupting her really bothers her. I know this, yet I interrupt.
Persistent disobedience is a sign that the last punishment wasn’t sufficient to teach me a lesson. The obvious remedy is that the punishment for repetition might need to be more unpleasant. This hasn’t been the case with us yet. It’s also true that even if I do my best to obey, after a time there is a good chance I will “forget” and reoffend. That’s normal. A “reminder” punishment should get me back on the right track. After a number of cycles like this, I should habituate the desired behavior.
Part of this seems like a game; a sexy game. That’s what got me to suggest we do it. Even now, after I’ve learned that punishment is real, that aspect is still exciting to me. From my reading, most men are the same. Some are even erect when punishment begins. None stay that way very long. I think the sexual motivation is a good thing. It keeps me coming back.
It’s interesting that I can be aroused and frightened of the same thing. I don’t want to be punished, but the thought of it is arousing. I guess we males are strange this way. On the other hand, Mrs. Lion isn’t turned on by any of this. Her purpose, as we agreed, is to change my behavior and teach me to obey her without question. If my sexual arousal helps, so much the better. It’s why I suggest ways she can punish me. It’s a turn on to do that.
I think it’s tough for my lioness to remember that the purpose of her rules is to teach me never to break them. Even if she constantly interrupts me, a single instance on my part is serious and needs prompt correction. Right?
I’d like to suggest reading a truly interesting post. It’s the most reasonable, realistic view of punishment and domestic discipline. I think it is well worth the time it takes to read. You can find it here.
It’s hard to put the effect of consistent discipline into words. It goes far beyond correcting behavior. I find that the inevitability of punishment a very strong, positive motivator in areas not even part of my rules. In one sense it is a form of loving attention. In another, it is a constant reminder that I’m not in charge. Many people write that enforced chastity is the ultimate form of female control. Neither of us see it that way. Up until now, it’s been more of a sexual game than a serious component of my submission.
Mrs. Lion has said she prefers it that way. That doesn’t mean I get to ejaculate when I want. It also doesn’t mean she won’t make me wait for weeks. It just means that her decision of when I get to come isn’t related to my behavior. She has never extended my wait as part of a punishment. I’m happy with this, but I am also puzzled as to why she chooses not to use such a powerful force as my desire for release to assist her in disciplining me. We’ve talked about it many times over the years and she just doesn’t want to do that.
So much of what I read suggests that she should enjoy punishing me. Some say that spanking and other punishments are amusing to the disciplinary wife. That’s not true of Mrs. Lion. She dislikes punishing me almost as much as I hate being punished. Perhaps those other women express amusement as a way to make the punishment humiliating as well as painful. I don’t know.
We’ve developed our own style of domestic discipline. Even though we have been doing it over two years, I don’t think that we have reached the severity that Mrs. Lion (in the guise of 2.0) will ultimately accomplish. I also think that ratcheting up severity for repeat offenses is something I haven’t experienced yet. I have no doubt that I will experience it in the not-too-distant future. 2.0 is very, very close.