By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity

Due to my kidney stones and the accompanying discomfort and surgery, I had been wild for about three weeks. On Monday night it was time for me to be locked up again in my chastity device. Mrs. Lion locked it on.  It just didn’t feel right. It felt too tight. It was uncomfortable when I moved. It was just wrong.

I mentioned this to Mrs. Lion. She told me that I could be wild until the weekend. I decided to stay caged. I fell into an uneasy sleep. The next morning I barely noticed the device, at least for a while. At work, when I had to pee, I grumbled to myself about having to squeeze the cage and my balls through the fly in my jeans, check that the urethra was centered, and finally was able to pee. What a lot of trouble! As the day wore on, I forgot that I was caged. I easily fell back into the changes I have to make in the bathroom. Showering felt completely normal.

I’ve been thinking back to the other times I was wild for more than a couple of days. Each time the cage returned, I was unhappy. Obviously the fit didn’t change. It’s the same Jail Bird I’ve been wearing for years. The difference is inside me.

Over three years ago I asked Mrs. Lion to lock me up. I worked hard to find a device that is secure and fits comfortably. I wanted enforced chastity. Getting used to the device was fun. I was getting what I wanted. The inconveniences of dealing with a caged penis were challenges for me to overcome. I reveled in beating each new challenge.

Being locked in a chastity device is routine. Both of us are used to dealing with the demands it makes on our lives. We accept them because the cage has helped us make positive changes in our relationship. We’ve adapted. Then one day it has to come off for a while.  It felt very good to be wild. Nocturnal erections were, well, erections. My balls retracted and got out of the way. It was comfortable and convenient to be wild.

I knew the freedom would end soon enough. Masturbation would no longer be an option. It’s true that I never masturbate when wild; but I could. With the cage in place, I can’t. Staying chaste isn’t a matter of will and resolve. It’s the unyielding steel around my penis that could care less about what I want to do with my toy. It is safely locked away for my lioness. I just carry it around.

You’d think I would have gotten over all that years ago. In the beginning I loved that loss of freedom. Now it is a fact of life. A clause in the contract that defines our relationship. Paws off; period. The cage makes that promise. It doesn’t matter at all if I agree. The cage and its security screw remove my opinion from relevance. I agree that my penis belongs exclusively to Mrs. Lion. That is true whether I am wild or not. But when that cage is on, her possession is absolute and completely out of my hands.

Maybe that’s what made it feel so tight and uncomfortable. It may have been the transfer of control from my resolve to a stainless steel device. When that cage went on, my opinion became irrelevant. It no longer matters how I feel about sex. My penis is effectively in Mrs. Lion’s purse attached to her key ring. Even after years of this truth, a couple of weeks of freedom reminded me all over again of what I have given her.

By:
In: Punishment

Last night I owed Lion punishment for forgetting to thank me for the previous night’s punishment. I’ve been wondering about alternative punishments for him. There are some old standbys like washing his mouth out with soap, as well as some other ideas I have up my sleeve. While I was in the shower last night, I decided to give Lion a choice for his punishment.

In the future, he probably won’t be given a choice. I’ll just tell him what the punishment is and expect him to take it. But this is new and I am cautious about punishment in general. He’s said that standing in the corner after a spanking sends a powerful message. I’m not sure I understand why. I’d think standing in the corner is its own punishment. To that end, I decided to offer Lion the choice of a spanking or standing in the dark bathroom with the door closed for five minutes. Initially, I was thinking of ten minutes, but for the maiden voyage I limited it to five minutes.

Not surprisingly, Lion chose the dark bathroom over swats. I hadn’t specified the number of swats. It might have been four. It might have been fourteen. I guess he didn’t want to take the chance. He’d rather stand for five minutes in the dark. Fair enough. I don’t know what I would have chosen in his position.

Why the dark? Sensory deprivation. If the light was on he could have looked in the mirror or counted the tiles on the floor. He might have decided the sink is dirty and we should really clean it. He might have wondered why the towels were crooked on the towel rack. In the dark, he was left alone. I even turned the sound down on the TV so he wouldn’t have that to distract him.

This morning, I started to wonder what would happen if I tell him ahead of time what his punishment will be. For example, if he forgets about punishment night again or forgets to thank me for a punishment, he gets his mouth washed out with soap. Will that threat be enough to help him remember? On the other hand, if I tell him he’ll have to stand in the dark bathroom for ten minutes, will he be less likely to remember because he doesn’t fear that punishment? Here, in Washington state, they are going to crack down (they keep promising) on people who drive in the left lane of the highway for miles and miles for no reason. They are considering raising the fine from $48 to $70 because they don’t believe $48 is enough of a deterrent. I think the idiots who do the speed limit in the left lane are just clueless and don’t know they’re idiots despite the cars zipping past them on the right. A stronger punishment isn’t going to suddenly make them stop being idiots. And, I would imagine, Lion wouldn’t suddenly have a better memory because of a more hated punishment. Up to this point, he’s known the penalty is some very hard swats. He still forgets.

Plus, I don’t know that I should be letting my secrets out ahead of time. He should be wary of any punishment. He doesn’t know what other ideas I’ve come up with. He won’t know about those until I decide to use them. (insert evil grin here)

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal

Monday night was punishment night. I had one coming. Last Thursday I forgot to remind Mrs. Lion it was punishment day. Mrs. Lion has gotten very good at remembering offenses and to spank me when I commit one. Monday night’s spanking was bruising and very painful. Sadly, I forgot to thank her for punishing me. Last night was a repeat performance.

I wasn’t trying to provoke punishment. Mrs. Lion has made her spankings fearsomely painful. I will pay much closer attention to my required duties in the future. I asked her to take a zero-tolerance approach with me. She’s followed through beautifully. Since punishments have gotten so painful, I’ve regretted my request more than once. I really hate punishments.

Mrs. Lion sees my approach as “black or white.” She mentioned it when she wrote about the red underwear I am required to wear. She didn’t realize that I would interpret her request as an “all or nothing” order. Perhaps it is just my personality, but I have a problem with “sometimes.”

We are both learning how to live in a domestic discipline relationship. Mrs. Lion’s inclination is to overlook my offenses. My inclination is to do the same. That’s not surprising. There’s nothing easy about being at either end of the paddle. Until we both fully internalize our power exchange, I think we have to inflexibly follow it. If we don’t, I’m sure we will lapse back into our old ways.

I thought I was doing a good job in accepting my role. No, I didn’t think that I was completely obedient or that I remember all my rules. But I did think that I had accepted the consequences of messing up. Monday night it was clear to me that I haven’t. I was very unhappy about being spanked. Yes, I deserved it. I don’t think the punishment was too harsh. I just didn’t want it. Period.

I tried to get an exception from Mrs. Lion. She was having none of it. She went at me full force. Each swat made me yelp or scream. I absolutely hated all of it. She kept going long past my feeling that I had enough. I turned and glared at her. She kept going without any reduction in force. I had no control at all over the punishment.

This is exactly as it should be. I say this with some hours passing since my last spanking. I think it is perfectly natural for me to try to reduce the pain I will feel. But it isn’t right for me to be able to actually get Mrs. Lion to change her punishment plan. It’s also natural for me to try to get her to give me a pass. It would be wrong for her to do it.

For all this to work, things have to be very clear and simple. Forget to do something she asked; get spanked. Wear anything other than red underpants; spanking. Consequences have to be consistent and meaningful, even for small things. I’m not saying that I should get the same level of spanking for forgetting to remind her that I would for doing something more serious. It’s just that the minimum has to be more than I want to accept.

The problem with “sometimes” is that I don’t learn. “Always” sends a message to both of us. It’s not a very pleasant message for me, but it does get received loud and clear.

By:
In: Punishment

I don’t know if Lion was particularly in the mood for it or not, but he received his punishment swats for forgetting to remind me of last Thursday’s punishment day. I think I gave him eight very hard swats and raised a shallow bruise that always tends to show up. Once it even bled a little.

I know. I know. Eight swats is nothing. He’s a wimp and I’m too scared to go further. I know. But remember, we’re just getting started with real punishment. It will take some time for us to get up to speed. And we had this setback while he was sick. I spent a lot of time nursing him back to health. I don’t look forward to breaking him again.

The thing is, Lion is giving me another shot at swatting him. He forgot to thank me for his punishment last night. So tonight I’ll have to select my paddle and have at his buns again. It’s true that it isn’t punishment night tonight, but I should punish him as close to the infraction as possible. I’d already punished him last night. I suppose I could have used a different form of punishment, but he seemed a little distant already. I didn’t want to push the issue. I just pointed out his mistake and we’ll deal with it tonight.

I’ve also been thinking, although half-heartedly, about coming up with different punishment methods. I have inklings of ideas and I’m not sure if they’d be used in conjunction with spanking or instead of. For example, Lion has pointed out that some women make the man stand in the corner after a spanking. Could he be made to stand in the corner instead of a spanking? Sure it would be less painful physically, but from a humiliation point of view it may have more of an effect.

I know Lion hates diapers and girly toenails. Could they be used as punishment? Again, not so much pain, but humiliation. Maybe he has to watch Criminal Minds with me for a certain length of time with no distracting iPad and without making any comments about not liking the show. Or maybe he has to watch “little did she know” (true crime) shows with me without making any comments. That would be evil of me. I’m not sure he could do it.