paddle collection
This is the current paddle collection hanging on the back of our bedroom door. We have more paddles that I will add to give him a better selection of implements I’ll use on his bottom.

When my mother was young, she and her siblings would be hit with switches for misbehaving. To add insult to injury, they had to go out and bring back their own switch to be hit with. If they thought they could get away with a lighter sentence by bringing back an inferior switch, they were sadly mistaken. My grandmother would then go get a better one and the punishment would be worse.

I was thinking about this last night in the shower. I have a shoe holder on the back of our bedroom door with an assortment of whomping implements. I’m going to make Lion select his own paddle for his punishments from now on. I don’t usually have a specific paddle in mind. Sometimes I pick a paddle I’ve forgotten about. Sometimes I do pick a lighter one knowing I will have to hit harder, but the paddle is the right length or width or whatever for my purposes. We have a few that have the rough stair tread paper on them. I generally rub the rough side across Lion’s butt before I begin, but I hit with the other side. Of course, I can always change my mind and hit with the rough side if necessary.

There is a decent selection of paddles in there right now, but I’ll look for more over the weekend. I know there are mean ones hiding in the spare bedroom. I want Lion to have a full range of paddles to contemplate. I think it’s important that he be the one making the choice. Or, at least, making his choice. However, if Lion brings me a paddle that is too light for the job, I’ll correct his selection and he’ll got more swats.

I’ll be interested to see how often his choice of paddles lines up with what I would have picked. Knowing the punishment will be worse for a misstep, I bet he’ll choose carefully.

It’s been less than a week since Mrs. Lion told me that all my underpants are to be red. I managed to locate some on Amazon that made it in two days. So all my other-colored underpants are now packed away and inaccessible. I modeled the first pair for Mrs. Lion on Wednesday night. She likes them and fingered the soft fabric. She rarely sees me in any underwear. I am naked at home. I undress as soon as I get in. In the morning, I generally dress after Mrs. Lion leaves for work. She does see them in the laundry basket, but not on me.

Her choice and the change I made to accommodate it isn’t as significant as the fact that she made the decision. She said that she really didn’t mean I should only wear red underwear. She claims that was my interpretation. It probably was. I like the idea of “always” and “never”. I always enjoyed hearing about guys who discover one morning that all of their underwear had been replaced by panties. It’s not the fact that panties are women’s undies. It’s that a decision that affects the way the guy lives was made without any warning or consultation. I think that’s hot.

The Red Underwear decision felt similar to me. Yes, it would have been hotter if I opened my underwear drawer one morning and found nothing but red bikini underpants. But having to replace my collection myself is a very close second. I wonder if my interpretation of her comment was fueled by my long wait for my next orgasm. Is this a symptom of extended frustration? I think it is likely that’s the case.

This is the first time that I can attribute personal changes to my extended wait. I suspect that if all my waits are this long, the changes would disappear. Maybe not. I just don’t know.

I also bought a couple of new butt plugs as well. I’ve been fantasizing about anal stretching. I wonder if these purchases are my way of sublimating my inability to come.

While I am not that fond of things up my ass, I do consider that activity as sexual. I feel the same way about hot stuff applied to my balls. It’s S/M foreplay. Except in my case, it isn’t foreplay; it’s the entire sexual experience. I wonder how Mrs. Lion feels about this. So far all we have done is daily edging. That is incredibly exciting to me, of course.

The bigger question is what works for Mrs. Lion? Does any of this activity do anything for her? I don’t mean that it turns her on. I wonder if she finds any of this fun on any level. Given my current wait, I know she is getting into challenging me. I wonder if anal expansion would also be a challenge worthy of her consistent effort. Would tying me down and putting hot stuff on my balls do anything for her? Would it be arousing for me to be the object of these challenges? We shall see, I imagine.

Lion and I are having an email exchange, as we normally do on a workday. We’re talking about his longer-than-usual wait this time around. Last night he seemed annoyed that he still had to wait until March for an orgasm. He made it seem like it was news to him. We had discussed it last week. I’m pretty sure he was coherent for the conversation. Since he was annoyed, I wondered if I was pushing things too far. He assures me I’m not. I still worry.

In some ways, despite all the strides I may have made, I’m still a scared little kid afraid that I’m going to do the wrong thing and no one will want to play with me anymore. I think that feeling will always be there, no matter how well I try to hide it. I was also just wondering where the hell 2.0 is. She’s been AWOL for a very long time. I don’t think I’ve assimilated her. At least, I don’t think I have.

It seems to me 2.0 would have taken great pleasure in Lion’s frustration. She would be looking at dates into April for Lion’s next orgasm. She would make sure his butt was unable to sit comfortably for at least a day after some of his infractions. She’s just that kind of bitch.

If I had to give myself a number, I’d say I was at 1.75 right now. (Although some days it feels like I’m at a negative number.) Maybe 2.0 is off strategizing with 3.0 to get me to 2.5. I don’t even want to know what 2.5 has in store for Lion. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t either. But we’ll get there, slowly but surely.

For now, 1.75 is going to try not to give Lion a ruined orgasm on his way to 22-plus days. And she’s working out the best way to make punishment more “memorable”. Lion has been adding to her bag of tricks, with slappers and butt plugs. He’s a glutton for punishment in more ways than one.

Today is the 20th day since my last orgasm. I’ve only had one other wait this long. Mrs. Lion indicated that my wait will continue at least to 25 days, probably 26 which is the first of March. That would make February a one-orgasm month. I think there was only one other one-orgasm month in over three years of enforced chastity.

To my surprise, my interest in getting off is extremely high. I figured that over time I would lose interest. However, every night Mrs. Lion unlocks me and edges me unmercifully. I seem to get hard nearly instantly and work as hard as I can to ejaculate. Mrs. Lion is too smart to let that happen. When she is done, she waits as my erection subsides and then locks me up again.

In addition to the edging we spend a good amount of time snuggling. I love that. My desire for this contact seems to have grown as the distance from my last orgasm increases. I didn’t notice this when my waits were shorter. Mrs. Lion seems to be having fun with my frustration. She teases me about being horny as well as a lot of touching even when in my cage. It’s difficult for me to tell if this is real pleasure or if she is behaving this way because she knows I like it so much. I know she loves it when I come. I wonder if she has found a different pleasure in frustrating me.

As my wait wears on, I find that I am generating precum way after the edging. I can pee and then more than fifteen minutes after the edging I find sticky drops at the end of the urethra. This is new too.

At this point I know that my preferences have much less weight in her decisions regarding when I can come. I like that. I also like the teasing. I don’t get any special pleasure out of this very long wait. At least I don’t think I do. Things are different. Maybe I am more submissive. I don’t want to argue with her decisions. I don’t beg for an orgasm and I don’t grumble much either.

I don’t want to sound like I want one or less orgasms a month. I don’t. But I am absolutely prepared to accept that schedule if it pleases Mrs. Lion. She likes to say she is unpredictable regarding when I come. She says she makes that decision while masturbating me. I know that in this case she wants to beat my old record of 21 days. I think that motivates her to not give in to her desire to make me squirt.

She may also be learning from this experience. Impromptu orgasms, while fun, may also take some of the purpose out of enforced chastity. She might enjoy setting a goal and then surpassing it. It’s a challenge for her to not give in to my enormous desire to ejaculate.

Maybe this new resolve is related to her ability to punish me. She’s been learning to spank severely. Each spanking has had more intensity, but relatively short duration. The intensity is significant. She knows each swat is very painful and it is her intention to make it hurt as much as she can. The duration is probably related to her resolve. How much can she hurt me before she can’t bring herself to continue? Knowing her, she will experiment by keeping the intensity and extending the number of swats as she learns to embrace domestic discipline.

She knows I withdraw for a while after being beaten. I think that is challenging for her as well. I believe my withdrawal will become less as I learn to accept the punishment. I also think she will learn to disregard it the same way she ignores my yelps when she hits me. I think she realizes that she needs to harden those feelings to be effective as a disciplining wife.

The same may be true with enforced chastity. She may be learning to enjoy my frustration and the changes in my behavior that long waits produce. Or, she may just be experimenting. As with punishment, it’s not for me to guess or suggest; just accept.