By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

I guess it still amazes me how much power I have over Lion. Not the ordering around go-get-me-a-drink kind of power. I mean sex. When he’s tree-humping horny, as he is now, it takes very little for Mr. Weenie to stand at attention. I like to say a stiff breeze will do it, but that’s not really true. It’s usually all me. It’s a good thing I like to tease him.

Last night Lion was bucking away in my hand before I brought out the Magic Wand. With his friend, the vibrator, he’s putty in my hands. Of course he is anyway. Even without the vibrator. But with the Magic Wand, he writhes and bucks. To no avail if I’m doing things correctly. And I did last night. I don’t think I quite got him to the dripping stage, but he was fairly incoherent for a few minutes.

I really like when he’s this horny. Not enough to keep him waiting for any extended length of time, but I do like his hardness and desperation. Lion thinks if I like him super horny, I should make him wait longer. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’ll stay desperately horny. At some point it will drop off. But even if it didn’t, he’ll be horny again at some point. Why make him wait? Especially when I love giving him orgasms more than I love how tree-humping horny he gets. I like to strike a balance between tease and deny and tease and satisfy.

Lion is a lucky, lucky boy.

By:
In: Chastity hardware, Lion's Journal

The Internet is famous for discussions ad-nauseum about definitions. It sort of makes sense. In a medium composed of words, the meaning of nouns can define some people. In our particular little corner of the kink world, there is no clear agreement on the exact meaning of enforced chastity or female led relationships (marriage).

For example, is someone practicing enforced chastity if he isn’t wearing a locking chastity device? Does the word “enforced” refer to physically restraining the penis or does it mean that someone other than the man wearing the penis control what it does?

A couple of years ago, I would have argued that the locking device is essential for enforced chastity. After all, without this hardware, cheating is easy and not easy to detect. So, if there is a trust issue, then enforced chastity requires physical restraint. If mental control is sufficient, the enforcement doesn’t need the hardware.

Of course, a lot of us like the idea of wearing a chastity device. It’s hot. It’s what we fantasized about before actually doing it. Mine has been off for a few weeks now. I like the freedom. I also enjoy the unrestrained erections that come my way. I’ve been thinking about whether I should discuss this with Mrs. Lion. I like being wild, but the cage does prevent those erections. I have a concern. My new job requires business casual dress. Until now, I wore jeans and the cage was invisible. I’m not so sure it won’t show up with Dockers. Of course we can test and see if Mrs. Lion wants me locked up.

Sometimes it’s hard to separate what is essentially a bondage fetish from the actual practice of enforced chastity. Let’s face it, most of the guys wearing chastity devices are doing it because they find it a turn on; Ironic, but true. I do like bondage and wearing the cage is certainly penis bondage.

Whether or not I am wearing the Jail Bird, I am under enforced chastity. I can get in a touch here or there, but I am absolutely not going to masturbate. As far as I can tell, being wild permits me to make things worse for myself. If I do any self-stimulation I know I can’t really continue beyond starting to get hard. I just can’t. I know I’m not allowed to touch myself sexually. So, I don’t.

Knowing I could masturbate is way harder to handle than knowing I am physically prevented from doing it. The device takes any choice out of my chastity. Without it, I am willingly obeying because I have surrendered my sexual pleasure to my keyholder. The real key, after all, isn’t the one that unlocks the hardware; it’s my surrender to my lioness.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

I do, indeed, have a horny Lion. He’s back to full strength now. It’s only been a few days since his last orgasm, but he’s ready for the next one. I got him very close last night, but didn’t go too far.

We’re back on the road this weekend and next. A short, four day trip this weekend and a longer, further away six day trip on Labor Day weekend. That’s the end of our camping for the summer. Lion is already wild for the trip. He’s been wild since he started working. The cage sits on his nightstand. I don’t know if he’ll ever go back in.

A friend was telling me about an argument she had with her boyfriend. He wanted to buy a car. He said it would be hers. She knew he wanted to drive it, but he assured her it was hers and he would only drive it when she said it was OK. The other day he wanted to drive it. He came up with what he thought was a good reason. She didn’t buy it. She told him he couldn’t drive it. He argued. She pushed back. Eventually he told her she had won the battle but not the war. I thought about how that conversation would go in our house.

Lion: I want to drive the car.
Mrs. Lion: No.
Lion: But I want to show it to my friends.
Mrs. Lion: No
Lion: It’s just for one day. I promise I won’t      ask to use it again.
Mrs. Lion: *SWAT*

Perhaps my friend needs to borrow some paddles. Lion would never tell me I’d won the battle but not the war. Actually, we don’t fight much. Never have. But now I just give him a look and remind him that I have an arsenal of paddles that agree with me. That usually stops any grumbling.

By:
In: Female led relationship with discipline, Lion's Journal

Even after all this time we sometimes struggle with whether or not we practice “true” FLR. I think the reason we do is that there are a lot of expectations floating around out there that don’t feel a bit like what we do. So, maybe it’s time that I take a shot at a definition that seems to work for Mrs. Lion and I.

First off, having been a 24/7 Master in days gone by, I can say with some authority that no realistic full-time power exchange can survive as the micro-management fantasy most people think about when we mention FLR. Being in charge doesn’t mean standing over your partner with a whip in hand. It also doesn’t have to mean that domestic duties automatically transfer to the male.

I know, I know, lots of fantasies revolve around a husband/wife role exchange. In my opinion that’s a BDSM scene, not a lifestyle. Mrs. Lion and I are partners. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for her with or without FLR. We take care of each other. That hasn’t changed since we began enforced chastity and FLR. I don’t expect it ever will. We divide chores. True, Mrs. Lion can assign them to me without consultation, but we still divide them.

I can hear you thinking, “Where’s the female led relationship?” We have one. For example, Mrs. Lion can make and enforce rules. If I break a rule, I get punished; not BDSM-play punished, but a spanking that hurts and carries no sexual arousal.

I have to be obedient, not just cooperative. On the surface they look the same, but they are very different. If I am asked to do something, or, for that matter, to stop doing something, I have to; right then and there. Cooperation requires my agreement. Obedience has no need for my input.

Because she can require me to do as she wishes, doesn’t mean Mrs. Lion goes out of her way to find ways to make me feel her power. That wastes her energy and does nothing for me. If she thinks I am forgetting my place, she only has to give me a “maintenance” spanking and my memory is quickly refreshed.

In my world, FLR isn’t a hot practice out of a fantasy blog. It’s a consciously adopted practice that gives Mrs. Lion real and permanent authority. That’s plenty. We are working hard to make it a consistent part of our lives.