The Internet is famous for discussions ad-nauseum about definitions. It sort of makes sense. In a medium composed of words, the meaning of nouns can define some people. In our particular little corner of the kink world, there is no clear agreement on the exact meaning of enforced chastity or female led relationships (marriage).

For example, is someone practicing enforced chastity if he isn’t wearing a locking chastity device? Does the word “enforced” refer to physically restraining the penis or does it mean that someone other than the man wearing the penis control what it does?

A couple of years ago, I would have argued that the locking device is essential for enforced chastity. After all, without this hardware, cheating is easy and not easy to detect. So, if there is a trust issue, then enforced chastity requires physical restraint. If mental control is sufficient, the enforcement doesn’t need the hardware.

Of course, a lot of us like the idea of wearing a chastity device. It’s hot. It’s what we fantasized about before actually doing it. Mine has been off for a few weeks now. I like the freedom. I also enjoy the unrestrained erections that come my way. I’ve been thinking about whether I should discuss this with Mrs. Lion. I like being wild, but the cage does prevent those erections. I have a concern. My new job requires business casual dress. Until now, I wore jeans and the cage was invisible. I’m not so sure it won’t show up with Dockers. Of course we can test and see if Mrs. Lion wants me locked up.

Sometimes it’s hard to separate what is essentially a bondage fetish from the actual practice of enforced chastity. Let’s face it, most of the guys wearing chastity devices are doing it because they find it a turn on; Ironic, but true. I do like bondage and wearing the cage is certainly penis bondage.

Whether or not I am wearing the Jail Bird, I am under enforced chastity. I can get in a touch here or there, but I am absolutely not going to masturbate. As far as I can tell, being wild permits me to make things worse for myself. If I do any self-stimulation I know I can’t really continue beyond starting to get hard. I just can’t. I know I’m not allowed to touch myself sexually. So, I don’t.

Knowing I could masturbate is way harder to handle than knowing I am physically prevented from doing it. The device takes any choice out of my chastity. Without it, I am willingly obeying because I have surrendered my sexual pleasure to my keyholder. The real key, after all, isn’t the one that unlocks the hardware; it’s my surrender to my lioness.


  1. Author

    After reading about chastity and keyholders for several years, I really wanted to be locked up. I finally bought a cheap CB something or other knock off. I presented it to my wife with great expectations. I wore it one day but she did not find it as exciting as I did. She found it to be somewhat intimidating and restrictive to her access of my cock.
    So much for dreams of her carrying my key and keeping me locked up at her mercy!
    She does control when I am allowed to orgasm, but it is really up to me to not do so. She has not told me that I can not masturbate or have an orgasm without her, but I have decided that I will not do that. That would be having sex without her and I won’t do that, not anymore. On the other hand, she is free to masturbate and orgasm as often as she wishes, whether I am there or not. I find it exciting that she is free to have that pleasure while I remain denied and frustrated.

  2. Author

    I wear my cage below whatever I am wearing. Under dockers and under dress clothes. Even under workout clothes. No one has ever guessed it’s there. But you are correct when saying it isn’t necessary. Still I like being made to wear it as it emphasizes who is in charge and promotes the power exchange.

Comments are closed.