My last post talked about male masturbation control and the question of what, if any controls the keyholder/disciplining wife should have on her solo sessions. There was a comment responding to the post that cites a classic male fantasy about masturbation control. Here’s an excerpt from the comment:

Female masturbation is not prohibited as there is no loss of Jing (life essence). I lose no chi or jing when I orgasm. I don’t masturbate, but it wouldn’t matter if I did as it wouldn’t impact the frequency of intimacy I would have with my husband. I can have 18 orgasms and be energized. Whereas the detrimental effects of semen depletion are observable in males.”

Here’s how she handles violations by her husband:

“I bought a shock training collar used to humanely train dogs.”

“The settings go from 1-100 on the remote for the collar. I wanted to do it just as a demonstration, and set it to 1. It delivered a very aversive stimulus. It’s stopped masturbation for the last year and any intentional spills during intercourse.”

Hot stuff? I don’t want to take up too much space, but I have read very close versions of this same story on multiple blogs. If you aren’t actually under orgasm control, this story offers super masturbation fodder. But sadly, it’s just a story. How do I know?

  1. Masturbation is a self-reported “crime.” If the consequence of confession is so dire it will stop masturbation (which he can do in secret with little-to-no risk of discovery), wouldn’t the logical outcome be that he just stop telling her? The only way she could come close to discovering his naughty behavior is to masturbate him to orgasm and measure the semen output. But wait! My semen output varies widely even though I never masturbate. You get the point.
  2. Shock collars are unsafe worn around the neck. The ones intended for large dogs can indeed offer extremely uncomfortable shocks. But none on the market have 100 levels. Also, none generate an uncomfortable shock at the lowest settings. How do I know? We have a small dog collar I sometimes have to wear under my balls. I have a large dog collar we tested and found too powerful. The lowest setting on the big dog collar was barely perceptible. The difference between the 20 settings was too great to get good lion control.
  3. Semen depletion initiates a refractory period. This is the time it takes for the male to “recharge” and be able to orgasm again. It has nothing to do with semen production. The refractory period is, however, triggered when semen is depleted.  That’s why some men can have multiple ruined orgasms until they run out of semen. Many younger men have a refractory period as short as ten minutes. Senior citizens can have them as long as a week or more.
  4. If her partner’s behavior is so boorish if he is sexually sated, why the hell is she with him?

The person who posted the comment cited above (he, among others, calls himself Anonymous. It must have been a popular baby name.) added another comment after I made a brief reply:

“Let me just say that I like your blog because with all the caging, FLR, DD, etc., there always seems to be a real mutual love and caring between you and Mrs. Lion. However, I see other blogs (like the one that I cited) in which I see none of that. Kudos to you guys for showing people how all of this can be done without denigrating, disrespecting, and disregarding your partner.”

That comment was going to be my fifth point. People just can’t live 24/7 with, as he put it, “ denigrating, disrespecting, and disregarding your partner.” Maybe for play sessions the two can take on these roles. But every day, I sure doubt it. I would be surprised if a woman even wrote the various aversion masturbation training posts. I’ve never met a woman that obsessed with male masturbation. And, no one since the mid-nineteenth century has proposed that male masturbation had any systemic effects on the guys who jerk off.

In the cold light of rational, critical reading, it’s obvious how patently ridiculous these stories are. But then if you suspend disbelief…


  1. Author

    I was trying to illiustrate the point of your “Gander” post with something I had just read. I kind of feel like the point of your post here was to suggest I’m an idiot for believing what I read (after having also had a dialogue with the author in which she defended her actions) and that there’s something wrong with not giving you a name. Would an alias have made it more palatable?

    1. Author

      First of all, we have a number of commenters who identify themselves as “Anonymous”. That makes it more difficult to get to know them since sorting out multiple people with the same alias can be difficult.

      My point was stated in the title. Many of the most exciting sexual fantasies can’t stand the cold light of day. I’m quite good at suspending disbelief when reading a hot story. However, trying to actually live the fantasy doesn’t usually work out. I wasn’t judging you.

  2. Author

    I read the original post regarding male masturbation before you commented on it. I was not really believing the “100” levels not the fact that level 1 was a sufficient deterrent to stop masturbation for a whole year. So I am in full agreement there. However I do believe a woman can masturbate without many of the ill-effects males suffer. Being multiorgasmic has it’s perks!

  3. Author

    Setting aside both Lion’s and Anonymous’ comments, there has been quite a bit written about other ramifications of male orgasm denial, specifically the interplay of the various hormone levels during sexual excitement (dopamine and oxytocin) versus those in effect after orgasm (prolactin). Basically, the idea is that higher levels of the first two promote loving feelings and actions (oxytocin is sometimes called the “cuddle” hormone); at the time of orgasm in males, a dump of prolactin occurs which blocks the receptors for these – especially dopamine – leading to the drop in intimate feelings that seems to occur after (male) orgasm.

    The effects of this are difficult to quantify, but do seem to be real. In my younger days, before I accepted that it’s OK to be kinky, I’d often feel “dirty” immediately after a particularly good orgasm from some “deviant” behavior. Now days, I definitely feel closer to my wife after a few days of denial (it’s been about two weeks, now).

    She says that I act more solicitous towards her, but it’s really more that she surfaces more readily in my thoughts, and therefore things that I can do that would be nice for her (bringing her coffee in the shower, for example) just occur to me more often. I would happily do these things any time anyway, if I thought of them.

    Because it’s subtle, it took her a while to get past my overt actions to realize this other effect on my behavior, but she likes it! As a result, she seems to be keeping me locked more of the time now, since it’s no longer just a kink she enables for me. Additionally, it’s rewarding to me, not because she’s “superior” or I’m submissive (I’m not), but because it makes me feel good when she’s happy.

    Of course, I do like a nice orgasm occasionally, too… 🙂

  4. Author

    I too enjoy the locked condition and introduced it as an excuse to stop guilty feelings about my personal masturbations. But I now realize my servant desires are fed through being locked and that making me helpless in some small way. Why even doing the dishes is arousing while. I am locked. She on the other hand only likes the servant attribute it brings out in me. So with the fact that I can remain horny this way more pleasing can be kept up.

  5. Author

    I know that for this keyhole thing to work the party wanting to stay locked is getting something from the helpless feelings and wants to make serving part of the equation. My ability to switch if that ever is an option will have me controlling the sensuality of my partner. In all this I can appreciate how women can serve so naturally.

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