By:
In: 2.0, Mrs Lion Comments

I was not feeling well last night so we didn’t play. I have no idea if Lion was horny or not. I was in no shape to even ask. Eventually he asked if I wanted him to put on his ring so I could lock him up. I didn’t. He asked if I was giving him a vacation. I’m hoping I will feel better tonight so we can play. Why lock him up just to unlock him again? I suppose that’s true of every other night that I play with him, but I was just not in 2.0 mode last night. Besides, he took good care of me while I was yucky.

I’m a little annoyed that I needed the break after the re-emergence of 2.0. She should have had Lion’s balls in clothespins or Velcro wrapped around him. Even if it was “just” edging, she should have been doing something. I know life intrudes and all that, but Lion needs consistency. One night won’t necessarily be a problem, I know. So I’ve got to get back up on the horse, so to speak. Tonight, no matter what I feel like, we’re playing. 2.0 has spoken.

For now, Lion is a wild boy. When I gave him a kiss goodbye this morning I grabbed his wild weenie. He jumped. Yesterday he said he kept forgetting he didn’t have his cage on. He’d reach down to adjust and there was nothing to adjust. And I assume he had similar issues when peeing. He’s so used to sitting down, he forgets he can stand when he’s wild. That’s good. He should be conditioned this way. I don’t care if he pees standing or sitting, but he should have the caged mentality all the time. No playing with Mr. Weenie or anyone else for that matter. He’s mine and, while I share a lot of things, I don’t share Mr. Weenie with anyone. Not even Lion.

By:
In: Chastity games, Lion's Journal
countdown
When the 10 second countdown reaches zero and she isn’t “ready”, there is no chance for sex tonight.

Yesterday, we got a very interesting comment from Jane, a new reader. She publishes an interesting Tumblr blog. She and husband practice enforced chastity. Part of her comment mentioned a practice that she uses to give him a “chance” to have sex. In her words:

“…we have a ‘ten second rule’ for him playing with me to see if I get switched on into doing more. But also I’m starting to love the fact I really can just roll over and say ‘not tonight dear’ and leave him horny and frustrated, and he LIKES that (in moderation, but still, it’s turned a negative into a positive,which is fab!)”

A ten-second rule; what an interesting idea. Ten seconds isn’t very long to get a woman interested, but it is better than no chance at all. I’m not sure this would work for us, though. Mrs. Lion’s libido hasn’t returned. However, only a short “try” might not be too annoying and might serve as a wake-up call to her sleeping libido. Mrs. Lion and I notwithstanding, I think this is a brilliant idea. In one sense it is a chastity “game”. He has a chance, albeit a small one, to have his way. On off nights, she gets an opportunity to exercise her power and roll over. It’s a sexual win-win.

This is another example of a sexual communication that brings a couple closer. It’s also a very positive use of the sexual surrender we caged males offer. Underlying the chastity theme, this practice is a great example of non-verbal communication. Permission is given to try to sexually stimulate the keyholder. If she doesn’t find this short opportunity sufficiently stimulating, sexual activity is over for the night. He has a choice. He can try turning her on or not. He knows that he has to get her interested enough to continue or he goes unsatisfied.

In a very real sense this is a mating dance that many animal species perform. The male has to strut his stuff and hope he impresses a female enough to have her allow him to mount her. Without trying to read too much into this, it’s clear that in most species the female has absolute veto rights. I suppose that’s true of humans too. However, in most cases we males use guilt and pouting as well as other negative behavior to “convince” our females to get us off.

I think that this is due to the fact that over the thousands of years of “civilization” we humans have lost the sexual “sense” that serves less complicated critters so well. Enforced chastity restores this primitive and effective power balance. The cages we wear make “No.” a very easy and practical answer for our partners. More importantly, we have to accept this response with grace. In fact, we become conditioned to actually enjoy this rejection. If anything, it stimulates us to try harder the next time.

Ten seconds is a very short time. Sexual desire is a very good teacher. Need is the best motivator in the world.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Sometimes a Lion just needs to be wild. Maybe it’s less of a need and more of a want, but when Lion asked if he could be wild for his interview today, I agreed. I didn’t ask why. I didn’t give him any grief. Whatever I can do to help him find a job is OK with me. Of course, if he said he needed to be wild until he finds a job, there would be a discussion. For a day, it’s no problem. Good luck, my pet.

It didn’t surprise me at all when Lion wasn’t frisky last night. He did just have an orgasm on Sunday. He’s usually less interested the day after. And he’s thinking about his interview. So no play. I wasn’t thinking about Zapardy until halfway through Jeopardy. It’s just as well if he wasn’t horny. And I completely forgot it was punishment night until Lion reminded me at 7. My phone would have reminded me, but it was good to know Lion was on top of it.

I don’t know how we’ll feel tonight, but I’ll have something planned. I’ll follow Lion’s cues to see whether we play or not. Despite his idea that I should continue with plans whether he wants to or not, it would be very difficult to edge him if he’s not up to it. And play is pointless if he’s not the least bit horny. I mean, I can try, but at a certain point if he’s not responding there’s not much I can do. We haven’t gotten to the point of his getting hard when I snap my fingers. I was just being funny when I tried that anyway. I never expected him to get hard on command.

So I’m playing things by ear again. 2.0 will give things the old college try and see how it goes. My guess is, with her encouragement, Lion will be unable to resist for long. She has a certain way about her that makes her hard to ignore. Especially when she’s armed with one of the various toys around the house.

By:
In: Lion's Journal, Male Chastity
chastity device
Does this really look like a medieval torture device?

I’ve had the chance to talk to a few men who were curious about enforced chastity. They had heard of it and decided to dig deeper. I, in turn, got a chance to learn what assumptions they were holding on the subject. Generally, they assumed that enforced male chastity is an extremely kinky practice. Their impressions were reinforced by pictures of chastity devices. They assumed these devices were painful, medieval torture machines and that any man who would willingly wear one was incredibly deviant.

Well, my Jail Bird doesn’t exactly look cozy and welcoming. I can see how it would be easy to assume that being forced to wear one of these would be a painful experience. Other devices look even more ferocious.

Another assumption is that this device is worn as a “punishment” and that there was no sexual activity during the time the guy had to wear it. Nobody imagined that anyone actually wore one of these things all the time. When I pointed out that in fact, I have had mine on for years, the interviewer began talking with me like I was a dangerous psychotic. What normal male would subject himself to such torture for years on end? One guy actually asked me that question.

There’s no question that until very recently very few people even knew there was such a thing as enforced male chastity. Until Fifty Shades of Grey most people never knew about BDSM. We belong to a very exclusive fraternity.

Once we get past the obligatory amazement that I would subject myself to such torture, the education begins. My first point is that wearing my chastity device is not painful, not even uncomfortable. When I say that I often forget that it is even there, my words are greeted with disbelief. “Really,” I say, “it’s true. I am completely comfortable.”

Then we get to the subject of sex. The first question is whether I have had to give up sex? I laugh and say, “Oh no.” The next few minutes cover edging, ruined orgasms, and the fun of being tree-humping horny. Invariably, at the beginning the questioner says, “I could never do that.” I disregard that statement.  After discussing the way Mrs. Lion and I practice enforced chastity, the comment is a wonderous, “Really?”

I’m very sure I haven’t converted anyone to this practice. I never wanted to. My point is always that what we do may be unusual, it isn’t necessarily crazy. As a couple, we get very significant value from enforced chastity. It’s helped us handle issues that were causing us pain and were building a gap between us. What we do isn’t about hardware. It also isn’t all about the power exchange. I think it is about consistent communication. We aren’t that different from other couples who never heard of enforced chastity. It’s just that we have found a simple tool that brings us closer and makes us both happier people.

By the end of the conversation, there is acknowledgment that what we do seems strange in some ways, but in other, more important ways, it is a unique solution to problems that plague most couples. No matter what my questioner thinks about what we do, he has to realize it works for us.