This last weekend was one of our busiest in a long time. Sunday, we watched the two playoff games; well, all of the Patriots/Broncos game, and almost the first half of the NFC championship. I made meatballs and spaghetti for dinner. I dripped some sauce on my t-shirt (all I am allowed to wear at home) which will earn me a spanking tonight. Sigh. We were both very tired last night and since I had a scheduled orgasm Saturday night, Mrs. Lion took the night off and I stayed in my cage.
I like to read other people’s blogs. It’s interesting to see their spin on enforced chastity and FLR (FLR). It’s not always easy to separate wishful thinking from reporting, but in a few cases I’m pretty sure I am reading the real story. My travels through the blogosphere sometimes yield ideas that I pass on to Mrs. Lion. More often than not these suggestions draw the famous lioness eye roll.
You’d think I would know better. Here I am preaching “Go slow.”, “Let things evolve.” and my emails to Mrs. Lion are bristling with new ideas. It’s my nature to be that way. Mrs. Lion knows this well, hence the eye rolls. After the sigh, usually implied rather than expressed, followed by the eye roll, Mrs. Lion gives me her famous,
“We could try that.”
More often than not, this is the last I hear of it. But sometimes she surprises me and I get to experience what I suggested she might try. I wrote about my most recent suggestion for a way that Mrs. Lion can more easily note infractions: the lion bank (post). The bank arrived yesterday. Mrs. Lion put it on top of our bedroom TV console. That’s the same unit that holds our orgasm calendars. Being my very subtle self, I asked her if she needed some pennies. She told me she had plenty. Inscrutable as ever, she gave no hint of whether she would use the bank to collect future swats.
This isn’t evasion. She was tired and very often doesn’t know whether or not she will do something until she either does it, or it just slips away in the current of time. We are opposites in this respect. I plan and execute. Even things that look spontaneous are often thought through, at least a little. Mrs. Lion thinks about a lot of things, frequently in great depth. But she rarely turns those thoughts into plans. Planning and making lists are not natural activities for my lioness.
You can see how we can endlessly frustrate one another. Now that she is in charge, I look to her for decisions; more than she might want to make at any given time. She rarely growls, but maybe a few “I’ll tell you when I am ready” responses would remind me of my place. You already know I’m not submissive. I am obedient if reminded of what happens when I’m not.
A lot of people appear to believe that being locked in enforced chastity and subject to a female led relationship means the male is submissive by nature. I don’t think that’s as true as some think. I am somewhat submissive to Mrs. Lion. I have a lot of training needed before I truly accept that role. But I am absolutely not submissive by nature. I am used to being in charge and I have some skills as a dominant.
I made the choice to be submissive to my lioness. I agreed to abide by that choice. If I change my mind, I agreed that I can’t just stop. In the event I no longer want to be in enforced chastity or submissive to Mrs. Lion, she has to agree to release me. Otherwise I remain in this role. It is still a choice I made and an agreement I will keep.
A lion can’t change his spots (if he had any). As Popeye said, “I yam what I yam.” Does that mean I can’t submit if I wish? Nope, it doesn’t. Does it mean I am a “converted” dominant? That’s just silly.
I enjoy reading your blog–in particular Mrs. Lioness 2.0. I love the woman’s perspective! I am in the middle of my first trial chastity contract. Whether there is another will largely depend on Mrs. CM. At times she seems to like it but at other times she seems stressed by it. Time will tell…
I believe the best definition of dominant/submissive is if one feels so. Leave it subjective rather than objective. If the wife asks laundry to be done, and the husband complies quickly, even cheerfully and promptly, would the husband be the submissive one? Not if the husband has the goal of training the wife to be more dominant. The husband just engaged in “behavior modification,” or training of her wife, by complying promptly. It’s not any different from training circus animals. The husband is training the wife? By being submissive? Isn’t that a logical contradiction?
At times both my wife and I feel dominant, and the other one is submissive, simultaneously. Logical impossibility. But logic doesn’t apply to how one feels, does it?
For example, one time, my wife “ordered” me to pick out a restaurant. If I picked out the wrong one in her mind, there would be consequences. That’s all that was said, and I had to make a decision in seconds before we missed the freeway exit. I made the final decision. It was not a “wrong” one, but she never told me what the wrong ones are. Who was really in charge? The one who made the final decision? Or the one who had the veto power?
A psychologist will have a very different definition of dominant/submissive than BDSM or FLR culture. I don’t worry about these anymore. I go to FLR blogs and sites looking for ideas, go over them with my wife, and try them out. Or not, as my wife has veto power.
This often happens with us. She is in charge. Ordering to make a choice subject to her approval is definitely putting her in the dominant role.
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