Consent and Safe Words

Monday night was an exceptional night for lion sex. I not only got to have an orgasm, Mrs. Lion rode me all the way. I love that! She seems to prefer using lube when masturbating me. This is new and I am really enjoying the change. The only thing that could be better would be Mrs. Lion also enjoying an orgasm too. I remain hopeful that her libido will return.

Mrs. Lion’s post yesterday talked about how she copes with my kinky needs. She thought I would be upset that she assumes the dominant role without getting aroused when she does. I’m not. When I was topping I can’t say that the various ways I tortured bottoms turned me on. I took pride in the skills I developed using various toys. I liked that I could edge my (female) partners endlessly. A woman can be held on the edge of orgasm for a very long time. I liked the results of my training and conditioning. But I can’t say that I was turned on.

I never needed an alter ego. I think it is because I knew from the start that I was doing exactly what my bottoms wanted. They may not like what I did, but they wanted and needed it. How do I know? They told me. It was all completely consensual. Of course, “consensual” is a tricky word in the context of sensation play. During a session is not a good time to check in to see if the bottom still wants what she is getting. That’s why there are safe words. Maybe Mrs. Lion would feel better if we have a safe word.

I think many people misunderstand the full extent of consensual kink. In the classic two-hour scene, consent is granted to the top to provide sensation within the hard limits of the bottom. For safety, a safe word is provided and is always respected. It could be argued that FLM, domestic discipline, and enforced chastity go far beyond “scenes” and the normal rules of consensual play don’t apply. I disagree.

There is clear and continuing consent for Mrs. Lion to punish me, make and enforce rules, and prevent me from having orgasms. We have agreed this consent goes to March 2016 at which time it can be revoked or renewed. I’ve let her know (and you as well) that I want her to be strict and to seriously punish me when needed. She has my consent to withhold any sexual activity for as long as she wants. This consent is irrevocable until next March. That is by my request.

One thing we don’t have is a safe word. Up until now it hasn’t been needed. Mrs. Lion hasn’t pushed me hard enough to make one necessary. If she is going to continue to escalate spankings and other physical punishments, then we should have one. I’ll have to think about what would work. The problem with safe words is that they are too easy to forget if needed. I’ll have to ponder that. Maybe having a safe word will make it easier for Mrs. Lion to push harder.

Some people argue that safe words shouldn’t apply to punishment. The reasoning is that punishment is supposed to hurt and hurt a lot. In a normal scene, punishment-level spanking, for example, would almost certainly provoke the safe word to be called. So, I have to remember that my safe word is not to be used because the punishment is too intense. It is only to be used if it is an emergency. I think it is a good idea to have one. Maybe it will help Mrs. Lion feel better about being strict.


What do you think?