March 2015 (Page 4)

Yesterday was just an off day all around. Both Mrs. Lion and I were a bit out of sorts. We aren’t sick. Maybe it is just cloudy weather, or the season. Who knows? I do know that after a massive tease and deny on Tuesday night, sex is never far from the front of my mind. Being horny has a new face now that I have been locked so long. My body only tries to get hard when I am sleeping and my brain must be doing system tests. At times like this, even though I badly want sex, my penis stays dutifully soft in its steel cage. It knows that erection is futile to attempt. Part of this may be age, but most, I am sure, is a new, learned response to my continual confinement.

I realize that I have changed. I haven’t masturbated since February 2014. Even when unlocked, the inclination to play with myself isn’t there any longer. My need for release is stronger than ever. It just doesn’t seem very well connected to the object that gives me the release. Am I impotent? No, I get hard almost the instant Mrs. Lion plays with my penis. A few strokes from her and I am on my way. But when I am wild and in the shower, I can wash it all night and it remains at ease.

Of course there have been times when I find myself straining at my cage. Any time I am giving Mrs. Lion an orgasm, my penis tries to break out of its cage. Seeing sexy women elicits no reaction. Porn is more intellectually interesting. It can feed my mental arousal, but Mr. Weenie is unimpressed. I’m trying to understand what this means.

Am I now physically responsive to a much narrower range of stimuli? Is it restricted to Mrs. Lion alone? I won’t find that out since Mrs. Lion is not inclined to give anyone else a chance to do any lion petting. It would be interesting to test the theory and see if a pinch hitter could ring lion chimes. It’s just intellectually interesting to me. Am I under orgasm control involuntarily? Is that even possible?

I always thought that there was a chance that the combination of making physical arousal and release impossible without Mrs. Lion, and Mrs. Lion regularly providing arousal and release, would condition me to be unable to get aroused or come any other way, including unsupervised masturbation. It’s very unlikely that I am truly incapable of independent arousal and orgasm; at least not yet. But I know for sure that any activity that isn’t performed by Mrs. Lion will be much more difficult than it was before we started all this.

Many guys say that they want exactly this sort of conditioning. Others want to reduce the number of, or eliminate any orgasms they can have. I don’t want that to happen to me. I didn’t have the wish that my body would become incapable of release without my lioness. I have the cage for that purpose. I like the idea that the cage has a real purpose: it makes it impossible for me to get hard or come unless my lioness permits it. I suppose it is inevitable that 24/7 wearing of a chastity device will have some effects on me physically and mentally. I can’t test my theory, my commitment and my cage prevent that. But it is interesting to realize that changes are taking place that are beyond my control. Am I becoming a tame lion?

In my opinion, relationships evolve or end. Evolution is driven by necessity — financial changes, illness, etc. — or by changes in tastes or interests. Change is the norm in our universe. This may seem obvious, but to many it is inconceivable that the person he or she married would change. So, when I finally asked my sweet lioness to lock my penis, I introduced a big change in our relationship. Instantly, we had a new dynamic; Mrs. Lion was faced with a drastic change in our sex life. To her credit, she agreed to do it. My request and her acceptance set in motion evolutionary changes in our relationship.

Unsurprisingly, we started with Mrs. Lion taking my cues as to what I expected to happen. She unlocked me and gave me orgasms essentially when I wanted them. In a short time that changed. Evolution came on two tracks: The first was behavioral. Mrs. Lion learned the rhythms of my desire and used them to assure I understood she was in control. The second was more profound. We both discovered that enforced chastity could bring back physical intimacy we had lost over the years. Since I was made unable to provide myself with any sexual relief, Mrs. Lion realized she had accepted the responsibility of providing me with that relief.

She hadn’t assumed I was “taking care” of myself. She just didn’t think about sex. The chastity device forced her to think about sex, at least in terms of me. She decided that since she wasn’t particularly interested in sex for herself, she should schedule sexual activities for me. So, she decided to tease me every other day and give me orgasms when she decided I should get them. Sex became front of mind for both of us.

I have always been turned on by D/S¹. She knew that from the time before we lived together. In our early relationship she would tie me up and spank me. She would also straddle my face for oral sex. Almost all of our intercourse was in the cowgirl² position. We stopped this activity almost ten years ago. I told her I could live without it, and I did. But the truth is that I missed it terribly. Soon after I asked her to lock me up, she suggested that we might start some of that activity again. She started spanking me again. The combination of sexual interest and the D/S felt wonderful to me. Mrs. Lion could see that she was making me very happy, if frustrated by orgasm control.

Over the last year, we became more physically intimate with each other. While Mrs. Lion’s interest in sex hasn’t returned, she enjoys pleasing me and the renewed physical closeness we enjoy. Enforced chastity can be a slippery slope. Once started, other possibilities present themselves. Both of us, for different reasons, enjoy Mrs. Lion’s sexual control. I began to wonder how it would be if we expanded her control. I’ve always been turned on by fantasies of being disciplined. I realize that these fantasies are based on my childhood when my parents essentially abandoned me to hired caregivers. I was never disciplined. So I associate discipline with caring. The thought of it is also intensely erotic for me.

A year and two months into enforced chastity, I asked Mrs. Lion to try FLR³. She bravely agreed to give it a try. Just like enforced chastity, we are starting off with me providing a lot of input. However, this time Mrs. Lion is taking over much more quickly. She immediately recognized that it was difficult for her to spank me with the intention of hurting me. So she gave me “maintenance” spankings every night as a way to gain comfort administering punishment spankings. She told me she is now comfortable spanking me hard and long. That’s where we are  with FLR.

The next step is for her to recognize things I do that need correction. Again, like our adventure in enforced chastity, we are starting by consciously finding reasons to discipline. That may seem artificial and not totally in the spirit of FLR. That’s not correct. We are both learning to evolve into Mrs. Lion’s new control. We both have to form the necessary habits that support her authority.

Some people believe that domination and submission are organic. Our efforts, they say, wouldn’t be necessary if I were naturally submissive and Mrs. Lion naturally dominant. I disagree. It’s true that if I were naturally submissive, the transition might be easier for me. But I would argue that our natures — dominant or submissive — have nothing to do with FLR. FLR is a consensual activity negotiated between two people. It is not some inherent expression of inner nature. True, a lot of people end up with one partner dominating the relationship. This is due to the dominance of one partner. FLR, like enforced chastity, is a D/S activity negotiated between the people practicing it.

FLR is negotiated. Limits are respected. It is a conscious agreement between the partners. Our evolution into FLR is a sensible approach to long-term D/S activity. Mrs. Lion punishes me because we agreed that is how we want to proceed. Just as I no longer can come when I am horny, I also agree to let Mrs. Lion make any decision for me if she wants. She has the right to make and enforce rules. I have agreed that she can punish me if she wishes. Her role and mine are by agreement and negotiation. We are just beginning to evolve into our new roles.

1. D/S — Domination and Submission.
2. Cowgirl — Position for intercourse where the man is on his back and the woman straddles him like riding a horse, or in this case, a lion. We call it Lion Riding.
3. FLR — Female led relationship.

Mrs. Lion wondered what coupons I have. Here is the inventory of coupons available to me as of today:
3 One day uncaged1 Weekend breakfast of my choice

1 Orgasm of my choice (oral, etc.)
2 Lion’s choice: anything I want
6 Extra play sessions (non-orgasmic)
1 Deduct one misbehavior from offense list
3 Reduce wait by one day
1 Weekend breakfast

That’s quite a pile of goodies! Of course, I can’t use the reduce wait time coupons since I don’t have any idea when I will next orgasm. The others, however are available. Some expire by 8/1. Most are available until used. I’m not sure I will use the orgasm coupon. Though, I may change my mind over time. It doesn’t expire.