In my opinion, relationships evolve or end. Evolution is driven by necessity — financial changes, illness, etc. — or by changes in tastes or interests. Change is the norm in our universe. This may seem obvious, but to many it is inconceivable that the person he or she married would change. So, when I finally asked my sweet lioness to lock my penis, I introduced a big change in our relationship. Instantly, we had a new dynamic; Mrs. Lion was faced with a drastic change in our sex life. To her credit, she agreed to do it. My request and her acceptance set in motion evolutionary changes in our relationship.

Unsurprisingly, we started with Mrs. Lion taking my cues as to what I expected to happen. She unlocked me and gave me orgasms essentially when I wanted them. In a short time that changed. Evolution came on two tracks: The first was behavioral. Mrs. Lion learned the rhythms of my desire and used them to assure I understood she was in control. The second was more profound. We both discovered that enforced chastity could bring back physical intimacy we had lost over the years. Since I was made unable to provide myself with any sexual relief, Mrs. Lion realized she had accepted the responsibility of providing me with that relief.

She hadn’t assumed I was “taking care” of myself. She just didn’t think about sex. The chastity device forced her to think about sex, at least in terms of me. She decided that since she wasn’t particularly interested in sex for herself, she should schedule sexual activities for me. So, she decided to tease me every other day and give me orgasms when she decided I should get them. Sex became front of mind for both of us.

I have always been turned on by D/S1. She knew that from the time before we lived together. In our early relationship she would tie me up and spank me. She would also straddle my face for oral sex. Almost all of our intercourse was in the cowgirl2 position. We stopped this activity almost ten years ago. I told her I could live without it, and I did. But the truth is that I missed it terribly. Soon after I asked her to lock me up, she suggested that we might start some of that activity again. She started spanking me again. The combination of sexual interest and the D/S felt wonderful to me. Mrs. Lion could see that she was making me very happy, if frustrated by orgasm control.

Over the last year, we became more physically intimate with each other. While Mrs. Lion’s interest in sex hasn’t returned, she enjoys pleasing me and the renewed physical closeness we enjoy. Enforced chastity can be a slippery slope. Once started, other possibilities present themselves. Both of us, for different reasons, enjoy Mrs. Lion’s sexual control. I began to wonder how it would be if we expanded her control. I’ve always been turned on by fantasies of being disciplined. I realize that these fantasies are based on my childhood when my parents essentially abandoned me to hired caregivers. I was never disciplined. So I associate discipline with caring. The thought of it is also intensely erotic for me.

A year and two months into enforced chastity, I asked Mrs. Lion to try FLR3. She bravely agreed to give it a try. Just like enforced chastity, we are starting off with me providing a lot of input. However, this time Mrs. Lion is taking over much more quickly. She immediately recognized that it was difficult for her to spank me with the intention of hurting me. So she gave me “maintenance” spankings every night as a way to gain comfort administering punishment spankings. She told me she is now comfortable spanking me hard and long. That’s where we are  with FLR.

The next step is for her to recognize things I do that need correction. Again, like our adventure in enforced chastity, we are starting by consciously finding reasons to discipline. That may seem artificial and not totally in the spirit of FLR. That’s not correct. We are both learning to evolve into Mrs. Lion’s new control. We both have to form the necessary habits that support her authority.

Some people believe that domination and submission are organic. Our efforts, they say, wouldn’t be necessary if I were naturally submissive and Mrs. Lion naturally dominant. I disagree. It’s true that if I were naturally submissive, the transition might be easier for me. But I would argue that our natures — dominant or submissive — have nothing to do with FLR. FLR is a consensual activity negotiated between two people. It is not some inherent expression of inner nature. True, a lot of people end up with one partner dominating the relationship. This is due to the dominance of one partner. FLR, like enforced chastity, is a D/S activity negotiated between the people practicing it.

FLR is negotiated. Limits are respected. It is a conscious agreement between the partners. Our evolution into FLR is a sensible approach to long-term D/S activity. Mrs. Lion punishes me because we agreed that is how we want to proceed. Just as I no longer can come when I am horny, I also agree to let Mrs. Lion make any decision for me if she wants. She has the right to make and enforce rules. I have agreed that she can punish me if she wishes. Her role and mine are by agreement and negotiation. We are just beginning to evolve into our new roles.

1. D/S — Domination and Submission.
2. Cowgirl — Position for intercourse where the man is on his back and the woman straddles him like riding a horse, or in this case, a lion. We call it Lion Riding.
3. FLR — Female led relationship.