Last week I mentioned that sometimes I just want to be a wife instead of a top. I know I’m always Lion’s wife. What I meant was, sometimes I don’t want to think about the chastity or discipline aspects of things. Sometimes I want to give Lion an orgasm because I want to, not because the calendar says so. Conversely, I never want to give Lion a spanking because I want to. I never want to edge him because I want to. I never want to shove a butt plug in him because I want to. I don’t think I will ever independently want to do those things.

Last night my poor Lion was in a lot of pain. We think it had something to do with a new medication he started recently. If it had been a play night or an orgasm night, there’s no way he was in any shape to play. I would have postponed it and we would have picked it up tonight. At one point I said I was sorry he was in pain. He said I only want him to be in pain when I want him to be in pain. All I could say was “ok”. I know what he meant. I also know that I never really want him to be in pain. Ever. That’s the wife part of me talking. The top part of me doesn’t mind the kind of pain he wants to be in. That part of me thinks it’s somewhat amusing when he says something hurts. That part of me thinks “you asked for it, you silly Lion.” The wife part of me wishes I could have taken the pain he had last night and endured it myself. Anything to keep it from hurting him.

So I guess I’m developing a split personality of sorts. I think Lion assumes he’s talking to the top more often than he is. I’ll have to work on that.


Friday night was both tease and punishment night. Mrs. Lion forgot on Thursday. She wrote about that in her post Friday. There is a new rule here. I am to remind her of punishment night (Monday and Thursday) before 8:30 pm. OK, I can do that. I was dreading punishment time since Mrs. Lion had expressed a great deal of displeasure about how I handled her forgetting on Thursday. She straddled my back and gave me a few very painful swats with the bloodwood paddle. This paddle was made for me by John Hanson. He is one of the best paddle and strap makers in the world. I have a few of his creations. They are both beautiful and extremely effective as I learned anew on Friday night.

An hour or so later, Mrs. Lion did her tease session. Once again she gave me a ruined orgasm. This one was incredibly intense. She also fed me my semen. Yuck! The idea of eating semen is hot until just after I ejaculate. Then, it is gross to the extreme. Apparently I will be getting ruined orgasms each time I am teased until my next release date. I have very mixed feelings about them. The ruined orgasm does blunt my interest in coming for a day, but then I am hornier than ever. I’ve noticed that a day after a full orgasm I get very horny. Mrs. Lion’s current pattern gives me a day’s rest and then I am crazy to come again.

The point of teasing is, after all, to prevent me from losing interest in getting off. I have to say that my interest is very high. If anything, the ruined orgasms level things out, at least so far. They assure I stay interested, but I think that my desperation level doesn’t grow as much as it did when I was just teased and edged. This is the point where I usually get crazy to come and the depressed about being locked up. That hasn’t happened yet. I just really want an orgasm but can wait the ten days until my scheduled release. If she continues her experiment I will learn what effect a ruined orgasm every other day will have on me. I can report at this point that each one is more frustrating than the last. Also, it feels to me that each one takes longer to get me there. Is my body trying to resist the frustration? I just don’t know. Stay tuned,.