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In: Male Chastity
pill container that makes an excellent emergency key holder. serial-numbered labels can cover the seam to provide evidence of tampering.
Pill container that makes an excellent emergency key holder. Serial-numbered labels can cover the seam to provide evidence of tampering. (Click link for purchase information)

Most of the time it’s just fine being caged 24/7. But there are occasions when being locked up can cause embarrassment or worse. One example came up last week. I had developed a small blood clot in my leg. Fortunately it was superficial and posed no threat of traveling to my lungs. However, it did require several doctor visits. For one of them, Mrs. Lion and I both forgot that the visit was the next day and I went off to work in my cage. Only after I was at work did we both realize the error. Mrs. Lion had to meet me at the doctor’s office and had to remove my cage in the back seat of her truck before we went in. Admittedly, the worst that could have happened was that my doctor spied the bulge and asked a question. Not the worst thing in the world, but nothing either of us wanted to happen.

In a prior post, Mrs. Lion wrote about her concerns that I would need to be uncaged and she would not be available or the key would be in its hiding place at home. That got me thinking. I need an emergency key, but one that is stored in a way that will let Mrs. Lion know if I accessed it. I searched all over the web. I finally found an aluminum pill container small enough to fit on my key chain (photo right). The key, or in my case, the tool that opens my cage would fit inside.

As it turned out, the tool is slightly too long to fit. We are going to grind off some of the end and then it will be a nice, snug fit. That solves the “what” of where the emergency key goes. Now, we need a way to inform Mrs. Lion if I had my paws inside it. The solution to that turned out to be quite simple. A tamper-resistant label with a serial number on it would immediately reveal any attempt to extract the key (see photo below, left).

tamper resistant labels
Tamper-resistant labels will go around the container. Any attempt to open it will be immediately revealed. (click the image for purchase information)

Labels alone aren’t enough. A sneaky lion could remove the key, do the nasty, then return the key and use a new label. But this system is too smart for that. Every label has a unique serial number. Mrs. Lion can check the number of the label against one posted on the right side of the page and immediately determine if I have been accessing the key.

For additional security, the labels are holograms and the manufacturer guarantees there are no repeats of the serial number. This product is also available on amazon.com. For less than $15 you can have a secure way to provide an emergency key.

This system is also very useful for travel. The male can be uncaged before his trip. Upon arriving at the destination, he can lock himself up, put the key in the emergency container, seal it with a label, and take a picture of himself with the container, his cage, and the label on it with his phone and text it to you. Just before leaving for home, he can take the same picture again and text it to you. Then he can remove the key, unlock and go through airport security. Once safely home, you can lock him up again.

This may seem a little extreme. I don’t think it is. I know that I like the idea that my lioness is in firm charge under all conditions. Ideally I would never have access to a key. That would only work if I were with her constantly. Since that isn’t possible for most of us, we have to choose between taking the chance I will never need to be unlocked while Mrs. Lion isn’t with me, or provide me with a way to unlock myself if necessary.

As we all know, any cage that attaches via a cock and ball ring is almost certainly escapable with enough time and effort. There is a certain amount of trust in any forced male chastity relationship. I, for one, will never attempt to pull out of my cage. I’m certain it’s possible, but very difficult. But I won’t. This isn’t the same as being uncaged. The cage serves its purpose. It prevents me from getting hard and makes it impossible for me to have any form of sex while locked up. Giving me a key and “trusting” me just makes it too easy to cheat. While I won’t cheat, it feels a little insulting to remove any pretense of real physical control. The fact is that while I might (and I am not sure I can) pull out of the locked caged. I am 100-percent certain that I could never get back in. Mrs. Lion would find out. Similarly, if I have an emergency key and it is sealed as I described. I can unlock myself, but if I do, Mrs. Lion will find out. If my unauthorized release isn’t sufficiently urgent, I can expect severe punishment. So, it isn’t so much whether I can get out on my own, but whether I can do it without Mrs. Lion finding out. I don’t want to think about what would happen in that case. So you see, it really is forced male chastity. Just like any imprisonment, escape may be possible, but recapture results in terrible penalties.

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In: Advice for a new keyholder, Advice to caged males, Femdom, Keyholder, Lion's Journal
fatigue
Keyholders need TLC. Tops have needs too.

(Wednesday, May 14 2014) Most of what you read about forced male chastity is about how to deal with a caged male. Most of it is written by caged males, including me. If you go by what you read, the keyholder has the best job in the world; she gets anything she wants any time she wants. I remember when I was a top, I would ask self-proclaimed submissive women what they give back to their tops in exchange for the effort it takes to top them. Almost every new bottom answered, “The gift of my submission.” Some gift!

Topping is work. A successful keyholder, even in a rather vanilla relationship, has to put in substantial effort to support her caged male. She has to decide what he must do, how long to keep him locked, discipline, teasing, ruined orgasms, and other entertainments for him. The problem is that many caged males refuse to understand the reality of their caged male/keyholder relationships. The fantasy is that the caged male is a sexual captive who can only orgasm or even get erect at the whim of his keyholder. She, on the other hand, can demand endless sexual gratification at any time from him. He also may be required to perform domestic and personal tasks for his keyholder. In that context it does sound like the keyholder has all the goodies and the caged male is Cinderella hoping for some sexual scraps. That’s the fantasy. One reason many keyholders soon lose interest in forced male chastity is that the reality is very different. Let’s look at it from the keyholder’s perspective.

One day her partner tells her that he has been dreaming of forced male chastity. She agrees to lock him up because it is clearly something he wants badly. The early days are filled with mutual discoveries. Both keyholder and caged male enjoy this new game. She enjoys being pleasured at will. She probably also likes that her male is now paying much more attention to her. This chastity honeymoon goes on for a while. She learns about rules and discipline, toys, pegging, and other topping activities. Most keyholders don’t even realize that they are, in fact, topping.

The honeymoon ends when the keyholder realizes that even though her caged male is at her beck and call, she only gets sex when she demands it and lets him know exactly what she wants. She wakes up to the fact that she is spending considerable time and energy keeping him entertained with rules, punishments, and whatever else they do. In short, she discovers that topping is work. This is when WIIFM (What’s In It For Me) cuts in. She realizes that everything is coming from her. The caged male receives her attention, but she only gets what she demands in the context of topping.

In the BDSM world, this is known as “top drop”. The top feels let down. This is made worse by her own values changing. She learned it isn’t nice to hurt others or frustrate them. Now, her main purpose is to do that to her love; her caged male. This takes an emotional toll. Gone are the soft moments when he shared love and affection. They are replaced by her being a demanding bitch. Why is she doing this? What is she getting out of it? The standard male answer is “everything.” To many women it feels just the opposite. Her male has gone from lover to elaborate vibrator, providing orgasms on demand. This may sound extreme. I used this language intentionally. The key is that there is a growing imbalance between the keyholder and her male.

A friend of mine once described this problem very simply: The bottom gets “done” – receives sensation and emotional gratification from the top. The top “does” – performs the work needed to “do” the bottom. Even if the top likes doing, she is still working and giving while the bottom just has to receive. If the keyholder / caged male relationship is to survive, something must happen to restore balance.

First of all, the chores and sex on demand must be discounted. They are being performed because it fits the caged male’s bottom role. The keyholder has to do something in order to get those “benefits”. The caged male can not live in the forced chastity fantasy 24/7. If he does, his poor keyholder will almost certainly burn out. The male must go out of his forced chastity role and provide for the well being of his keyholder. What does this involve?

First thing, after the keyholder disciplines, pegs, or otherwise entertains her male, he should recognize that this effort took a physical and emotional toll. When the session is done, he should hold, kiss, and thank his keyholder for the effort she put in to support him. Not part of the fantasy? Too bad. If you want to do this long term, you better get used to supporting your keyholder. She needs to know that you appreciate what she is doing and that it is ok that she teases and frustrates you. You may hate breaking the mood, but for her well being, she needs to hear that she is doing something you want and like.

Another critical step is to take very regular vacations from forced chastity. During these chastity vacations, the male is uncaged and not subject to the rules or orders of his keyholder. She goes back to being his partner and lover. Go on a date. Eat out, watch a movie, make out, and make love. This time tihe man makes the moves. She gets to feel loved without the chastity overlay. Some couples reserve a weekend a month, others a day each weekend. You both have to decide and agree on how you will work this.

Keyholders, if your partner reads this and decides that he can’t possibly get out of chastity mode, then you should seriously consider if you want to continue locking him up. Top drop can turn into depression and feelings of failure. Just like I need to hear that I am a good boy, lioness needs to know how much I appreciate her hard work to cage me and support forced chastity. She needs to know that I want to have sex with her. I love it when she tells me what she wants, but even if she never tells me, I still want her. Chastity is something we do. It isn’t who we are.