Odds and Ends
It’s been a busy day. Lion is off getting a root canal and I’ve been swamped at work. I’ve finally made it to a point where I can take a breath and write a post.
Yesterday was an off day. Lion had his orgasm Sunday night and, although he was a little horny, he wasn’t grumbling. We snuggled a lot and that was enough for me. I bet he wanted some more attention, but snuggling is all he got.
Tonight, assuming he’s not hopped up on some high powered pain pills, we’ll play tonight. Most likely he’ll only be edged. There’s no reason he needs an orgasm right away. I think his date is still scheduled for tomorrow. I may have that wrong, but he’ll be waiting longer than that anyway.
Lion has a theory that he’s more turned on when he’s wearing diapers. In order to test this theory he’d have to wear diapers more often. I see at least two issues with this. If it really does turn him on then we run the risk of them not turning him on if he gets used to wearing them. On the other hand, if they do turn him on and we don’t use them often enough, at a certain point they may not turn him on anymore. It’s a slippery slope. Damned if you do; damned if you don’t.
We had a comment the other day about what I get out of punishing Lion. I’m not really sure why I need to get anything more than a happy Lion out of the deal. We’ve gone a few years with enforced chastity without my getting any tangible benefits out of it. I like making Lion happy. I do get a certain amount of satisfaction out of a job well done. If I haven’t stopped swatting him when he wanted me to stop, I consider that a win. I still wouldn’t say I enjoy doing it. I do get enough out of it to keep going and that’s all that matters.
Cause And Effect
Sunday night Mrs. Lion gave me an extended teasing session. I was truly tree-humping horny. According to the calendar, it was only six days since my last ejaculation; hardly long enough to explain such desperation. I was surprised at my need for release. Even though it was only six days since my last orgasm, Mrs. Lion gave me an oral release. She said the amount of semen was unusually large.
A week ago, I was also unusually horny. Could it be that I’m at a peak in my sexual cycle and that this extra semen production and my extreme arousal are just artifacts of that cycle? Could the cause be something external? One thing was different these last two weekends: the day I got the orgasm I was made to wear a diaper. The first occasion I had to wear one until I wet it and then was permitted to change into a dry one. This past Sunday, I had to wear a wet diaper until I needed to pee again and then was permitted to change just in time wet the new one.
I am not fond of wearing a diaper and much less interested in spending a day perpetually wet. If, in fact, the diaper wearing is responsible for my increased arousal, knowing Mrs. Lion, I can expect to spend considerable time wearing one. Even more troubling, I was much more aroused this Sunday than I was the week before. The difference, of course, was that I was constantly in a wet diaper this time.
It’s not that I get off sitting in a heavy, pee soaked diaper. It’s more that when I wore the dry one, I could forget it was there most of the time. The diaper felt like a pair of briefs. It only came to my attention when I had to wet myself.
This past Sunday wasn’t as terrible as it might sound. Modern, adult, disposable, briefs as they’re called, have a lot of technology built in. I never actually felt wet. The material in the brief moved the moisture away from my body. It also eliminated almost any scent as well. What I noticed was the extra weight and the size of the absorbent material. It grows as it works its magic on the pee. It was impossible for me to ignore that I had a diaper on even for a minute. Apparently that knowledge was very arousing to me. While the diapers were on, I wasn’t aware of any arousal, but I was constantly aware that she was responsible for me sit in the heavy, wet diaper.
I wonder if when Mrs. Lion cranks the experience up further it will turn me on even more. There are two ways she can make things more difficult. The first is to make me wear one until I pee twice and then wait until I need to pee a third time before I can change it. This will make the diaper even bigger and heavier. It will certainly make me do the bowlegged “cowboy” walk. It might also provide enough time for a slight pee scent to develop as well. If I get close to the capacity of the diaper I will probably feel wet too.
This isn’t very appealing at all. I suppose that’s why I get so turned on later. Mrs. Lion likes to remind me that diapers were my idea. Years ago I wondered out loud how it would feel to be made to wear one. At the time, it seemed like a good example of dominant control.
I’ve never had adult baby fantasies. I never considered pee, mine or anyone else’s, erotic. My thought was that I would quickly tire of the novelty of having to wear one and would realize that I couldn’t control anything, even as primal, as urination if my lioness cared to take charge of it. As I think about it, wearing and using a diaper is also an unmistakable symbol of my submissive role. It clearly tells me that I can be ordered to do something I don’t like and keep doing it as long as my lioness wants. That is erotic to me.
The fact that this elemental level of control has such a strong effect on me is something of a surprise. I really didn’t expect it. I figured that I would go along with it (I have no choice to not go along with it of course) and would get grumpy and tired of it quickly. I figured that after a day of wet diaper wearing I would have no interest at all in sex. I would just be cranky and tired. I was completely wrong.
This is one of those things I don’t think either of us expected. It’s also a sort of new category of activity for us. It isn’t a punishment; I get too turned on for it to be thought of that way. It may be a form of BDSM play for us. It’s different because Mrs. Lion doesn’t have to do anything other than tell me to get into a diaper and change it under whatever condition she wants.
So far, we have tried this for 8 or 9 hours at a time. We have also only tried making me sit in a diaper used only once. I have no idea what effect more extended wear or a wetter diaper might have on me. Years ago I tried sleeping in a dry one. It was difficult. I’m sure a wet one will be harder. But (I will hate myself for saying this) maybe the reason it was hard to sleep was that I needed time to get used to wearing it at night.
If the evidence that this practice really does something for me wasn’t so strong, I would expect that diaper wearing would be just one more infrequently used play activity in Mrs. Lion’s bag of tricks. But I have to admit I am curious to see just what the limits of this activity might be. Is there a minimum length of time I need to wait between sessions to maintain the excitement I apparently get? How many days and nights of wear will stop turning me on when all is done?
The biggest question I am asking myself is: Why does this do anything for me at all?
Victory!
Poor Lion. Not only did he have to spend most of Sunday in diapers, but he was also very horny. He mentioned several times how horny he was. He wasn’t grumbling. I think it surprised him and he couldn’t figure out why he was so horny after such a short period of time. A week is not a long time to wait.
I didn’t give Lion his play spanking this weekend. I did tease him every night, however. My MO lately has been to suck him after I edge him, assuming I haven’t orally edged him. And then I kiss the tip of my cock. It’s sort of a good-bye-for-now kiss. Sucking him gets him even more worked up and then the farewell kiss seals his fate.
Last night I had him so riled up that when I gave him the farewell kiss he asked if that was all. He wanted more. Really? More teasing? Won’t that just make it worse? He didn’t care. I’m sure he was positive I’d keep going several times. I actually thought I gave him a ruined orgasm once. By the time I finally decided to give him an orgasm, I don’t think he knew what day it was anymore. I was rewarded with a big mouthful of cum. It’s no wonder. He was very excited.
Lion didn’t move for a few minutes afterward. I had sucked all the energy out of him. Sometimes Lion pops right up after sex and I always wonder if I didn’t do a good enough job. By my reckoning, his legs should be rubber and he should be gasping for air. That’s usually how I am after orgasms. If forced, I can wobble to my feet, but I’d much rather stay down for the count. Last night Lion had no choice. Victory was mine!
Ipso Fatso
It seems to me that a lot of people believe that the changes they observe in a male when his ability to ejaculate is restricted, are caused by some pretty strange things. The most popular (based on blogs I read) is that males don’t need orgasms very often, if at all. Too many orgasms will cause men to be aggressive, thoughtless, self-centered, and prone to frequent masturbation. Most of the enforced chastity fantasies claim this.
So, apparently we males are a brutish bunch of masturbators if we don’t have strong female (partner) control. It’s our nature. Some bloggers with a bit of scientific background, seek out studies relating to hormones that may either cause or change this behavior. In any case, the popular theory is that ejaculation is not good for male behavior. When a male is prevented from frequent ejaculation via orgasm control like enforced chastity, he becomes docile, thoughtful, and has a strong desire to provide as many orgasms as possible to his keyholder.
Let’s accept the behavioral changes. My behavior has certainly changed in the nearly-three-years I have been under orgasm control. Men and women who write about this subject report positive behavioral changes in the male when ejaculation is controlled and strongly limited.
So, these people say: The reason for the behavioral changes is that ejaculation, when uncontrolled, results in undesirable male behavior. After all, ipso facto, the sole change was restriction of ejaculation. Therefore negative male behavior is related to too much semen loss. Over the centuries there have been numerous ills, from mental illness to feeble mindedness, associated with male ejaculation. The first chastity devices were created in the nineteenth century to prevent boys from masturbating. It was believed that masturbation led to everything from retardation to criminal behavior. It isn’t very surprising that the modern version of this is that frequent ejaculation makes men less desirable mates.
In my opinion, this is no different than the nineteenth century notion that when boys masturbate, they become criminals and idiots. Let me suggest an alternate and much simpler theoryfor why male behavior changes for the better when orgasm control is practiced. It’s actually very obvious. The reason is simply that the male is finally getting something he really wants.
Consider. A guy has had fantasies about female control, perhaps expressed by her control of his sexuality. He’s had these since his little, hairless weenie first started getting hard. Well, maybe not that long ago for some. It was for me. So, he has spent his adult life wanting something he assumed he could never have. In fact, he may have been afraid he would be very unhappy if those particular fantasies came true.
Seem far fetched? It isn’t. There have been a number of studies about what men and women fantasize about. Over 75% of men admitted fantasies of being tied up and helpless. That’s loss of control.
Even though these unrealized fantasies may be far below everyday consciousness, I think there have to be subconscious effects. A logical set of effects would be expressing behavior that might provoke the female to take charge: sexual selfishness, masturbation, and aggression. We know that virtually all enforced chastity and FLR with domestic discipline is initiated by the male. All, regardless of origin, are consensual. The males want to be controled.
What is the result of him finally getting what he wants? To quote Willie Wonka, “What happened to the man who got everything he ever wanted? He lived happily ever after.”
As an example, in my case I want orgasm control and domestic discipline. I don’t necessarily like either now that I have them. But I have gotten what I wanted. Of course my behavior changed. I’m living happily ever after. I want to share my happiness. I obey my lioness. I accept punishment. I no longer masturbate. I only ejaculate when she wishes. I have to do things like spending days in wet diapers. I don’t like that. But I love the feeling of being controlled that doing these things represent.
My point is that my hormones didn’t change my behavior. I didn’t change because females are superior to men. My changes don’t acknowledge that males aren’t designed to ejaculate except to procreate or that females are meant to have all the orgasms they want. I doubt any of those assumptions are true. What I am positive is true, at least in my case, is that I am finally getting what I have wanted (needed) my entire life. The result: I am happy and my happiness allows my best self to emerge.
If I am fully satisfied with my mate, I wouldn’t look at pornography or feel attracted to other women. It makes no sense. If having my orgasms withheld provides inner peace and satisfaction, why would I cheat or jerk off? So, I think the reason for the very noticeable change in a male’s behavior that enforced chastity provokes has nothing to do with the nature of men and women; nothing at all to do with biology. It is simply due to the fact that he is finally having his dreams come true.
The idea that you should be careful what you wish for because you may actually get it, is bull. You should celebrate that you get what you wish for. Of course the realization isn’t always fun or comfortable. Many times I am sorry that I suggested something. But that doesn’t matter. Being forced to accept these things provide me with the inner satisfaction that makes me a happier and better man. In fact, when Mrs. Lion takes an idea I gave her and makes it even more uncomfortable or painful, I may whine and protest. But for reasons I don’t fully understand, the stricter she gets, the brighter that inner light shines.
“Ipso Fatso” was Archie Bunker’s way of saying ipso facto on the 70’s sitcom “All in the Family.” He is also famous for saying that he never looks at pornography because, “I don’thave a pornograph.”
