Hurting
As I’ve said in previous posts, Lion and I are both hurting. He is also “suffering” from unhorniness. In the past, Lion has felt the need to apologize for his lack of libido. There’s really no need. I’m always understanding when he says he doesn’t want to play.
Everyone goes through phases. Sometimes Lion is tree-humping horny. Sometimes he doesn’t care about sex at all. It’s no secret that Lion gets more out of enforced chastity and FLR than I do. That’s just the nature of the beast. The bottom generally tends to get more than the top does.
My biggest “get” from our arrangement is a happy Lion. The only thing that bothers me about not playing on a given night is that it probably means Lion isn’t feeling up to it in some capacity or another. Is he sick? Is he tired? Does he think I’m sick or tired? Something is off and he’s not happy. If he’s not happy then I’m not happy. It has nothing to do with my missing play time.
I’ve never demanded we play when he doesn’t want to. While it’s possible I could tie him up and get him hard, he wouldn’t really be into it, as evidenced by his last orgasm. I did get him aroused and gave him his scheduled orgasm, but he wasn’t happy. I didn’t do it as a “Ha! You didn’t think you were horny and I proved you wrong!” moment. I really thought he wanted me to get him aroused so he could come. Lesson learned.
For now, I think we need to concentrate on taking care of each other and getting well. I just hope Lion feels better for his upcoming trip. It’s hard enough to be packed into a plane. He doesn’t need to be in pain too.
How Long Is Long Enough
There is a wide variation in the amount of time that guys in enforced chastity wait between orgasms. From my reading, the general size of the wait is requested by the male. Some get pretty extreme, at least from my perspective; as long as a year. My waits average 7 to 10 days. I’ve had some as long as 21 days and as few as 2. Is there an optimum wait? What is the value of waiting?
I’ve seen a lot of opinions on the ideal wait. A number of women have written that 7 to 10 days is ideal. Their reasoning goes in two directions: Some believe that is “enough” for any man, regardless of whether or not he is in enforced chastity. Others, like Mrs. Lion, have found that interest in sex plateaus and even decreases after ten days.
One is a philosophical belief that men are “spoiled” and should learn that orgasms aren’t something they can have any time they want. Further, there is no biological reason for more than one a week. I’m not sure what the basis for this originates, but I’ve read it more than once.
My waits are based on two things, according to Mrs. Lion. The first is that I do start to slowly lose interest after a week or so. The reason she varies the wait is to keep me sexually off balance. By changing the dates, I never know if I am being edged or will be going for the gold. She’s very effective. Even though I am given a “maybe” date; a date before which I shouldn’t expect to come, she is capable of ignoring that and giving me an early one. She also makes me wait a week or more after that date.
I think that most of the very long waits are at the request of the male. Some guys want to push the envelope and enforced chastity is an opportunity to see what it is like to experience long denial. Some keyholders like to tie waits to specific events. They play games that permit the male an orgasm only after the keyholder comes a certain number of times. That number can get pretty big. Others tie it to an event in the future; a birthday, holiday, anniversary or other significant date.
There’s no question that we males do have input into the general length of our waits, but we don’t have any control over when we get to ejaculate. That, of course, is the essence of enforced chastity.
Unhorniness
Well, it’s Monday again and I almost forgot to write a post. It’s been one of those days. Plus there’s not much to write about.
Lion’s still not horny. And now he’s getting upset that he’s not horny. He’s still in pain from his shoulder and I’m pretty sure that has a lot to do with his unhorniness. Taking the pain pills, which he does only when absolutely necessary, makes him less horny.
Of course, this could just be another one of his lulls, but it happened exactly when he started physical therapy. He came home in a lot of pain that first night and wondered if he should continue. I think it’s probably gotten a little easier to take since then.
Last night we just snuggled. That’s fine with me. I like snuggling. All of the closeness and less of the frenzy of sex. I unlocked Lion early in the evening so he could clean the cage and have a shower. Just before bed I locked him up. He grumbled a bit about being locked up again. He said he’s tired of it. I told him it was too bad. He grumbled some more about not wanting to be in the cage.
I know he’s in his doldrums at the moment. I won’t take his grumbling very seriously. If he really wanted out of the cage for good, we’d be having a far different conversation. The only thing grumbling will get him is swats. I know he doesn’t want swats. I also know that fairly soon he’ll be horny again and he’ll forget that he ever wanted the cage off. I may forget a lot of things, but I remember that Lion has ups and downs. We get through them together.
The Language Of Power
This past weekend was a peaceful one. We had local errands to run but no required destinations. We went to Costco, the grocery store, and had lunch on Saturday at a local barbecue restaurant. There was nothing sexual on Saturday night since I came on Friday. Today, Sunday, I’m not feeling particularly interested in sex. Of course that can change as the day goes on. We have lioness and lionscaping planned for today. I will be removing Mrs. Lion’s very light leg hair. She will be keeping my pubic area bare.
I know that some people consider personal service to their disciplining wife / keyholder a sexy part of submission. It has never been part of my fantasies. I think of it as a way I can do something to help make Mrs. Lion’s life easier and more pleasant. Activities like removing her leg hair aren’t sexy to me. Well, she doesn’t find keeping me hairless sexy either.
So many accounts of male submission feature elaborate pampering routines for the dominant female. They also include descriptions of sexy outfits, high heels, makeup, and other accoutrements. I’ve never understood the appeal. That means our D/S activities are based on things applied to me and not on how Mrs. Lion looks or how I personally serve her.
D/S has a language that spans verbal, visual, and sensation expression. There are many dialects. Some include leather costumes and six-inch heels. Others have catch phrases and words that resonate with the participants. On top of that there are the actions that evoke submissive or dominant behavior. Submission to some is powerfully symbolized by providing personal service and unreciprocated sexual pleasure to the dominant partner. Bathing, shaving, and massaging the dominant partner is a significant turn on to many. Others fall into a submissive/servile state by performing these tasks.
I’m not wired that way. I don’t think Mrs. Lion is either. My big turn on is losing control. That’s why I get very aroused with Mrs. Lion ties me to the bed. Wearing the chastity device also feeds that kink. So, while some guys get very aroused bathing their partners, I am aroused when tied down or blindfolded. Different strokes..
