Temporarily Out Of Service
Our Internet is out, but we have cell hotspots. I am sick. I’ve had stomach cramps for two days. This is my shortest post ever. I hurt too much to sit up.
Mrs. Lion and I talk about everything. We rarely learn from each other via posts. I love her more than anything in the world. I am fully aware how lucky I am. I took a pain pill I got for another reason. It helps. Tomorrow I’ll go to the doctor.
Being snowed in is usually fun. Not now when I’m in so much pain. More tomorrow, I hope.
I Know What You’re Thinking
I didn’t write a post because I’m mad at Lion. That’s not what you’re thinking? Good. I’m not mad at Lion. We’ve been snowed in. Branches are down. The power has been going off and on. Our cable is out, so no internet. Thank goodness I was able to clean off the satellite dish for Lion’s TV.
Lion is also sick. Not just about the Super Bowl. He’s been having bad stomach pains since yesterday. We don’t think it was anything he ate. We don’t know what it is. Last night I was going to have him put the Jail Bird back on, after being wild so sore spots could heal, but he seemed so miserable I decided not to.
I braved the messy roads and slalomed through the downed trees for a doctor appointment. I now have a decent cell signal so I can finally write this post. I’ll head back home to nurse Lion back to health and maybe shovel more snow.
Unresolved
Apparently, I poked a hornets’ nest yesterday. I mentioned to Mrs. Lion that her bathing habits suggested to me that she was more interested in how her friends at work perceived her than I. I said that if you combine that observation with her statements in a post the other day about all sex being for me, there might be reason for me to believe more was going on.
In her post a few days ago, she discussed how it could become boring providing me with teasing and sex. In what felt to me like suppressed anger, she discussed the bad old days and my lack of initiation. In my mind, the implication was that her lack of interest in sex was less a generalized problem, and more my failings with initiating. The post made more than one mention of the fact that sex is all for me. So, it’s my conclusion that the lack of reciprocity and the repetitive nature of masturbating me, is boring to her. No wonder there is little motive to take those extra showers.
Her post yesterday gave her side of this conversation. I was surprised she wrote about it. I don’t doubt that she has found reasons not to bathe. I don’t have a problem with skipping a day. I do it too about once a month. Unless she has a vaginal infection, there is no objectionable smell after the weekly two-to-three-day hiatus. My comment wasn’t really about showers. It was about a behavioral pattern that when combined with her stated boredom with giving me sex, worries me.
I know she isn’t going to run off with a younger, more aggressive lion. But it feels to me that she could be happier. I’m starting to feel like a chore. I’ve known from the start that all this edging and jerking me off were for me only. She’s made it clear here in the blog as well as in conversation that she does this because she wants me to be happy. I feel like a house guest who has stayed too long. My hostess is too polite to ask me to leave, but the enthusiastic reception is no longer there.
This is not a criticism of how she treats me. She is a wonderful disciplinary wife, and a fantastic cock tease. I appreciate that. But it doesn’t feel very good when I start to think too much. I don’t know what our next step is. I wish I did. But I want you to understand what all these allusions are about.
4 am
This afternoon, Lion said he’d been awake at 4 am and he was thinking about my post in which I said sex is all about him. He’s noticed that, on the weekends, I will go a day or two without showering. I’d never do that during the week, even if it meant getting up extra early to take one in the morning. He wonders if that doesn’t show that I don’t care enough to get clean for him. Interesting theory. Sometimes Lion doesn’t shower for a day or so, but I’ve never thought that he doesn’t care enough to get clean for me. I just figure he’s tired or doesn’t feel all that dirty. Different perspective, I guess.
I read somewhere that showering every day is bad for you. Your body has essential oils that work together to keep your skin working well, and showering every day washes away those oils. The same goes for your hair too. I know my hair gets greasy if I don’t wash it every day, so when I’m going to work, I shower. On the weekends I tend to let it go because I give my hair/body a break from the soap. I have no idea if the articles I’ve read are valid or not, but it seemed like another interesting theory, so I’ve tried it. And, yes, I’m lazier on the weekends.
Does this mean that I am telling Lion he’s not worth it for me to be clean? I wasn’t doing it for that reason, obviously. It never even crossed my mind that he would think that, just as it never crossed my mind that he was not showering to send me any hidden messages. One question I have is, am I dirty enough to repel Lion? When he asks me if I’m taking a shower (because he wants to run the dishwasher and doesn’t want it to rob me of water), I ask if I need one. In other words, do I stink? And he usually says I don’t. So, is it a perception problem? Whether I stink or not (or whether he stinks or not, for that matter), is it an issue of perceiving that I don’t care enough to wash? What if I rinsed off with a washcloth? Would that count? What if he didn’t know I rinsed off with a washcloth? I could be completely clean, except for my hair, without taking a shower. Does that count? And what about the nights of the week when I do shower? We tend to play after we’ve each had our showers. Does that not count because I’m showering for work? I guess it depends on how far you take the theory.
One other reason I don’t shower on the weekends, aside from laziness and having a break from soaps, is that I read another article that suggested that an unshowered woman has a more musky, pheromone-y scent and that can help turn a guy on. Granted, this reason may be more far-fetched than the other one, but what do I know? However, some weeks ago, Lion said I smelled different and I should see a doctor. He also said he could tell his ex-wife was pregnant because she had a different smell.
Apparently, my unshowered self does not reek of pheromones. It just reeks. Fair enough. Showers all around from now on.
