Apparently, I poked a hornets’ nest yesterday. I mentioned to Mrs. Lion that her bathing habits suggested to me that she was more interested in how her friends at work perceived her than I. I said that if you combine that observation with her statements in a post the other day about all sex being for me, there might be reason for me to believe more was going on.

In her post a few days ago, she discussed how it could become boring providing me with teasing and sex. In what felt to me like suppressed anger, she discussed the bad old days and my lack of initiation. In my mind, the implication was that her lack of interest in sex was less a generalized problem, and more my failings with initiating. The post made more than one mention of the fact that sex is all for me. So, it’s my conclusion that the lack of reciprocity and the repetitive nature of masturbating me, is boring to her. No wonder there is little motive to take those extra showers.

Her post yesterday gave her side of this conversation. I was surprised she wrote about it. I don’t doubt that she has found reasons not to bathe. I don’t have a problem with skipping a day. I do it too about once a month. Unless she has a vaginal infection, there is no objectionable smell after the weekly two-to-three-day hiatus. My comment wasn’t really about showers. It was about a behavioral pattern that when combined with her stated boredom with giving me sex, worries me.

I know she isn’t going to run off with a younger, more aggressive lion. But it feels to me that she could be happier. I’m starting to feel like a chore. I’ve known from the start that all this edging and jerking me off were for me only. She’s made it clear here in the blog as well as in conversation that she does this because she wants me to be happy. I feel like a house guest who has stayed too long. My hostess is too polite to ask me to leave, but the enthusiastic reception is no longer there.

This is not a criticism of how she treats me. She is a wonderful disciplinary wife, and a fantastic cock tease. I appreciate that. But it doesn’t feel very good when I start to think too much. I don’t know what our next step is. I wish I did. But I want you to understand what all these allusions are about.


  1. Author

    Lion, You’re like a whiny baby having a tantrum. You have a Truly Remarkable Wife who Loves, Cares and goes Well Beyond being Your Partner in Life! Wake-up, You’re a very Lucky man who needs to Graciously Appreciate Your BETTER half…

  2. Author

    We both commented to someone else that he needed to sit down and talk with his wife. Perhaps this is a time for both of you to start a conversation. I know you have a good marriage but recent posts suggest that you are both talking to the other through your posts. I think that can be an ok thing but only if they are in addition to conversations had between the two of you in person. Factually you called her out about showers. My wife wouldn’t have appreciated that and from Mrs. Lion’s response I don’t think she did either. It’s time to talk.

  3. Author

    I sure hope that this is nothing more than a case of the mid-winter blues for both of you. You are my heroes and role models. Lion, maybe she’s just saying that she wants you to initiate sex once in a while.

  4. Author

    I agree maybe your wife just feels like most of us from time to time want to have everything done for us like dinner plans and the whole night planned and not have anything to do with anything cause someone else has done everything, I think it’s fairly normal to feel slightly greedy and selfish when it comes to sex maybe ditch the cage push pause for a weekend and make one of your wife’s fantasys come true, she seems to do so much for you and maybe she just feels like having her big strong man husband for a weekend, or maybe I’m wrong or out of place but it’s worth a shot who knows.

  5. Author

    I certainly understand your dilemma, Lion. Sexual activity, unlike other “hobbies” (like working on old cars) pretty much requires the active participation – and hopefully interest – of both partners in a monogamous relationship. My wife has been dealing with a somewhat extended illness recently, and has quite reasonably had no interest in sex; this has left me feeling somewhat adrift. Given Mrs. Lion’s stated lack of libido, it’s completely understandable that dealing daily with your strong interest might seem to you like a bit of a chore to her.

    Of course, it’s clear from her posts that she really enjoys playing sexually with you, even if the pleasure to her isn’t actually sexual in nature. Unlike an orgasm (or strong tease), that sort of reward can grow mundane after a while, though. A few ideas come to mind:

    1) To combat the mundanity, how about playing a bit less frequently – say two or three times a week instead of every night (that you’re both feeling up to it)? Sure, that sounds like a little less fun for you, but for me anyway the uncertainty of whether there’ll be any play that night provides a nice bit of anticipation, and I’m always grateful when we do.

    2) You’ve been really good about stocking Mrs. Lion’s palette with lots of possible activities, but all the ones I’ve heard about are things she can do *to you*. Perhaps try to find some things that are purely for her pleasure. I strongly don’t mean to limit that to sexual things, either. After I’ve been locked up for a few days, giving her a back-rub, which I always enjoy anyway, becomes a somewhat delicious service-subby experience (much to my own surprise).

    3) Especially, follow Michael’s wise advice above: talk! Have a nice (but easy) dinner and a couple of glasses of wine (if you imbibe), curl up with the TV off, and spend a couple of hours just chatting.

    (end of lecture 😉

    I really appreciate the time and effort you both take, and especially your willingness to share of yourselves in this public forum. I think you provide a great model of how to do a relationship right, and I know you’ve helped me to look at some aspects of my own relationship differently. Thanks, Lions!

  6. Author

    I definitely agree with Mark above about doing things for Mrs Lion. Indeed you have both said as much at different times in your blog. I suspect each is expecting the other to initiate.

    I know I love it when my wife demands that I give her a foot massage (with threat of strokes if it’s not done well enough :-).

    However before we got there I found she was reluctant to ask for things for her, but she would let me beg her for the honour of giving her a foot massage.

    Now she is used to it she is confident in making the demand. We have agreed that me pampering her can be both something that she can demand as a mild punishment or grant as a delicious reward to me for good behaviour!

    It’s win/win for her and gives her more interest in the game.

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