After The First Year
I’ve returned from my trip to the sunny East. The skies may be grey here, but being back with Mrs. Lion outshines the East Coast sun. Have you noticed that almost all product reviews, whether on a website or in a commercial publication, are based on a short period of use? I think the same is true about what we can read on the Web.
The vast majority of contributors to male chastity forums are either guys who fantasize about male chastity or men who are new to it. There are exceptions, but even veterans limit their discussions to answering newbie questions. If we could take a survey of the people who write about starting male chastity at least a year after they first said they began, I bet the results would be revealing.
I’d guess that over 90% had given up in less than a year. Of those who continued, how many are doing it without a partner who is actively involved? Do many wives and girlfriends simply indulge their chaste partner’s kink? In reality is he playing alone with only minor support? My guess is that over half of the remaining guys are in this category.
In the world of kink, enforced chastity is an outlier. I have never seen a workshop in it advertised for a BDSM (See, Tom? I didn’t say “Leather event) event on this subject. The vendors at the events do offer some chastity devices, but the practice is private, even in the BDSM community context.
I think the reason this practice is so rare is that it is a 24/7 power exchange. Very, very few people in the BDSM community practice full-time power exchanges. The level of commitment and surrender are the stuff of fantasy. Very few people are willing to actually live this way.
Sales of cheap chastity devices may be on the rise, but I am sure it doesn’t correspond to a growth in the number of full-timers. I’ll bet that almost all the devices sold are intended just to see what it is like to have the penis locked in a cage. Some purchasers may be locked up for a weekend, or maybe a vacation, but how many stay locked for years?
We are in that small group of dedicated practitioners. It’s true that in the last couple of months I haven’t been wearing my device for good reason, we think. But Mrs. Lion’s orgasm control is as much in force as it is when she has me caged. I’m almost certainly going to be wild (cage free) for the next six months or more, while I heal from my upcoming shoulder surgery. But, at any point Mrs Lion can lock me back up if she desires.
For some time I have been wondering what it says about us that we practice full-time male chastity. We are in a tiny minority of the BDSM world, much less the wider world. I don’t think we are crazy. We both feel that there is enormous value in our practice. For us, it goes way beyond sexual control. I would guess that every full-timer has a much deeper reason for continuing than just the fun of penis bondage.
Of course, it doesn’t matter at all why you practice or have interest in male chastity. If it’s a turn on, that’s enough. Enjoy it. We do.
Pseudo-Cage
I’m very happy Lion will be home in a few hours. I’ve been worried about how his shoulder is holding up during his trip. He’s been in a fair amount of pain and I just want to get him home so I can take care of him.
I’ve been thinking about the fact that he’s been wild for so long. Not that I think he’ll cheat or masturbate. I just think maybe we should find a way for him to wear something instead of the cage. We may already have a cock ring around here that would be comfortable enough to wear even if he’s in pain. Something that will remind him that Mr. Weenie is mine and I haven’t forgotten. No touching. Mine. All mine.
Of course, it would come off before the surgery and not go on until we decide he can manage it again. It doesn’t need to be anything locking. I don’t care if it’s a strip of Velcro wrapped around. I know Lion cares. He hates Velcro. The point is, it could be anything comfortable enough for him to wear. That definitely leaves out the Velcro. He could take it off if it bothers him too much. I’m not looking to add discomfort. Just something to take the place of the cage for a while.
For example, I recently saw a man who broke his hand, fingers and all. He had a cast on and they had to cut his wedding ring off. His wife is an art teacher. She drew fingers on the cast along with a wedding ring. It was awesome. I’d like to do something similar for Lion. No, I’m not going to draw on him. I’d just like to give him something tangible like that.
Heaven
When I was a little kid and I didn’t finish my supper, my mother would tell me that there were poor children in Europe who would be very happy to eat the food I left on my plate. I was a bit of a wiseguy and my usual reply was why don’t we mail these leftovers to them? That invariably earned me a dirty look.
I think parents everywhere use comparisons like this to inspire gratitude in their kids. I’ve been very lucky from the first day of my life. I had two parents, plenty of food, good schools, and everything else a kid could ever want. You may be wondering what this all has to do with with male chastity or domestic discipline. The answer is simple: absolutely nothing.
Lately I’ve been wallowing in worry in anticipation of my upcoming surgery. I’ve had a chance to think about it during this business trip. I realized that absolutely everything about my life, save the rotator cuff injury, is exactly what I’ve always wanted. How many people can say that?
I have a wife who is willing to try anything I suggest. She loves me enough to put my happiness before her own. She’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. As they say on TV, that’s not all. I’ve got the job I always dreamed of. I am a very happy lion.
That doesn’t mean that things are always easy or straightforward. We’ve both had to endure hardships of various sorts and every one we’ve conquered has brought us closer together. I admit that I am a glass-half-full kind of guy. Mrs. Lion is a bit more pessimistic. We balance each other nicely.
I’m not trying to jinx things by bragging about our perfect life. If you are in so inclined, I’m sure you could find many reasons why things are quite miserable for us. I’m convinced that a positive point of view creates positive changes. A negative point of view, pretty well assures success will be hard to find.
I believe that what success we have at male chastity and domestic discipline is the direct result of our mutual commitment to make anything we start work. Mrs. Lion, when I come up with a new idea, will generally agree to follow it until I get tired of it or we both decide doesn’t work. Of course, if it does work we are both happy. The point is that she’s willing to go along until either I realize I made a mistake.
In the case of chastity, and even more so, domestic discipline, she was sure she would never like either. But, she was determined to continue as long as I wanted it. Lo and behold, over time, Mrs. Lion not only accepted but actually learned to like both practices. I’m not saying that if I really wanted to stop, she would force me to continue. But I am very sure that if I want to stop it will take more than a simple request for it to happen.
We’ve lived through all sorts of situations – good and bad – to prove that both male chastity and domestic discipline work for us. In our case that cliché, “be careful what you wish for…” Is absolutely false. I feel like Charlie from “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”. When Willy Wonka asked him, “Charlie, do you know what happened to the man got everything he ever wanted? He lived happily ever after.” I think I’m Charlie.
No Crystal Ball
Sometimes Lion can see the future. Well, not exactly, but he gets a feeling that something is wrong. At times he can be very specific. Other times it’s just a vague something-isn’t-right feeling. I tell him if he sees something wrong with me I don’t want to know about it. It’s kind of creepy.
I can’t see the future. I don’t know how his surgery and subsequent recovery will affect us. I just know that all his doom and gloom of my leaving him won’t happen. I may want to clock him with a frying pan a few times, but I won’t really do it. He may want to yell at me for making him do his physical therapy that hurts, but he won’t. I’m not delusional enough to believe things will always be rosy and sweet. We will be trapped together for over a week with very little outside contact. He gets cabin fever on a weekend. What will he do over the course of a week?
The one thing I do know is that we will get through it. We’ve gotten through unemployment and financial uncertainty. We’ve gotten through a cross-country move. We’re coming up on our twelfth wedding anniversary in August, and our fifteenth year of being together. We haven’t killed each other yet. If anything, with domestic discipline and female led marriage, we have ways of dealing with things that other, non-practicing couples don’t have.
I know we’ll get on each other’s nerves. There’s no way to avoid that. But I have the power to let Lion know he’s being a toddler or treating me badly. I could do that without DD and FLM, but I never really did. I just absorbed all that negativity and didn’t stick up for myself. I’m learning how to stick up for myself now. Maybe I haven’t developed “the look” yet, but I’m more likely to tell Lion when he’s near or across the line.
Lion may not be aware of his actions because he’ll be drugged and in pain and I know he won’t be a toddler on purpose. He’ll just need some gentle, and perhaps not-so-gentle guidance, from time to time. I’m sure I can use what we’ve learned over these past three years to help get us through his recovery.
