Still Treading Water
I was told that recovery from shoulder surgery was slow and painful. Yes it is. Now I am in my sixth week since the operation. Most of the pain is gone and I have some range of motion for my arm. It will be at least another five months before I can lift more than a couple of pounds. Mrs. Lion is taking up the slack. She keeps telling me that she is in it for the long haul. I appreciate that.
What’s bothering me the most is that my energy is embarrassingly low. I can’t walk very far without tiring and I fall asleep unexpectedly when in a comfortable position. Worse, sleeping through the night is a distant memory. That’s what bothers me the most. The cherry on this misery sundae is my loss of semen and inability to get back to our former FLR and domestic discipline.
I long for the good old days of seven weeks ago. While my preoperative shoulder was very painful much of the time, everything else about my life was normal. Now my shoulder hurts only some of the time, but everything else has gone to hell. I made a crappy trade.
This cloud has a bit of a silver lining: Mrs. Lion is much more directive than ever before in our relationship. She’s been taking charge some of the time. I don’t always appreciate it, like when I’m driving. But, in general, I think it is movement in the right direction. She hasn’t been able to bring 2.0 out. I’m not strong enough for her.
Will we ever return to our power exchange? I hope so, but it isn’t a given. It took us three years to get up to speed, and even then we had a way to go. I know Mrs. Lion wants it as much as I do. I think we have to talk about how we can keep progressing while I recover from the surgery. I’m confident that it’s possible. If you can help with suggestions, please tell us.
We need to rethink domestic discipline in the face of my recovery. I reminded Mrs. Lion that I don’t need energy to be spanked. On the other hand, she doesn’t want to hit a lion when he is down. I get it and agree. It may not be about punishment at all. That’s why I think we need some new perspectives.
Enforced chastity is much easier. I won’t masturbate even though I am not in a chastity device. Not wearing mine is similar to me having to take off my wedding ring for a while because of an injury. Well, not quite the same. While unlocked I can have erections. That’s impossible when I am caged. I won’t be able to wear mine for a while. When it is on, I have to pee sitting down unless I have a urinal available. Sitting and rising from the toilet are difficult for me. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to have me do that more than necessary.
I’m definitely getting better. Food tastes good to me again. I don’t have to take narcotic drugs. My shoulder hurts less and less. But my energy isn’t there. Mrs. Lion suggested that being in bed for a month may have a lot to do with it. It also can be that I don’t bounce back like I did when I was younger.
We are still as in love as ever. Expressing it has become more challenging.
Boredom Therapy
Lion and I were talking about how things are shaping up since his surgery. Physically he’s doing well. He’s increasing his range of motion and this weekend I suggested he drive more to see how well he’ll fair in rush hour, city traffic. Emotionally/sexually, he doesn’t think he’s doing as well. He still says, from time to time, that he shouldn’t have done the surgery. And he’s worried about the lack of semen production.
Yesterday, when I said I had no idea what to write in a post, Lion said he was boring me so there was nothing to write about. At another point he asked if I thought we were doing okay where we were in terms of adding discipline and chastity back into our lives after his surgery. I thought we were doing well. Lion didn’t really think so. Last night, he was out of the room and I picked up my iPad. When he came back into the room, I was at the end of my task (just waiting for things to finish) but not before he said he must be the most boring person on earth if I’m always on my iPad. I put it down, moved to snuggle, and he fell asleep.
In Lion’s defense, we’d run some errands at both a shopping center and Costco. That’s a lot of walking when you’re not used to it. And remember, sometimes a trip to Costco wipes me out too. In my defense, I’ve gotten back into the habit of having my nose in the iPad since he had surgery. While he slept and recuperated, I played games. I’m trying to break that habit again.
I’m not sure if the Lion-is-boring feeling comes from my iPad usage, his feelings of not helping me because he’s still recovering, or from the lack of ejaculation. Maybe a combination. Maybe something else added in there. I’ve been trying to take my cues from Lion. If he’s snoozing a lot, I assume he’s tired and there will be no play tonight. If he’s in pain, I assume there will be no play tonight. Perhaps the assumptions are incorrect. Either I need to tell him we’re playing or I need to ask if he wants to play.
So what’s the problem with that? Well, if I ask, then he could say he’s not running the show so I should decide. And if I tell him we’re playing, it puts pressure on him to do something if he’s not able to do it at that point in time. Lose-lose. There is another option. We can snuggle and see how things turn out. Although, there have been times we’ve been snuggling and I’m just absently playing with my weenie, but he’s not getting hard and Lion will apologize for not being in the mood. There’s no need to apologize. I’m just testing the waters. If Mr. Weenie wants to come out and play, he will. If not, I hope it just feels good that I’m fondling him. I don’t want to annoy Lion by touching him.
Most of all, I don’t want to add to Lion’s stress level. He’s worried about helping me. He’s worried about things at work. He’s worried about sex. He’s worried about recovering. I want to be the stress reliever. As I told him yesterday, I don’t mind helping him. I helped him before surgery. I’m helping him now. I’ll help him after he’s fully recovered. He helps me whenever he can, too. We make a pretty good team.
Sexual Theater
I was surprised to see that there is interest in my orgasm statistics. Until our server crashed, I had a widget that tracked my most recent orgasm and wait. Sadly, I can’t reproduce that functionality anymore. My average wait between orgasms currently stands at six days. That doesn’t put me particularly far off from the average for a married man of more than ten years. Does that mean I’m not really practicing male chastity?
That’s an interesting question. Is the test of enforced male chastity the level of frustration the male feels from orgasm denial? How am I different from the average male? I think that space between orgasms may be a distraction from the real point. Let me explain. Male chastity is almost always introduced by the male who will end up in a chastity device. It is his fantasies that fuel the subsequent activities. I think it is fair to say that most women aren’t all that interested in how often their partner comes. If anything, they are interested in how often they come.
So,the guy tells his partner about his fantasy. There is no shortage on the Web of male-authored chastity fantasies. The common theme is that the male is kept locked and teased. He has to spend long periods of frustration before he finally gets to ejaculate. These stories are probably what prospective caged males tell their partners. Agreeable partners lock them up and make them wait to come. How long is probably determined by feedback he gives her. After all, this is a male fantasy.
I think that makes the most sense. It just doesn’t seem all that reasonable to believe that women spend much time trying to decide how long between their husband’s orgasms. It makes even less sense to believe that many would actually care about making him earn them. Mrs. Lion is very ambiguous when I ask her about her investment in delaying when I come. I don’t think she really cares.
What she does care about is how happy I am. If she sees that I am enjoying the long form tease and deny, she will most likely make me wait. If I am getting grumpy and unhappy, an orgasm will come sooner. At least that’s how it was for the first three years. Now, my waits are about a week apart; sometimes only three or four days, others ten days or two weeks. It all averages to about a week. I know she doesn’t spend time thinking about my orgasms.
I don’t think that’s unusual. Let’s face it, my orgasm frequency isn’t entertaining to my lioness. It’s strictly for my benefit. When you look behind the curtain of your enforced chastity, isn’t that the case for you as well? Is enforced male chastity simply sexual theater? In some sense it is. What do you think?
Progress Report: 5 Weeks
The weekend’s here. Last night Mrs. Lion gave me another orgasm. There was a trace of semen. I’m not convinced that pain killers are responsible for my dry orgasms. I have no idea what is behind this unwelcome change. Yesterday, I had my weekly physical therapy. It was not as painful as I expected. It still hurt.
Neither of us is back to normal yet in terms of our power exchange. I’m glad right now because it’s really hard for me to think about much beyond work and my recovery. I hate being dependent. I think Mrs. Lion is having some trouble with having to do everything around here on her own. I feel guilty as hell about that. It will be at least another six months before I can lift more than a couple of pounds with my right arm. Mrs. Lion knows this and lets me know she will take care of me no mater how long it takes.
So, neither of us has a lot of extra energy right now. I still fall asleep if I lie down to watch TV. It’s rare that I get more than two or three hours of continuous sleep at night. Last Monday night all this sleeplessness caught up to me. I got to sleep at about 2 AM. Mrs. Lion couldn’t wake me at 6:30. I woke by myself at 11:30 AM. That’s the latest I’ve slept in many years.
All this isn’t an excuse. It’s just a progress report. We’re both committed to male chastity and domestic discipline. We’ll do it. Our blog is still not up to normal. We have about 1,200 posts that are as yet not restored. The problem is being worked on. I’m hopeful that we can get everything back before too long. There are some very good people working on it.
There is good news. My libido has returned. I may not ejaculate, but I want sex. I’m also gaining range of motion with my right arm. While I can’t lift anything, I can now reach up and scratch my head. I’m able to drive and will probably be able to commute next week. Recovery from the surgery is much like the way our male chastity and domestic discipline has grown. It’s been slow, bumpy at times, but steady. I don’t think we are different from others doing the same thing. Kink is very hard to sustain 24/7.
I think that my recovery is bringing us closer together. Mrs. Lion and I get closer when we work together. I am incredibly lucky that she loves me.
