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In: Male Chastity, Mrs Lion Comments

My post yesterday was rather snarky. I had just had a run-in with an annoying website and I was frustrated. I said what I meant to say, but I didn’t say it the way I should have. Here’s how I see our chastity life.

Lion asked me to cage him. I did. I really thought it would be a short term deal. Am I upset that it’s still going? No way! We’ve learned a lot about each other and we’ve grown sexually.

Lion asked me to punish him. I try to, but I am failing at it. I need to work at that. I have no real desire to change him so the problem is finding something to punish him for.

Lion asked me to be in control sexually. I’m trying to do that. I instituted the every-other-play-day rule (for myself). I set dates for his orgasms. I decide what kind of play he gets, when he gets it, and how much he gets. I decide when I want to take an orgasm (bonus orgasm).

Lion asked me to figure out why my libido is in the crapper. I haven’t been able to figure out why, but I have set orgasm date for myself to see if we can jump start it. At this point it has done little for my desire, although Lion continues to be able to give me orgasms. The mechanics were never an issue. Actually wanting sex is the issue.

Lion asked me to be more in control by learning independently about chastity and controlling him. This is the part that frustrates me. He wants me to find something that I like to do. I’ve told him repeatedly that making him happy is what I like about it. I don’t have a deep-seated need to cage him or spank him. He has that need. I know he sees any advice or suggestions he gives me as topping from the bottom. I know he wants me to find things to make chastity and topping him better. However, since it isn’t something I need, how do I know if it will make it better? Am I just supposed to randomly try things? What if it’s not what he wants? Why do something that’s not what he wants? It won’t be something I want. As I said, it’s not a need I have.

I don’t believe I am suddenly going to have an aha moment and decide that the integral part of my life that has been missing is suspending Lion with fish hooks. Or wrapping his body in plastic wrap. Or making him scrub my back in the bathtub. Or going to the opera (not sexual, but still a fantasy of his that I will suddenly “get culture”).

I thought we were doing pretty well. I know I fail in the punishment department and even playing most of the time just involves cock and ball play. We’d decided that we didn’t want long wait times. We’d decided that the scheduling of orgasms was going well. He liked knowing how long he had to wait. I liked knowing I could give him a bonus orgasm if I wanted to. Apparently I’m doing that too often so I’ll try to restrain myself.

Having said all this, I’m not going to stop doing what we’ve been doing. I’m still convinced the cage has been helping our sex life. Well, Lion’s sex life. Mine is still dormant. I think we’re happier. I just think that my trying to find things he’s interested in will fail. Of course if we do enough things then by brut force we’ll find things, but that will be exhausting and even more frustrating.

I’m sure a lot of this is the PMS talking. Maybe I just need to wait until I feel less out of control.

[Lion — I don’t usually comment to my sweet lioness’ posts, but in this case I feel I have to. I am deeply grateful for all the hard work and study that Mrs. Lion has put into her efforts to make me happy. She has succeeded far beyond my wildest dreams. Typically, we write posts on similar topics (and no, we don’t cheat and read each other’s first).

I wrote my post for tomorrow before I read this post. It’s about how I see pretty much the same stuff. You’ll have to wait till tomorrow to read it (mean Lion!).

Mrs. Lion is right. I want her to like what she does to me. I want her to make enforced chastity her own. I understand that is very unlikely to happen, at least the way I imagine it.

But it has happened in a surprising way. Mrs. Lion is making me sexually happy. Things have changed massively over the last year in that department. She has told you and I that she feels things are better as well. For whatever reason, enforced chastity has improved our lives.

The reason I asked her to look beyond me for input and inspiration isn’t because I want her to magically change, or even learn new things. It’s because I want her to have resources beyond me. They may never pan out, but at least her perspective on enforced chastity won’t be just what she hears from me]

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In: Male Chastity, Mrs Lion Comments

Lion gives me way too much credit. I used the butt plug last night because after my post yesterday he said he might be too sore for anything else. I told him there were a lot of other ways to play with him than just teasing him. Why did I seem a little more abrupt with it than other times? He was in an awkward position. I probably should have used more lube, but I figured it wouldn’t have gone in as well as it did if he needed more lube. There has been no new leaf turned over.

I did download some e-books to do research. Lion says he doesn’t want to be my only source. He suggested reading some of the blogs he reads. Wouldn’t they then be the same source? Am I over thinking that? Probably. The first book I read was all about reawakening the intimacy and then moved into why and how people do chastity. Very basic. We’re past that. I haven’t looked at the second book yet. I haven’t looked at any of the blogs.

I guess I’m unsure what I’m supposed to be learning. Is he waiting for me to discover a new thing that I just have to try? Why would I want to try it? Does he want to try it? I know he wants me to find something I enjoy. I know he thinks if I don’t get something out of it then it will never last. I do get something out of it. It makes him happy. Why can’t that be my thing?

I’ll look at the blogs and the other book. I’ll try to figure out some way to punish him for things. One thing will be for interrupting me. Another might be suggesting I read blogs and books to find something I enjoy. Just kidding, Lion. Sort of.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments

Yesterday I mentioned that my orgasms seemed more like sex and less like making love, which is really what I want. I made the comment that at least I should get flowers. Then I said I wasn’t asking for flowers. My well trained Lion, who always listens to me when I say I don’t need something, brought me flowers. I knew he would the second he said he was getting dinner. Don’t get me wrong, I love the flowers. They are beautiful. I just think it’s funny that he doesn’t listen to me when I’m just giving an example of something anymore than I listen to him when he gives an example and tells me it’s just an example.

Lion approaches this blog as a means to share information about chastity and submission. I approach it as a means to share what’s happening to us specifically. When he writes a post about X, I immediately think, “Oh no! I’m not doing X well enough (or at all). I’m failing my Lion.” Even if he tells me in the post that it is not directed toward me. Even if he says he’s never wanted to try it but knows people who have done it. When I write a post about getting flowers I get flowers. Now, granted, flowers are easier to do than X may be, but the similarities are there.

Anyway, I’ve gotten myself off topic. After he gave me the flowers and we had dinner and skip ahead a few hours, Lion turned off the tv. I was shocked. I know he records all the shows we watch so it’s not like we were missing anything, but the tv was off. Completely off. Not just muted. Not just paused. Off. I can’t remember the last time that happened. We snuggled and kissed and talked for a while and then I discovered something interesting.

We are silly romantics. There was no serious petting or kissing going on. We were being silly. Making each other laugh. There’s nothing wrong with that at all. So we don’t have the rose petals on the bed kind of romance. We have the my-arm-is-asleep and your-hair-is-in-my-eyes kind of romance. And there’s no one else I would rather have any kind of romance with than my very silly Lion.

By:
In: Mrs Lion Comments, Sex

Last night Lion asked me to look at a blog that he follows. I always try to read things he recommends to me if I have the time. Unfortunately last night, while I had the time, I didn’t have the brain power. Between the seemingly endless rambling of the blogger and the tv blaring I didn’t get anything out of it. In hindsight I realize it was because I’m stressed out again. Work is being, well, work again and between the two jobs I have a lot on my mind. I need some decompression time. Some “me” time.

Exactly what that me time entails, I’m not sure. I do decompress somewhat at night while messing around on my iPad. Lion will probably suggest sex as a means to relax. Nice try, my pet. I’m wondering if setting orgasm dates for me is actually increasing my stress. We may have to tweak things a little bit. I’ll need to think fast because tonight is one of those scheduled orgasms for me. I’m hesitant to cancel it because that defeats the purpose, but I’m not looking forward to it as much as Lion is. And no, it doesn’t have anything to do with you, Lion. This is clearly all me.

And who knows? Maybe sex is the answer. Or part of the answer. I just need to figure out why that scheduled date is not working. Maybe it’s how we go about it. Maybe it needs more fanfare. You know, rather than just going from watching tv to rolling over and fingering me, I need a bit more. The whole “don’t I even get flowers?” idea. Not that I’m asking for flowers. I have no idea if that’s the answer. Just thinking out loud, or whatever the electronic equivalent of that saying would be.

Whether I come up with a way to tweak things or not, I will be ready for my orgasm tonight. It’s important to both of us that we get my libido back.