I don’t know why it amazes me that Lion and I have such different reactions to the same thing. We are an almost perfect example of opposites attracting. And, by reading our posts, you can certainly see that. My second attempt at encouraging him during spanking is no exception.

As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t usually plan out a play session. I have no idea how long I’m going to spank Lion. Although I take out several things to spank him with, I don’t know if I’ll use them all, or in what order. So when he says he likes to be encouraged by my letting him know that he only has a little longer to go or how many swats are left, I find it difficult. It wasn’t as awkward as I thought it would be to actually encourage him. It didn’t sound stupid coming out of my mouth. But it was difficult planning ahead to tell him how he was doing.

I’m very glad he had a good time. I had no idea he was so into it. He did squirm a few times while he adjusted himself. I didn’t know it was because he was that hard. You could have fooled me that he doesn’t get hard from every spanking. I think his cock gives him away more often than he realizes.

I’ll have to keep working on the encouragement. Obviously he likes it. I’m sure I’ll get better at it. And I might even get more comfortable. It will just take some time.

[Encouragement doesn’t require saying “only x more swats”. Mrs. Lion did a great job of leaving things open-ended. She said, “Now you will get three hard swats to each cheek”. That helped me prepare without any promise of when she finishes. I think my lioness is much better at this than she thinks. – Lion]

I don’t like confrontation. I had far too much of it in my last marriage. My ex and I would fight for hours only to discover we were both saying the same thing. In the event that I “won” an argument over, say, which car to buy, and that car happened to break down ever, he’d let me know that I’d been wrong in yet another argument. So I made a conscious decision that I didn’t want to fight with Lion.

How in the world do you avoid fighting? I stopped arguing. If Lion wanted a red couch and I wanted the brown one, we got the red one. If he wanted to go out to eat we went out to eat. I don’t give him any ammunition to tell me that my decision was the wrong one. This, of course, creates other problems.

Lion was getting pretty tired of making all the decisions all the time. It’s exhausting. But even more problematic is the fact that Lion is not my ex. They are two different people who act differently. He was not looking for me to screw up a decision like I imagine my ex was. (I’ve never actually discussed this idea with my ex so I don’t know if he was really just laying in wait for me to make a mistake.) And Lion also wanted me to take charge in the bedroom.

On a good day I’m not really a take charge kind of person. I’ve been trying a lot more lately. But when I’m tired I tend to lapse back into the adversarial role I had with my ex. If I perceive an attack I go on the defensive very quickly.

When we travel I don’t sleep well. Something always seems off. And then, because we take my truck, I’m usually the one driving, which makes me more tired. I was thinking the other day that we don’t travel well together. However, I think it may be because we’re both tired.

I’ll say something and he’ll take it the wrong way. Or vice versa. We snap at each other. When I mentioned something about it on the way home he told me I have the shock collar and I can just zap him when he does something wrong. But what if I’m wrong? I can’t just zap him when he does something I don’t like, can I? Even for things we didn’t discuss? If I’m in a particularly cranky mood I could run through the batteries very quickly and Lion’s balls will be fried. I know he wants me to be in charge, but it doesn’t make any sense to me that I should punish him for things that may not be wrong.

Today he turned on the tv while I was trying to write my post. I’ve told him it bothers me when he just comes in the room and turns on the tv while I’m working on something. It kills my train of thought. But I also know I’m tired.  I’m more sensitive. I’m cranky. Yes, I’m bitchy. And we may also be heading into PMS season. Is that reason enough for Lion to keep his head down and avoid my cross hairs? I am supposed to be correcting behavior, but I need to do it rationally. I do not have absolute power. But I do have absolute responsibility for myself.

I guess the cage is teaching me about Lion and myself.

Lion paints a wonderful picture of his vacation fun, but he leaves out a few details. And, of course, he can’t give you my point of view. Things were somewhat different in my mind.

We had to run to Walmart, since we have never gone anywhere without forgetting at least one thing. Walking past the paint department I spotted a paint stirrer. I snatched one up. I had plans for this little strip of wood. Lion made his uh oh face.

When I unlocked him that night, the first thing I did was massage his balls. I told him I was going to toughen them up. I swatted them a few times with my hand. Then I pulled out the paint stirrer. I guess it stings quite a bit because Lion was squirming in no time. I also swatted the head of his penis and down the shaft. More squirming. Exactly the reaction I was looking for. While I was swatting him I was talking to him. I told him he was doing great. I asked him how it felt and he said it stung but it felt fine. I said his balls were getting tougher already.

After I was finished with his balls, I told him we were going to try out his new restraints. Lion was very accurate in his description of his spanking. I did continue after he started complaining, which was something he pointed out previously. However, this is where our stories diverge.

I don’t normally talk much while I’m playing with Lion. He’s told me he wants encouragement. So while spanking him I told him how rosy his cheeks were getting and how much I love red buns. After a particularly hard set of swats with the strap I leaned close to him and said he took it very well. I kissed his butt and told him how cute it was. To me this is encouragement.

When I released Lion and asked how it felt he said he loved it but could use more encouragement. This was very discouraging to me. What had I been doing? Wasn’t that encouragement? Obviously we are very far apart in our definitions.

Despite this setback, I did go on with my plan to give Lion his mind-blowing blow job. I’m glad he enjoyed that part as much as I did.

I’ve since read his post and now I think I understand what he wants. I don’t know if I can give it to him, but I understand. What he’d like me to say to him strikes me as even more ridiculous than telling him he’s a good boy. It’s taken me a while but I can finally tell him that. Maybe someday I’ll be able to encourage him the way he needs to be encouraged.

lost key
Lion’s cage is secured by a security screw. There are only two tools that can open it. What if they get lost?

When Lion was wearing his original cage it was locked on with a padlock. We have several padlocks all keyed the same so losing the key wasn’t much of an issue. Now his cage has a unique key. That may sound redundant. Aren’t keys supposed to be unique? To a certain extent. You can make a copy of your house key. We probably could have made copies of the padlock key. But the cage key cannot be copied. It has what looks like a symbol on the head. I have no idea how they make the key or the screw to fit it, but it’s not coming off without the correct key.

We have two keys. Ideally one would be hidden from Lion and one would be the emergency key. What if we lose one? What if I swear I put my key back in its hiding place and it’s not there the next time I look? What if the emergency key gets misplaced? As I’ve mentioned before, we are going on several road trips this summer. Both Lion and I were worried that we’d be zipping down the highway not realizing we left the key home. It’s not a simple matter of packing an extra key in a suitcase. There is no extra key. So I decided, since we aren’t going anywhere without my truck, I will attach it to the truck keys. But now it’s not hidden.

I don’t really think Lion needs it hidden. He knows roughly where it is anyway. All he’d have to do is go rummaging through my nightstand and he’d find it. I think it’s more than a trust issue. I do trust that he won’t unlock himself. But if he actually did then it might mean he didn’t want the cage on anymore. That would definitely be a bigger issue.

However, I think that Lion would prefer that the key were hidden. It’s not that he doesn’t trust himself. Not knowing where the key is might make it more “real”. This is another instance where real life supersedes fantasy. At least on the road, my ability to hide the key is limited.

On the other hand, maybe knowing the key is available is a psychological conundrum. It’s there. He can see it. He can even hold it. But he can’t use it. I don’t know. Caged males, which is worse?