Mrs Lion Comments (Page 470)

When I was growing up I wanted to be a writer. In fifth grade I wrote a “book” and my friend illustrated it. That was the deal: I’d write and she’d illustrate. Then she moved away and we lost touch. Through the magic of Facebook, I found her again. She is, in fact, an illustrator for children’s books. Along the way I decided that being a writer was not feasible. How many people write the great American novel anyway? Life took over and I got nothing job after nothing job. Not that the jobs were worthless. It just wasn’t what I wanted to be when I grew up. I think the blog takes a little of the sting out of that missed dream. I get to write every day.

Since I’m an introvert, I always said that I never wanted to get married or have kids. I wasn’t a social person. How can you get married if you’re not social? I mean, you have to interact with people to find someone to marry, right? Well, somehow, I did find someone and we had kids. And obviously I’d do anything for them. If I had any idea exactly where the one in the army was at this particular moment I’d be trying to protect him better than his armor does on maneuvers right now in Afghanistan. And was that my dream for him when he was born? Well, yes, actually. Not specifically to be a soldier. Actually no, not a soldier at all. But I wanted him to be happy. That’s all I cared about. And damn it if he isn’t happy doing what he does!

What does all this have to do with our blog? It’s simple. Life doesn’t always go the way you planned. Usually it takes so many twists and turns you wind up very far from where you intended. Sometimes you wind up, in a roundabout way, doing exactly what you planned, but the journey changes it somehow. So Lion and I, against countless odds, growing up in different generations, only 70 miles away from each other most of our lives, wound up together. If you had told either of us we’d be where we are today we’d think you were crazy. And if you told us we’d be doing male chastity or FLM, we’d think you were crazy. Well, maybe Lion wouldn’t, but I would.

I never imagined that I’d have a pet Lion. I never imagined I’d be doing the things I do to him. Now I can’t imagine not doing them. I can’t imagine not having Lion in my life. And damn it if I’m not happy!

Sometimes, when I take Lion out for a spin, I wonder if I really need to edge him every time. What if I just got him hard and put him away? Would it have the same effect as edging him? Would he be just as horny afterwards? What if I never actually edged him at all during a wait? What if it was a short wait, four days or so, and I never edged him once? If I only got him hard and stopped before he really got to the edge, would he be as frustrated when the time came for his orgasm? Or does it send a different message?

Lots of questions. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, but I’ve never discussed it with Lion. I know he would say I should do what I want. I’m in charge. I don’t know what I want to do. What if it has some unintended consequence? What if he’s not as horny and isn’t ready for his orgasm? What if he thinks I don’t want to edge him anymore? What if he feels ignored/rejected/whatever else he might feel? So far, I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it even once. I know once won’t cause any permanent “damage”. I just don’t want him to miss out on what he’s looking for. If he expects to be edged, then I should edge him.

I guess it’s just my indecision rearing its ugly head again. Lion is right, I should do what I want. He needs no explanation as to why I’m doing a certain thing. If I’ve gotten it into my head that he should be tied down and have Icy Hot smeared on his balls every night this week, then that’s what should happen. Don’t worry, Lion. There’s no Icy Hot in your immediate future. But there might be a non-edging session.

Well, Lion figured out his birthday dinner. He moved things around in the freezer and when I saw what he’d done I told him he probably just ruined the surprise. He swore he hadn’t seen anything but then realized that what he thought was pork chops was really meat for osso buco. He insists it’s ok because now he’ll be dreaming of osso buco all week and how nice I am to make it for him. Ok. But he still doesn’t know the rest of the surprise and I want to keep it that way.

Yesterday we did some chores, ran the marathon at Costco, and came home to the marathon of putting food away. We vegetated for a while and went to see The Martian. Last time we went to the movies we got there very early and had to wait for the last showing to be out and then the theater had to be cleaned. This time we were trying to get there not quite as early. Since The Martian just opened the theater was already crowded. Lion is very particular about where he wants to sit. Halfway back, center of the row. I like the aisle. Actually, I like home, but in a theater I like the aisle. The only seats were on the end in the back row or most of the first two rows.

Lion asked if I wanted to get our money back or what I wanted to do. I told him it was his movie and he should decide. I thought that was fair enough. If it was a movie I cared about I would have found an acceptable seat and told him to sit. But it wasn’t my movie. He should decide how much he wanted to see it and if any of the available seats worked. We sat in the second row, which at first was jarring but once we got used to the screen being in our face it was actually better. Lion could read all the typing on the screen and little notes that were lying around. Aside from the fact that it was 3D it was a good movie.

Then we got home. We hadn’t played on Friday night because, after his orgasm on Thursday night, Lion wasn’t horny. Yesterday I just didn’t think about playing before the movie and I was tired afterwards. Lion then asked if I wanted dessert. They served our food late at the movie theater so I was still full. Well, now I had rebuffed him twice. He was humphy. Eventually I got the dessert he wanted. I feel bad when I disappoint him. And afterwards he asked if we could play tonight. Of course we can. I told him it was his idea to go to the movies and he said he didn’t think that cancelled any other activities for the night. The truth is, I wasn’t thinking about sex. I was thinking about going to the movies for the second weekend in a row; this time to see a movie I didn’t care about.

So, once again, what we have here is a failure to communicate. I promise to do better. He promises to do better. We just need to stop promising and do better already. I can’t keep disappointing him and he can’t keep getting hurt if I disappoint him. At some point today we will play. We have chores to do, but I don’t care how tired I am, we will play.