I forgot to send Mrs. Lion a daily letter on Wednesday. It completely slipped my mind, but not hers. She delivered a ten-minute spanking to remind me that I need to remember that email every morning. I hated every second of my spanking. Mrs. Lion seems to be getting back into her old form. My bottom doesn’t hurt today (Thursday). She seemed disappointed when she asked me if it did, and I told her that it wasn’t sore. I get it. A big part of the value of a spanking is the lingering reminder it provides.
As far as I’m concerned, the bigger issue is decoupling sex and punishment. With me, anorgasmic, it’s clear that spanking doesn’t charge my sexual battery. In the past, it did. Of course, it shouldn’t matter. We both accept that domestic discipline doesn’t involve my sexual pleasure. Old habits die hard, and Mrs. Lion is working on getting back to her fearsome level of spanking.
Change, even unrelated change, can affect our disciplinary balance. Despite what some men insist, domestic discipline is part of a much larger tapestry of feelings and actions. No matter how loudly they insist that discipline is unrelated to sex, the evidence, at least in my marriage, shows otherwise. The spankings are real and very painful (look at the pictures of my spanked butt). However, I’m pretty sure that a big reason Mrs. Lion is comfortable spanking me is that she knows I want it and in some perverted way, turns me on.
Now that nothing seems able to get me to have an orgasm, the sexual rationalization for spanking me is gone. The need to continue our domestic discipline is just as strong now. That has nothing at all to do with sex. When we remove sexual motivation, all that is left is punishment. Now, spanking me is pure punishment with no sexual undertones. Mrs. Lion is spanking me because I broke a rule.
I can hear the purists mutter, “Duh.” But they are missing the point. Mrs. Lion would never spank me if I truly didn’t want her to do it. She’s my disciplinary wife because I asked her to take on that role. She has more than my consent. She has my enthusiastic encouragement. She knows that I want and need domestic discipline.
Still, since I can’t have an orgasm, she has to accept that my need transcends my loss of libido. She has to believe that other, deeper needs drive me to continue as severely as before. I can’t articulate what they are. I just know that they are there. More importantly, our disciplinary marriage provides balance and peace. Neither of us wants to lose that.