Yesterday, I wrote (“I Got My Lioness On The Internet!“) about why BDSM doesn’t always work for us. After I wrote it, I realized that I wasn’t being as clear as I wanted to be. First, I want to say that what I’m writing is about me. I’m hoping that Mrs. Lion will read and use the information in this post as well as yesterday. I think others might benefit too.
the magic word
All of these activities have one thing in common: vulnerability. BDSM, male chastity, and domestic discipline demand vulnerability. I don’t think that Mrs. Lion fully understands what that means to me. She knows I like to be restrained. It turns me on when she restrains me. It isn’t that she has to do it in order to do things to me. I like it because she makes me defenseless. I have to accept what she does. That sends a powerful message to me that is sexual and emotional. Even if she simply restrains me and jerks me off, it’s a powerful experience. When she straps me down for a spanking, I feel helpless and vulnerable.
You might think that being trained to accept a spanking with no restraint is a powerful signal of control. It is; I can’t argue with that. Mrs. Lion knows I will accept spanking without trying to escape. When I’m strapped down, I know that I can’t escape. That’s powerful stuff.
Male chastity is very similar. It’s exciting to know that I can’t masturbate. If I’m locked into a male chastity device, I can’t even get hard. Talk about vulnerability. I’ve been trained not to masturbate. A male chastity device is unnecessary. I know that the only sex I can enjoy is at Mrs. Lion’s whim. There’s a problem with cage-free male chastity. My partner takes it for granted. She only reminds me of my plight when she edges me. A male chastity device is a constant reminder. A substitute would restore the fun. For a while, she had me wear a shock collar. That was a nice reminder and a way to get my attention.
Domestic discipline is a very obvious surrender. Mrs. Lion can punish (spank) me when I break a rule or annoy her. She can spank me on punishment days as a way to remind me who’s boss. This is especially effective when she tells me to mount the spanking bench when it is the last thing I want. She’s made the punishment day maintenance spankings quite mild; too mild, I think. Just saying…
what i need
I’m turned on by being vulnerable. We have a few very effective ways Mrs. Lion can do it. From my perspective, the key is the consistent application of those tools. Mrs. Lion is very consistent about punishing me if I break a rule. She’s less consistent about punishing me for interrupting or annoying her. When it comes to BDSM, I don’t want to decide when and what happens to me. Bondage of some sort amplifies the effect for me.
I know this takes valuable time and energy. I’m not asking for a radical change, just an understanding of what amplifies the effect of the activities we do. It isn’t so much what we do, it’s how vulnerable it makes me.
Thank you for listening.
[Mrs. Lion — Message received.]