I am writing this post on Saturday afternoon. Mrs. Lion was due in at 8 pm, but her flight is delayed about two hours. She probably won’t be home before eleven. Bummer. I just got off the phone with her. We miss each other a lot. I did some web research and discovered her flight is in the air on the way to her airport. That means she probably won’t be further delayed. Pro tip: If you want to figure out if a flight is still uncertain as to its status, Google “Incoming flights” and the airport you are departing from. Look for a flight from your airline that will be arriving at the same gate you will depart. Once you get the flght number, Google “flight status” for the airline and enter the flight number of the arriving flight. You will see exactly where it is. I used to fly several days a week. This technique saved my sanity many times.

Speaking of sanity, it’s been a week since my last orgasm. I have been fantasizing that Mrs. Lion would be home early enough for some sexual fun. The probability of any sex is extremely low. She’ll be tired and grumpy after sitting at the airport for hours and then being crammed into a 737. There’s always Sunday. Grrr. Sex isn’t important. What matters is that she will be home again. [Mrs. Lion — He’s right. I usually struggle not to jump out of the plane on the return flight. It’s even worse when there’s a delay. To make matters worse, the flight timer thinks we’ve landed, but the little plane image is still over Idaho. I should have been home by now. Well, at the airport or even on the way home. I’m not sure I would have been in the mood for sex if the plane was on time. I’m certainly not now.]

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I found an interesting product on Amazon, silicone handcuffs. They stretch over the hands and effectively keep them out of trouble. I’ve ordered a pair. It’s an easy way for Mrs. Lion to retrain my hands. She can easily attach the cuffs to an eyebolt in the headboard. Voila! Bound lion. Amazon truly has everything.

OK, I’m horny, and I want to play. When I feel like this, it’s a bad time for me to write. I tend to write sex scenes. My current effort doesn’t need sex right now. However, that’s where my mind is going. This has happened before. I usually end up deleting page after page of hot-but-inappropriate material. No, I don’t want to write porn at this point. I’ll just go watch TV.

Listen to this post.