Our approach to FLR is very different from how most people think of it. The standard view is that the female is a sort of queen, a ruler that treats her male as a submissive. That’s certainly untrue of us, and I suspect, many others who practice it.

In most respects, I make the decisions. It isn’t because we decided that I am the king of beasts around here. It’s just the way we function. There is one important difference between my being in charge and what Mrs. Lion and I have. She has the veto.

Lions, the four-footed cats, operate in very much the same way. The lion gets to eat first and does what he wants, up to a point. If a lioness decides that he’s out of line, she will bite him in the butt. He will never retaliate. It’s the same sort of deal we have. Instead of biting my butt, Mrs. Lion spanks it.

This is a very stable kind of relationship. I am always aware that my ability to do whatever I want is limited by what Mrs. Lion is willing to put up with. She makes and enforces rules for me. I have two “physical” rules: I have to set up the coffee pot for the next morning, and I have to close the shower door after I bathe. Both rules make sense. If I break one, I get spanked.

There are more subjective rules too. These are not always enforced. I have to behave politely to others and not annoy my lioness. Interrupting her (or anyone else) is grounds for a spanking; so is being rude or acting as a know-it-all. Most of the time, Mrs. Lion doesn’t punish me for these. We both agree that I would benefit from more consistent enforcement.

So far, we haven’t figured out how to improve her batting average. We both agree that it would be good to find a way. Any ideas?

Listen to this post.


  1. Spanked for being rude and acting know it all? Ha! Have her come read some of the comments you left on my political posts, if you dare! 😉
    (I’ve been spanked for my part in leaving rude comments as well!)

    1. Author

      I don’t think I was rude to you. We disagree about politics. I remain a good friend.

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